I Feel Like Me Again

 After two days at the shore I feel like I had my first "real" day here.  The trip took forever this year, thanks to labor shortages at airports and increased travel by all of humanity this summer.  I did enjoy watching the U.S. Open in the Maple Leaf Lounge during my layover in Toronto...all of the Open!  I made it to the farmhouse by 4a.m., a mere 16 hours after leaving my home in Houston, I was finally in bed at 5!  I realized the last time I went to bed at 5 a.m. at the shore was after the annual barn party one year when my friend and I, after a long night of dancing, drinking, and socializing, sat out on the deck at the cottage, high on life, and watched the sunrise. It was an epic night...in a different way...and a lot more fun than being delayed for 7 hours in an airport.  Needless to say, on my first day here I felt similar to the one after the barn-party-sunrise night without the hours of fun and the hangover. Oh to be young again!  

My sweet set up for 5 quality hours in the Toronto airport.

Waking up to this....totally worth it!

Even if I did feel a bit "rode hard and put up wet", waking up to sunshine and this view kept me going all day until I could finally go to bed at a normal time and reset my internal clock.  I enjoyed walking around the property discovering what TJ had planted and where he planted it all.  He got here a month ago and has been living his best life!  One of his goals for retirement was always to come up here early, plant his garden and build whatever he decides is his project of the summer and not have to split time between the home office and the great outdoors.  His garden is a huge undertaking, beginning from seeds in coffee cups or seed trays and then finally graduating to the garden.  After being idle for 3 summers, the garden needed a good tilling!  Let's hope that dirt has been rejuvenated and is extremely fertile for this year's crops.  I also enjoyed seeing all of the flowers that are blooming right now.  My peonies are the size of my fist and bigger!  They are very prolific too!  Might have something to do with the fertilizer the gardener put on them!  What a novel concept.  I spent the day marveling at the lushness and bright colors of everything.  Quite the departure from Houston, where it was 100 degrees for several consecutive days and had not rained in a month, lush and green is not exactly how you would describe it.  My eyes were alive!

I can't even count the number of blooms on these plants!

Another observation after the first day or two is one that we both have every time we arrive.  I have said it before, and I will say it again, "life is a lot more physical here and everything takes longer".  I know it, I remember it, but it catches me every single time!  My house here is a lot bigger, a lot older and sits on a lot more land than my one at home.  Add to that the fact that it is 25 miles from the nearest town, not an easy 2 miles like at home.  I am forced, by nature, to slow down, prioritize, breath and take my time.

The last 3 months have taken a toll on me and I feel like coming up here is breathing life into my beaten body and soul.  This is the final piece of my therapy... mental and physical.  I never knew how much I needed this until I got here.  Being here makes me realize how hard I have been working to make my life bearable, my body heal and my attitude positive.  It was work, and I did it...but being here surrounded by people I know and love, with the promise of better things to come throughout the summer in the place that just breathing in the air makes my heart dance is just what the doctor ordered after the last 3 months!  I am pretty sure the last straw of the surgery, recovery, summer heat and humidity trifecta was getting Covid weeks before my departure.  Can I just say the last thing I needed after all those days spent on the couch recovering from knee surgery was being alone in my house for 2 weeks with Covid!?  Just when the knee was getting better it was such a smack down!  Let's just say "I am over it!"  and I feel like I can finally move on.

I love all of the potential in this photo!

 As I strolled around the yard yesterday, everywhere I looked I saw potential.  I love having hope...maybe it is the optimist in me.  The garden is full of baby plants promising many good meals with friends and family.  I look at the idle swing set and see the grandkids playing and laughing.  I look at TJ building the new deck and see morning coffee/tea time, evening barbeques and a staging area for s'mores at late night bonfires.  I see many plants growing fast enough that you can almost see it happen with the promise of beautiful flowers in the coming months.  The colors are so vivid they take my breath away.  For people who live here, maybe it is just the way life is.  For me, coming from Houston where the colors are not nearly as vivid and the seasons are not nearly as profound, this is a sensory treat!

