Every once in a while, things fall into your lap and while they are there, they slap you in the face and wake you up. That happened to me today! I headed out for my daily walk, which is a day overdue because of the horrendous weather we have been having and chose...for some reason, to listen to a podcast. Usually, I listen to a book, but I just finished my book and I am in that "post great book mourning period", so I haven't chosen a new one yet. I browsed the podcasts that came up on my Spotify app and landed on The Happiness Lab - You Only Live Once episode. I put in my earbuds and headed out on my damp, humid walk. My walk was not only just what I needed physically, but just what I needed mentally.
At the risk of repeating the entire podcast and misinterpreting it, I'll just encourage you to listen. There was so much there! It addressed many things I struggle with in my life, confirmed many of my thoughts, challenged others and most of all opened my eyes. It put into words things I am aware of, under the surface, but am not eloquent enough to express. It shed such a great perspective on behaviors we all fall victim to in our lives. If you have ever found yourself browsing the many choices on Netflix and still come up empty handed with what to watch or caught yourself running late because you were mindlessly scrolling through stupid reel after reel on Instagram or if you can't make a decision on what hotel, tour, restaurant, or just name anything you search on the internet, you might love this podcast.
After spending hours upon hours browsing through potential hotels, travel itineraries and tour options for an upcoming trip, this podcast made me stop in my steps and open my eyes. I was having trouble committing to where to stay, what to do and where to go because there were just too many choices. The fear of having "buyer's remorse" had me paralyzed. Plus, every reservation I made, I made sure it had free cancellations because...there could just be a better option! Failure to commit. By not completely committing to a choice I may be inadvertently sabotaging my choice. With so many choices right in front of me...how can I be sure I am making the right choice?
Find out the answer to this and other questions and give it a listen. Excuse me while I go confirm some reservations.
Last year I was sitting on this same sofa, watching the same thing (The Masters) on tv under very different conditions. Earlier that day, I had my ACL replacement surgery and spent the better part of the next 3 - 6 months rehabbing. Today, I played golf, took a walk and feel thankfully very different than I did a year ago. I just read this post from the day before my surgery and can say, yes, I am glad I did it, but it wasn't easy.
April 6, 2022 Not having fun here....
April 6, 2023 So glad I can sit cross-legged again!
Reading the updates following the surgery I am amazed by myself. Many of us never stop and give ourselves time or permission to be amazed by the gift of our body's ability to heal. I am truly thankful. But honestly, when they told me it sometimes takes a whole year to recover, I was daunted and thought to myself, "a year seems like forever!". It was, but it also flew by. I look forward to this being but a distant memory!
One year post surgery and while I still don't (never did) walk very fast, I am faster than I was a year ago.
I played golf today and... well...my current handicap index is 20.0 and it was 17.5 a year ago before I went on the injured reserve list. Some things take longer to come back than others, I guess. I am making it my mission to get back below 20. Even if I "have" to play golf three times a week.
In other good news, next week we are going to finally take the second part of that trip we had to cancel last year. Our plan was to go to The Netherlands and tiptoe through the tulips before we walked the Portugues Camino de Santiago. We did the Camino last October, but there are no tulips in October. To say I am looking forward to this trip would be an understatement. Bring on the tulips and the canals of Amsterdam!
And HAPPY EASTER!
These are the kind of photos that set us up for disappointment. But then again, "maybe not" said the eternal optimist!
There is a black box that has been sitting on my coffee table for a couple few months staring at me and mocking me every night as I do my best to avoid making eye contact with it while I avert my eyes to my computer or the television. I know the contents of the box but then again, I don't know them. The box has my name on it, and it contains the photos from my mother's house that my sisters, who tackled the huge task of emptying the house for sale, thought would hold a special place in my heart. We each got a special box of memories from thousands of photos in our parent's house when it was sold. I am not sure why I haven't looked in "the box" yet except that I knew I had to be in the right frame of mind to give it its due diligence. Finally, last week, I faced the past.
My past lies inside.
