Friday, April 8, 2011

Where is My Invisibility Cloak When I Need It?

Yesterday I went into the mall and was reminded why I am beginning to hate the mall.  I remember when I could freely stroll through the mall and window shop or daydream in peace.  Now it is like an obstacle course of kiosks and their aggressive hawkers. When did it become OK to attack innocent shoppers weilding hair straighteners and hand lotion? I now have to go to the mall armed with my "leave me alone" face. NO, I don't want to sit in one of those back rubbing chairs....stop looking at me with that face, I don't need a new phone or a new phone plan, or revolutionary hand cream that I am sure will make my hands look 10 years younger,  I don't want a hair straightener (can't you tell I already have one....NO?  darn!) ,  those nuts smell good but if I want some I will ask you!  I go through the gauntlet of kiosks looking everywhere but in the eyes of the hawkers. I look at the floor, I look the opposite way, I have even pretended to be talking on my phone, apparently the only way they will not come up to me and ask, "can I show you something?". I want to walk with one hand up, shaking my head "no" and using my "leave me alone" glare.  I am sure these kiosks are bad for business for the adjacent stores, who wants to dodge and weave their way through the aggressive kiosk hawkers just to get to a store? Where is my invisibility cloak when I need it? 

I actually visited one of these kiosks on my last mall visit....I was looking for sunglasses and they do have a good selection for a good price.  I probably would have bought the 2 pair for a ridiculously low price except for the kiosk worker who ended up creaping me out.  There I was, trying on sunglasses and this is how the conversation went...

KW:  (in a slight german or northern european accent)  you look very serious
Me: not really.... (ignoring him, just trying on glasses)
KW:  so, you are not a big talker, you are very quiet
Me: uh huh  (wow, this guy is so perceptive)
KW:  I bet you are a mother
Me: yup   (what gave it away?  my age, my wedding ring, my ability to ignore 20somthing annoying boys?)
KW:  I'll bet you are a stict mother
Me:  ?
KW:  Yes, you are a strict mother, are you German?
Me: No
KW:  Really, no German, not even a little bit?
Me: Nope, no German  (can I just try on glasses?)
KW:  Hmmmm, where did you get the strictness from?  My mother is German but she was not very strict...just look at me!  (working in a mall kiosk selling sunglasses?) 
Me:  From my father, he was the strict one.  Well, thanks, but no glasses today....bye  (those ones with the white frames were soo cute, ugh)

I am surprised he did not try to tell me my life story!  Invisibility cloak please!

1 comment:

Carol said...

Your approach may be genetic. I've been "accused' of being German. Looks mostly (blonde, tall, able bodied, (to be nice!)) - and you nailed it on the head! Your dad! I will elaborate with this later, but you are so correct!!

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