A Note to Myself in April 2023

 

April 2022

Today is the "day before".  I thought I would document this day and make a note on my April 6, 2023 calendar to re-read this post to see just how far I have come.  I am doing this with hopes that a year from now I will be in a better place than I am today or have been since February 2nd.  If that is not the case, then darn!  I am also doing this to have some measurable progress reports and maybe some other 60-something year old woman can read this and know what she is facing as far as ACL surgery goes, because frankly there is not a lot of information out there for women "our age".  Apparently, this is a young person's injury and a young person's recovery story.  People our age should be sitting on the sofa, eating ice cream and watching television.  Things are definitely changing.  Although, there may be a day (or two) in the next few months that I am definitely sitting on the sofa eating ice cream and watching television. 

Knowing that tomorrow I will feel a lot worse than I do at this moment is unsettling.  To think I am doing this voluntarily may indicate insanity to some.  I wonder myself.  Planning for the future has never been my strong suit and this is definitely in the "planning for the future" category.  If I want to do all I want to do in the future, then under the knife I go.  

Current status:

Mood- anxious, nervous, hesitant

Pain level- minimal

Swelling- some, but not a ton

It is the one on the right.  I was even starting 
to get a knee brace tan to match my sock tan!

Activity level-

I played golf twice this week and took my usual walk today.  

I have done my pre-hab exercises "almost" every day.  

I decided to log my walk as a goal for the future.  I found myself wondering how long it will be before I can walk as far and at a similar pace again.  Hoping this does more to motivate me rather than depress me.  

My last walk with my torn ACL
and damaged meniscus.
Goal for the future!

Weight- hahaha!  None of your business!

Height- 2 inches too short for my weight!

Range of Motion- I can straighten my leg completely and bend it more than 90 degrees but not quite as far as the other leg.  Straightening does not hurt at all; bending is a lot harder and hurts past maybe 110 degrees.  

I have no idea how long it will be until I get back to where I came from in this process.  I do know I am going to have painful days, less painful days, boring days and days I feel isolated.  Days I feel like I have taken two steps forward and ones I feel like I am going backwards.  I am hoping that maybe part of the last 2 years has set me up for the isolation, thanks Covid lockdown for something.  Maybe I need to break out the puzzles again or the coloring books.  Hoping to update my progress weekly and looking forward to sharing some of our trip to Italy once I am awake and alert long enough to string together cohesive sentences!  It will be something to look forward to, at least for me!

I have no expectations for the first week except to get through it!  I plan to follow the doctor's instructions, do as prescribed, hope for the best and try to stay positive.  I did meet a woman yesterday who has become my inspiration.  She is 69 years old, in great shape and has a decent golf game.  She said she had the same surgery when she was in her 50's and said she was out and about in 6 weeks.  She said it was not nearly as bad as she expected and judging by her mobility level at 69, she is a success story!  She gave me some very encouraging words and they were just what I needed.  

I do think it is a cruel joke that I have to arrive at the surgery center at 5 a.m.!  (I am such a morning person😂) At least I will be my doctor's first surgery of the day!  I have big plans to catch up on my sleep when I get home!