"The box" had photos of my parents, as babies, as children, as a young couple, as young parents, as grandparents and as great-grandparents. That is a lot for one box! There were photos of my dad's parents and some of their siblings together when they were the younger and at the shore. It is so interesting to see people, who were always "old" in my mind, when they were probably younger than I am now. Maybe that is why it took so long to open "the box", having to face the reality of time passing.
The people we can thank for making "the shore" such a large part of our lives! My grandparents are the two on the right side. My grandmother's sisters are the other women.
Among the photos in the "the box" were some I haven't seen in forever! In my mind, I remember what I looked like when I was in high school, but is that memory anywhere near what I really looked like? The reality upon seeing the photos is that maybe I looked better than I remember, which I am taking as a good thing. It is also a telling thing about the tricks our minds play on us. One of my sisters always says, enjoy where you are now because it is better than you think, and you will never be this young again! We never think we look good in photos, or is that just me? When in truth, we usually look better than we think. Must remember to embrace the "now".
Another thought about the walk down memory lane is that after finishing Daisy Jones and the Six, the 70's have been on my mind. The fashion and trends were epic! I started watching the mini-series and find myself fondly reliving that time and the music. The '70's had the best music, if I do say so myself!
18-year-old Lisa. She was so cute. I wish she would have known. I loved that blouse! I am sitting just like this as I write...a hundred years later.
Who remembers sitting next to the telephone waiting for a certain someone to call? I am sure that is what I am doing here! So many hours spent on the phone!!! I am not a fan of talking on the phone now...go figure.
I enjoyed the walk down memory lane in "the box". The photos were less than great quality, but they were of the time. There were even a few letters, remember them? Letters I wrote to my parents. I used to write letters! Now we just send a random email or a text message. Both of which will disappear soon enough, unless we are running for office and have something to hide. My mom saved everything! This was probably not seen as a positive thing when my sisters had to go through everything and get rid of most of it last year, but there are some things I am very glad she held on to and that my sisters thought well enough to save for me. Namely, my youth and my parents' youth. My house is full of photo albums, some of which may provide the same pleasure for my kids one day. It is also full of a lot of stuff that will provide them with frustration one day. And so, it goes.
Like I said, "the box" took a certain frame of mind to delve into and maybe this blog takes the same frame of mind. Cue the "70's music...
Me and my first best friend! What fashion icons...leggings and crop pants!
"I was once what you are, you will become what I am."
I was on my daily walk yesterday listening to a book while I walked. Recently, I have embraced listening to books while walking. I usually have one print book going and at least one Audible book in progress. Before you ask, yes, sometimes I confuse them, especially when they have similar story lines like the last two did. Not doing that again! Another thing I have embraced are books about the Camino. I am listening to my third one...I just can't resist them. They are especially good to listen to while walking, I go a lot farther just imagining I am walking with the narrator back on the Camino and remembering the miles we put in every day. "I did it then, I can do it now" is the mantra that goes through my mind to make me go the extra mile now.
The quotes above were in the current book I am listening to, Steps Out of Time, by Katharine B Soper. Another woman in her late 50's who does the Camino...alone. She has a perspective I find admirable and makes me want to go back and do more of the Camino. Yesterday, on my walk/listen, she said two things that I actually had to stop, get out my phone, and write down so I would not forget them! As much as I tell myself, "Oh, I need to remember that", the chances of it actually happening are slim, so to my notes I must go.
The first quote that caught my attention was "I was once what you are, you will become what I am." Among its possible origins are a Roman epitaph or Horace, there are many out there. It rung so true to me as a member of that generation between our aging parents and our children who are now parents. I have a mother who is rather gracefully dealing with her loss of independence, loss of her spouse, and dementia and I wonder if this too will be my lot. I also have daughters with children, and they are dealing with all of those parenting issues that by the grace of God I managed to navigate my way through. There were days, weeks and months that were challenging, rewarding, exhausting and fun! I walked in those stylish shoes and wonder what my future shoes look like. Probably utilitarian, non-slip and comfortable...with a splash of pink.