Potential food and play!

Future salad!

Potatoes under construction

Today was a turning point.  I played golf again!  It has been 3 months since I played golf.  I knew golf was a big part of my life but never realized how big.  When you play 2 or 3 times a week, and most of your friends are "golf" friends, golf is a big part of your life.  Having it taken away left me scrambling for ways to spend my days.  I was not very creative, I confess.  I did not write my book, edit and organize all of my photos, read several books or cure cancer.  I did watch an obscene amount of TV and eat way more calories than I burned when I was not playing golf.  Happy to report those behaviors are now changing.  I hit that first drive on the first hole today and my mind and body jumped for joy!  Nothing hurt, the ball went straight...and far!!! After my inaugural 9 holes I came home and mowed the grass and all was right with the world.  I had a day when I felt like I was me again.  It has been a long time since I have felt like me!  

And one more sunset because, why not?!

You Gotta Be Kidding Me

 On June 2nd I headed out on a 12-day long multi-stop trip.  In those twelve days I planned to attend my class reunion in Baton Rouge, my aunt's funeral in Boston, visit my Mom and maybe help my sisters clean her house in Baton Rouge and then go to Orange Beach, AL with my sisters-in-law to celebrate a significant birthday of one of them.  Even I wondered if this was a lot to cram into twelve days.  It seemed like a good plan at the time.  You know what they say about the best laid plans....six days into my "life on the road" and I was back home...alone, not sitting on a white sandy beach.  Such is life these days, you just have to roll with the punches.  This is what happened.

On June 2nd, I drove to Baton Rouge, listening to '70's tunes on The Bridge/Sirius because it always reminds me of my high school and college days in BR.  After endless hours spent driving I-10 between Baton Rouge and Houston since 1986, taking a walk down memory lane listening to the Eagles or James Taylor makes the drive much more palatable, especially when my mind wanders to some fond memories. I was finally going to what would be the second anniversary of my 45th high school reunion.  Two years ago, the 45th was cancelled because of "you know what-19".  Then last year we also chickened out because of "you know what-19".  We persevered this year and as all of us are entering the Medicare years, we got together and had a great time!  Thank goodness for name tags!  Many people I would never have known otherwise, but some people...never change.  It was so much fun to reconnect with people I have not seen for seven years since the last reunion and some for much longer.  We got together after 47 years spent living our lives, raising our families, traveling the world, and having careers and are taken back so quickly.  Reunions are a combination of awesome and awkward, especially after 45+2 years!  We have all lived such wide and varied lives.  Everyone has a story.  I find it interesting to speculate who would still be close friends and who would not if we lived close to each other.  We all took our own paths.  Some people are still part of each other's lives and some of us because of time and distance have drifted away.  We shared some magical formative years together it was great to see everyone!

I would have know any one of these women without a name tag!

The day after the reunion, my sister and I flew to Boston for my Aunt's funeral.  Talk about a mood change.  My Aunt was my Dad's youngest sister.  She was a constant in our summers in Nova Scotia.  After my Dad passed away Dec. 31, 2020, his funeral was held when we were still in full social distancing, masking, unvaccinated times.  I felt it was important to attend my Aunt's funeral because I could.  Being able to talk to my cousins and my Uncle and share in their grief and their love for my Aunt felt important.  I remember when we finally were able to gather and celebrate my Dad's life in August last year, it was important to share stories and memories of Dad, just like it was important to do the same for my Aunt.  There are 19 first cousins on my Dad's side of the family.  Twelve of us, 4 who are her children, were at her funeral.  We love being together, we have had the luxury of spending summers together since we were born, we are very close!  She would have approved.  She was a kind, smart, faithful woman with a beautiful smile who was a born teacher.  Coincidentally, she once taught at the school my grandson now attends.  She loved crossword puzzles, as did my father.  No wonder I enjoy a good word puzzle!  As far as funerals go, this one was full of love.  I would say leaving behind such a close family is the best legacy one can leave. 

To a life well lived!

