Hopeful Cookies

 Greetings!  This will likely be my last post for 2021.  There is so much to say and so little time or energy to say it these days.  Three years now and we are yet to have what feels like a "traditional" Christmas.  I feel like gone are the days of piling wrapped gifts under the tree with the collection growing larger every day in anticipation of the intended recipients.  Gone are the days of baking for days before Christmas in anticipation of a full house.  As much as I love all those baked goods, I am pretty sure after my physical in a week my doctor will once again scold me for rising blood sugar and extra weight, so the yummy Christmas treats will look more like vegetables than buttery delicious cookies.  But then again, maybe not!  Willpower is not my strong suit!  

We are in the final week before Christmas.  We have two of our grandchildren staying with us this week while their parents move everything into their new home in Boston.  Nothing makes you feel your age like trying to care for a 6-year-old and 3-year-old when you are "of a certain age".  I am so glad I had my kids when I was young!  No wonder I didn't drink back then...who had the time or the energy?  Probably lucky for them too.  Also, no wonder I was so much thinner when I was young, in addition to the no drinking, there was no sitting on the couch either.  Parenting young children is not for wimps.  It does have its rewards though!  Today we reaped some of those rewards.  We took the kids to Mass this morning.  I have been to church with many young children and usually found myself questioning why we were expected to have those children and bring them to church when there was no way I was going to be able to pay attention to anything read or spoken during that Mass because I was constantly corralling the children.  Today, the children were perfectly, well...almost, behaved and I even heard what was read, spoken and sung during church. So much so that one song brought tears to my eyes.  Breath of Heaven is worth a listen to get you in the spirit.  It was a Christmas miracle!

After a dreary, rainy day yesterday, today was chilly and sunny and everyone was happy to be outdoors.  I thought it would be fun to bring the kids to town center and see the giant Christmas tree.  Little did I know that there was an outdoor market set up today around the town square.  Bonus!  The kids were enchanted with the tree, and I sprung for a couple of pre-Christmas treats for them.  It is starting to feel a bit like Christmas.  The rest of the day was spent playing at the playground, helping Grampy build my Christmas gift in the garage, building our new Lego, reading lots of books, walking around the neighborhood and eating all of the fruit in the house.  We ended the day watching a couple of cute kiddie Christmas Disney+ shows.  I am a sucker for a cute Disney show.  I think they are as tired as we are at the end of the day because we don't hear a peep out of them when they go to bed.  All is good...so far.  We are only at the end of day 2 though.  

Sugar Land, Texas

Because who doesn't love a giant Christmas tree and a lizard hand puppet?

Grampy's assistant helping build Gigi's Christmas gift.

This year, our focus is definitely not on the material things.  Christmas gifts are an afterthought.  In the front of our minds are these two kids, who we will miss so much when they move north and the rest of our family.  Many of us will be together for the first time in a very long time.  That is, if all goes to plan and these days, nothing goes according to plan.  Living a life where making plans comes with a caveat that those plans may well be cancelled depending on the current situation is mentally and emotionally challenging.  I like to go "all in" when I make a plan, so knowing in the back of my mind that any number of circumstances could change those plans makes it all feel so halfway.  My heart can't commit, and if your heart can't commit, why bother?  I find myself committing and just setting myself up for disappointment.  It happens.  A by-product of the last almost 2 years.  I don't' like it, just in case anyone wants to know. 

 So, while our house will be fuller than in the previous 2 Christmas', we are guarded in knowing that in a moment, it could all change.  So...no baking just yet.  I just can't look at hopeful cookies before I know I have help to eat them.  It's weird...right?  In the meantime, we have two very sweet and excited children to bring to the forefront the true joy of Christmas, and for that we are very thankful!  Merry Christmas everyone!  May the joy of Christmas through a child's eyes be yours!

Control

A little God wink today for all the control freaks out there.  Maybe it is something we all need to be reminded of. Maybe it is my gift to you today and maybe it is just something to give you a bit of a giggle.

I was out running some Christmas errands today.  Far be it from me to do anything well ahead of time when I can wait until the last minute.  I was picking up a gift for a gift exchange, getting the ingredients I needed to make the appetizer I am bringing to the gift exchange party and throwing in some random gift shopping for the family.  I was not necessarily rushed, and it was not an altogether unpleasant experience unless you factor in the fact that it is still 80 degrees, and I wore as mask for all of these errands...bah humbug.  I almost felt productive.

I was on my way home and noticed how poorly I had timed my return.  It was now "school zone" time and in the one-giant-school-zone I pass through to get home there are 4 schools that let out at varying times.  Traffic is a nightmare from 2:35-4.  As I approached one particularly backed up light and looked ahead at a solid line of cars on the other side of the light going nowhere, I decided to be clever and scoot into the right lane and turn onto the cross street and go home the back way.  I figured it would be forever before I made it through the light and then through the next light before I got to my turn.  It was smooth sailing until I reached the front of the high school and the traffic guard held up his hand for me to stop. I sat there as 25-30 school buses proceeded to pull out in front of me...one after another, they just kept on coming out of the school!

As I sat there, waiting for an eternity watching the yellow line in front of me get longer and longer, the song on the radio came into my consciousness and I listened to the lyrics.  The name of the song was Control by For King and Country and listening to the lyrics I just had to laugh at myself for trying to be so clever and take control of my situation.  I must have needed to slow down, sit for a few minutes and listen.  Even if it was just traffic...I was reminded that at the end of the day, I am not in control of it all and I just have to trust there is a higher power at work in my life.  

I give up control, 
Body, mind, and soul, 
Can't do this on my own, alone, no
I give up control