The quote that made me really stop and think was the first quote. "Savor the moment but accept that it will pass."
savour verb [ T ] UK (US savor) uk / ˈseɪ.və r/ us / ˈseɪ.vɚ / to enjoy food or an experience slowly, in order to enjoy it as much as possible.
How many moments in our lives have we just stopped and savored? There have been countless moments that I wish would never have passed! Those perfect moments you want to have last forever...or at least for longer. I think this is why I love photography so much. It is capturing those moments for future reference. This quote made my walk so much more interesting as my mind wandered off to some of the most perfect moments of my life. I may have missed some of the book while my mind wandered.
Part of savoring the moment is being aware and present enough in the moment to stop and take it all in. Take in that moment when you enter a tunnel on one side of a mountain only to exit on the other side to the most exquisite view of the sea and the mountains in the distance. Savor that moment when the sun is setting, and it lights up the sky to the most incredible colors you can imagine. Savor the moment you gave birth, and you felt a love that was bigger than anything you ever thought possible. Savor the that feeling of accomplishing something you only dreamed was possible. Savor sitting around the table with people you love, laughing and sharing a delicious meal.
The hard part is the accepting that it will pass. That double edged sword. Time marches on and those moments only last...a moment. Before you know it, the sun has set and it is dark, that newborn baby is a confounding teenager, that accomplishment is diminished by the next goal and the meal is over and the dishes need to be done. But you had that moment! Savor them!
We are almost one month into 2023...how is it going out there? Welcome to January (my favorite January post!), or as I am referring to it, "my annual reset button". I don't necessarily make resolutions but occasionally I will assess the past year and where I am compared to where I was last year, or the year before, or maybe 5 years ago. But really...comparing to 5 years ago just reminds me how time is marching by! This year I have decided to make a few promises to myself, with the goal of self-improvement. Ugh! Self-improvement....so much work!
January 2022 My "sweet rides" before they were retired.
January 2021 Avoiding humanity and Covid and cuddling with newborn Augie!
5 years ago...I won't be doing this anymore...
It was good while it lasted! Obviously, January is a month for skiing!
My first promise or pie-in-the-sky wish is to get healthier. A general goal which means eating healthier...or just less, drinking less, moving more and ultimately looking and feeling better. Not that I feel bad now but I ain't gettin' any younger...dammit. I need to keep the tires aired up, the engine tuned and take care of the interior and exterior, so I can outlive my warranty.
My other goal, which will probably be easier to accomplish, is to improve my golf game. My beloved golf game was cast aside and left on a ski slope to wither back in February. Life kind of got in the way of my golf game and it was seriously neglected in exchange for rehab, recovery, and travel. It became an afterthought instead of a priority. Poor golf game. Now that I have the time and the knees to golf again, I want to get back to where I was or even improve. A girl can hope!
Hoping to make this drive several times a week!
It is almost the end of January, and I am happy to report that things are going well on all fronts. After a month or six of overindulgence in all things food and drink, I have cut back from my "no rules" consumption habits to some reasonable consumption practices. I was not ready to commit to dry January, so I am doing "damp" January (which I occasionally refer to as "grumpy humorless January"). But "damp" instead of "dry" has a better chance of becoming a practice that will be sustainable into the rest of the year. According to Atomic Habits (yes, I am also trying to improve my reading material), if I do 1% better every day or week, I will ultimately reach my potential. Stay tuned.
Improving my golf game is a much more fun (most days) endeavor! Spending 4 hours outside hitting a little white ball into a small hole, in the company of friends, is so much more fun than eating my vegetables and drinking water! I have already begun to see improvement...but it was not going to be hard to play better than I did last year! Low bar to hurdle there. I must say that I also enjoy playing in moderate to cool conditions a lot more than hot and humid ones, which makes January a great time to work on my game. This is a promise I should be able to keep for longer than a month! Just think, if I do 1% better every week where I could be. The math geeks out there are welcome to do the calculations on this one for me and let me know when I can expect to shoot in the 80's! I'll wait.