Another reason to make the trip to Boston is that my daughter and her family now live there.  I had not seen them since December and it was time!  They have grown so much...the kids that is!  I guess that happens.  We had a great time visiting a few parks, playing in the yard and seeing some of the sights together in Boston.  Everything in the area was blooming and the air was thick with pollen.  We were all feeling it.  Deirdre was not feeling well at all, poor kid, but she powered through the day.  Turns out, she had an ear infection.  No fun!  It was great to see all of them and to now know what their house looks like, what the neighborhood is like and what the park is like.  I enjoy being able to place people in my minds eye when we talk.

Saturday afternoon ice cream!

Deirdre found this egg in the yard. 
 She loved it...until eventually it cracked on her and she said,
"What? No bird?!  You gotta be kidding me!"
Life lessons...

Frog pond in Boston Common

After 4 days of  reuniting with friends and then family we flew back to Baton Rouge.  Upon landing we were informed that we had been exposed to "you know what-19".  Doesn't matter by who because at this point it could have been by anywhere from 1 to 50 people, it is everywhere!  I tested myself and I tested negative.  But...in a moment of good conscience I decided the trip to the beach was not going to happen for me.  Plus, there was that slight scratch in the back of my throat that I figured was pollen related but now I wondered.  I went to my Mom's house, she now lives in Assisted Living, to spend the night and maybe clean up and make a dent in the 50 years of stuff.  I could not figure out if it was the years of dust or the "you know what" that was making me sneeze!  I vowed to stay in isolation there until the recycle bin and the garbage can were full.  Only took one night and a few hours the next morning.  My sister referred to my time at Mom's as my Silent Waste Management Retreat.  No internet or television to distract me.  Good thing I was tired from all that reuniting!

When I went to bed that night at Mom's house, upstairs in the room that used to be my sister's, I looked up and saw the 3 chairs in the photo below.  It hit me that it is a picture of life.  Highchair, desk chair, wheelchair.  Stages of life all in one photo.  I am somewhere between the desk chair and the wheelchair right now...currently in the lounge chair!

A metaphor for life in three chairs.

Going back to your childhood home, after a class reunion, really does give a person flashbacks.  My Mom never threw anything away, and I am not exaggerating!  We love her, but every time I leave, I vow to go home and clean out another closet or some drawers!  My kids will thank me later.  This was also a common theme at our reunion as those of us who still have parents living are dealing with similar situations.  On the outside, Mom kept a very neat house...just don't look beneath the surface.  I know this is from the Depression days and I do wonder what habits we have now, that our kids... in the future, or maybe now, find perplexing.  Don't answer that.  I will say the house was probably cooler than it has been in 10 years, as Mom and Dad kept it balmy warm all year long and since I was alone I gave the A/C a real workout!  Luxurious!

Going through our parent's stuff in the house, aside from being overwhelming, is an archeological dig...so much history.  I did take one thing home with me.  It is a framed piece of art that someone gave me, in high school or college.  It has lived at Mom's house since then and now it lives at mine.  Sentimental value.  I did consider taking the mirror from my room upstairs.  It is a full length mirror that we girls loved.  Anyone who looks at it will agree the mirror takes off a good 10 pounds!  It is magic!  I need that mirror in my life.  I left it behind.  

Will it take of 10 years too?
Maybe I should have taken it!
"Vanity of vanities...all is vanity."

I am back home with no tan from the beach trip that never happened.  I have tested for 5 days since my return from Boston and am still negative which makes me think "you gotta be kidding me!".  I still think I must have "you know what-19" because beginning on Tuesday, I have had a series of mild symptoms, but for some reason I continue to test negative.  Nothing too terrible, I just feel like I am getting a cold, and then again maybe I am.  Conveniently, TJ is in Nova Scotia, so isolating is pretty easy.  I am on day 4 of my 7-10 days home alone just to be safe, plus it is 100 degrees outside, who wants to go anywhere anyway?!  Maybe I should use this time to clean out my own closets and drawers and do my kids a favor!