Monday, June 21, 2010

Is It Hot In Here?

Channeling Rick Mercer, my favorite Canadian political satirist, it is time for a RANT......of an unpolitical nature.

Warning, anyone under the age of 40 or male may not be able to relate to this on any level. Read at your own risk. To the rest of you, I feel your pain.

Being a woman of a "certain age" stinks sometimes! Fasten your seat belts, here it comes. First there are the awkward "developing" years between 12-15 years old. You say to yourself, what is happening to me??? Then comes the roughly 400-500 months of...fertility. Is there a nicer way to put it? You all know what I'm talking about. Do we really need to be "fertile" for that long??? Then, when you are just getting to the point in life where you don't have to worry about having or raising kids and have the monthly drill down pat, it all goes to H***. Mother Nature throws you a curve ball, hot flashes come out of nowhere and the monthly drill gets more and more random. What have I done to deserve this? I have paid my dues....and now this? Are you kidding? It can be below freezing (well, not here, but where I used to live) and here I sit sweating. Nothing I can do about it. You would think that modern science could come up with a solution. But NOOO, you get sweat at the most inconvenient times for who knows how long. Looking ridiculous with that glistening forehead and cheeks in any weather. Does it at least moisturize? Maybe this will put off the wrinkling process? Burn extra calories? Hope springs eternal!

In my case, adding insult to injury....our move to Texas (hottest and most humid place on earth!) coincides with the hot flash arrival. I am sure our air conditioning bill is going to be through the roof. Poor TJ is going to start wearing sweaters in the house while I am in nothing but a tank top and shorts. Joy. At least when we were in Canada, I could just open the window or go outside and "chill" until the flash died. Well, at least in the winter I could. So until the next ice age arrives or mother nature turns off my internal heater....I will be the hot momma with the glistening forehead.

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