In other news, I am trying to figure out ways to perk up the blog, or maybe ways to wake up my writing. I realize just by writing this, that I really do enjoy writing and should do more of it just to exercise different parts of my brain. As with golf...and maybe healthy living, writing takes practice. I do have a few ideas but not quite the total vision yet. I guess now I have a project to work on when I am not golfing or deciding what healthy options I should make for dinner! Feel free to share recipes, blog topics or ways to make a 10-foot putt!
I must get to 20! As if creating my Christmas letter wasn't enough writing for this busy season, I noticed that there are only 19 posts this year on the blog, and I am not a fan of odd numbers...so one more post it is. How is everyone doing this holiday season? I, for one, feel like it is the first "real" Christmas season I have lived in many years. We attended more parties in one week this season than we attended in the past two years combined! Well, maybe there was a small gathering last year, but this year feels like we are celebrating together...for the first time in a while, and I like it!
One trivial holiday observation this year was that holiday parties required a change in wardrobe. Over the past two years I have gathered quite the athleisure wardrobe and have become very used to it. This year I actually had to wear "real" clothes. I missed real clothes! I have even reintroduced myself to many of the clothes in my closet. Those long idle "going out" clothes and shoes. Hello old friends...now let's see if you still fit and are still relatively in style.
Initially, I thought I would take the easy way out of a blog post and just show you the year in photos, kind of like the Life magazine or National Geographic "best of" yearly summaries without the professional writing and photography. I started out thinking I could just choose one photo of people and one of a place for each month. This proved to be impossible. I guess that means it really was a good year and when it wasn't good, it was interesting. I hope your year was one filled with good and interesting things.
January through mid-September was a roller coaster full of highs and lows. It began with TJ retiring and I think we both spent the next few months trying to figure out what to do with all of that new free time. Funny how a person works for over 40 years and the goal is to eventually not have to work anymore, except after 40 years, all you know how to do is work! Your identity is linked to that job and once the job is over you have to redefine yourself. Once he got to the shore, he had no problem happily filling all that time and owning his retirement!
Here is a video (because if I posted each of them individually here it would take until next year for me to finish this post!) of the first 8 1/2 months of the year and how we filled some of our newly acquired free time! The good, the bad and the interesting. Turn on your sound for the soundtrack.
Once we left the shore it was time to do exactly what we had hoped we would be doing in "retirement"!
We also took advantage of being "of sound mind and body" and used it before we lose it! The second half of the year was definitely more fun than the first half, at least for me! TJ may beg to differ, but I doubt it.
Happy New Year to all of you! Thank you for reading and allowing me this guilty pleasure. When I reflect, 2022 was a pretty good year for us. I hope it was for you as well. We all have ups and downs; I hope between them things are still interesting! Looking forward to what lies ahead. May God bless you and your family.
It was our last day walking the Camino. Part of me, mostly my feet, wanted it to be over as fast as possible and part of me, the part that felt like it was finally experiencing the true spirit of the Camino, wanted it to go on a lot longer. So it was with mixed emotions that I headed out that morning. There may have also been another part of me, the part that was deflated when I saw yet another wet morning on the horizon, that was just "over it!". With dry socks tucked away in my backpack and the best attitude I could muster up; I headed out that morning for the final walk.
We wiped the mud of Pradron off our shoes and headed north.
Almost every church had a cemetery attached. Staying close to God.
Each day on the Camino, I chose a group or groups of people to dedicate my prayers to while walking. With so many disconnected hours spent walking, there was plenty of time to pray...and it is, at the base, a religious pilgrimage. There were some groups, like my kids, siblings and Mom who got daily prayers but then there were also groups of people I focused on. If you are reading this, I probably prayed for you at one point or another. This final day, I decided to pray for all of our family and friends who had passed away. Sometimes I would just remember things about them, sometimes I would see things and think about how much they would love those same sights. Sometimes I would pray for specific blessings for them. Sometimes I would pray to them to help me make it up the next hill, or to take the pain of my aching toes off my mind or to just give me strength to make it to the end. One prayer always led to another, and one thought always led to another. I was also enjoying being "unplugged". I had decided that while walking I would only use my phone as a camera. I put it on mute and many days I kept it on Airplane Mode to save battery and avoid the temptation of checking any communications. It led to a very peaceful time.
Look! The rain stopped!
A peaceful walk
A church next to our morning coffee/bathroom stop.
So of course, we went inside! A youth group was up front being told about the church.
A little way out of this town the youth group caught up to us. It seemed that for the rest of the day we played cat and mouse with this group of teenagers. Either they were passing us, or we were passing them. Youth and energy abounded...and honestly, I was a little irritated if I must confess. Here I was being all contemplative and just trying to get through the day and these kids were just...having fun and being kids. How dare they! One funny story...at one point they said, "Buen Camino" to TJ who was passing them and the thing to do was to say it back, but TJ had not heard them because he had taken out his hearing aids due to the rain. I was a bit behind the group and saw one of the kids turn around to his friends and make a face and throw up his hands at TJ's ignoring them and they all snickered and joined in the mocking. I just had to come to his defense and told them, "He can't hear you", implying he was deaf or at least very hard of hearing, which he is, at which point they apologized. I knew they were good kids...or at least normal kids.
One or two rain showers later, I passed one of the groups of kids and was trying to get far enough ahead of them to have some space when I heard the sound of someone listening to YouTube or TikTok on their phone. Up to this point, I had not heard anyone playing music or listening to anything out loud on the Camino. I am sure people listen to stuff on their ear pods, but no one played anything out loud. I thought to myself, "really?!" and kept walking. It continued and I tried to listen and figure out what it was. It sounded like comedy or a skit since there was a lot of talking then laughing. I figured the kids were watching a video or something...and I listened. It was in English; they were Spanish speaking. Hmmm. I listened more. It was Ricky Gervais! I thought to myself, "of all the irreverent things to listen to on the Camino... Ricky Gervais?!!". I also wondered how these Spanish speaking kids were listening to and understanding Ricky Gervais. Their English must be better than I thought. Then two guys, late 20's or early 30's passed me and I thought to myself, "Ah, it must be they who are disrespecting the Camino with their Ricky Gervais" and figured at least once they passed me up the irreverent comedy would be out of earshot. But it wasn't. Mind you, I like Ricky, but there is a time and place for everything. At that point, I decided to look at my phone for some reason. To my utter horror and mortification, on my muted-airplane-mode phone, was Ricky Gervais Live playing for all the Camino to hear!!! I have never pushed "stop" faster in my life! I wanted to crawl in a hole! OK God...message heard, loud and clear! "Judge not, lest ye be judged!" Talk about getting a smack down! It took Ricky Gervais in my pocket to get that message through my hard head. I immediately asked for forgiveness for throwing those kids and the two guys under my Ricky Gervais bus of judgement!
I still am mystified by how Ricky Gervais Live started randomly playing, out loud... from my phone... in my pocket. Yes, I did watch his live show on Netflix...months ago. Why didn't my pocket play The Great British Baking Show instead? Just think of all the pocket punches that had to happen to get it to play again, I did, and it was mind boggling. I also need to give a disclaimer as to why it probably took me longer to figure out where the sound was coming from. I am deaf in my right ear. My phone was in my right pocket. I don't hear in stereo, I only hear from the left, which made me think Ricky was swearing and telling irreverent jokes from somewhere on my left side, not from my right pocket! Ugh...I was so mortified! I feel like I owe all of those people an apology. I sure hope God has a sense of humor too, because it really was funny in a slap your head kind of way. Needless to say, the rest of my day was spent walking in humility!
Only 4.7km left!!!
We were wishing they all looked like this!
Why is it that last bit seems like it takes the longest? We hit more rain, of course, and decided to stop for lunch with about 8 km to go. We were getting close! At lunch we aired out our soaked feet and put on our dry socks for the final trek. With our bellies full and our socks dry, we set off for the final leg. Less than 5km/3.1 miles to walk which I continued to equate with one of my easy morning walks. This perspective helped me along the Way because I knew I could walk that far at any time. It felt like it took forever. We could see our destination in the distance but first we had to walk through neighborhoods, parks, past schools and into the city. Once in the city the bottom dropped out and it poured! I mean, poured! So much for those dry socks we put on at lunch. We were soaked to the bone. We kept going dodging getting splashed by the passing buses and cars. City walking was very different than country walking.
The time we had to seek shelter in a doorway. Nobody but us silly pilgrims on the road.
Santiago de Compostela Old Town....we must be getting close!
It was with unexpected tears in my eyes that I entered the area in front of the Cathedral. I was overcome with emotion...and exhaustion. One of the other reasons for my tears was that for the entire day I felt very close to my dad, in prayers and thoughts. He had very limited physical abilities towards the end of his life and for some reason, my ability to do this Camino made me so thankful for my legs, my feet and my capable body. All things that he did not have at the end of his life, and I knew they were things he dearly missed. I carried him with me, because I could. This day definitely hit me with a few surprises!
The Santiago Cathedral
We did it!!!
Both our friends, Rick and Patty and we finished our Camino segment of 100 km. In all, we probably walked closer to 110 or 120 km, but who is counting? I am!!! We took the obligatory photos in front of the Cathedral and then made our way to the passport office to get our Compostela. I was so proud and regardless of the length of the line, I was going to get that piece of paper! Turns out, 4 people constitute a "group" and we got to skip the line and go to a "group" office which was much faster to get our certificates. I was chosen to fill out our information on the computer and the hardest part was choosing our professions...listed in Spanish. Basically, we are all retired but that was not a choice. Some choices were easy, "artista" which I assigned to Patty, "technical" which I assigned to TJ. Rick and I were not as easy. I clicked something with the word "professional" in the title...hope it wasn't wrestler! I have no idea what the Compostela office thinks my profession is! Something to do with "casa"...there was not a "mother of 4, wanna be photographer and golfer, loud player of irreverent humor on the Camino" choice. With our beautiful papers safely tucked away in their tubes, we proudly and with great relief, made our way to our hotel.
Santiago is a place I would love to visit again. We only spent one night there and really enjoyed the old town shops and restaurants. We ate to our hearts content that night. After all, it had been a 20+ mile day, we earned it! Dinner was delicious! The next morning, we experienced the icing on the cake! We attended Mass at the Cathedral. We arrived an hour early! We had been told it was necessary to get a seat, and maybe it was. The Mass was lovely and the countries of all the pilgrims who had finished the previous day were named at one point in the Mass. It was touching. But...the reason for the crowd, and a most unique experience, was when they lit and swung the botafumeiro (incense burner) and sent it into motion. A once in a lifetime experience. Share the experience below.
Would I do it again? Yes. Rain and all!
Take aways from the Way.
-There is something so peaceful and contemplative about getting up every morning and knowing that all you have to do is walk until you get there.
- The Camino is the great equalizer. We are all just putting one foot in front of the other and hoping to get there.
-There is something to be said for extended quiet time spent in nature.
- I cannot say how thankful I am for the patience of my husband and for his help in my rehabilitation post-surgery and his encouragement along the way.
- I am also thankful for my body. It carried me through and amazed me this year. There were definitely times I thought this was not even a possibility.
-Spain is beautiful and the people are wonderful. Does not hurt that the prices were the most affordable of our entire trip.
-You will not melt. We were rained on more times than I can count on this trip. At the end of the day, you will not melt, and your shoes will eventually dry.
-The Camino is a microcosm of life. We are all on the same path, doing it differently and at our own pace, faced with our own obstacles and advantages.
I am sure there are many more lessons that will make themselves obvious as time goes on. I knew the aching feet would be fleeting but the experience will last forever. It was a blessing and a privilege to walk the Way of St. James.
