Have I Gone From Lorelai to Emily?

Disclaimer: If you have never watched Gilmore Girls this post may be unrelatable.  Also, if you have never watched it, you have no idea what you are missing, especially if you are a mother...or a daughter.  Maybe this will all be relatable regardless.  Carry on!

Last night after searching the vast wasteland of viewing options on television I sought refuge on my computer and resorted to a long ago and far away happy place.  I started watching Gilmore Girls from episode 1/season 1.  I can't remember the last, or even the first, time I saw the very beginning of Gilmore Girls.  The show began in the year 2000 and I am pretty sure we did not watch it from the beginning as we were far too involved with kids, sports and keeping our heads above water.  It was way too cool for us then.  I can guess that I/we started watching during the fall of 2003, aka the fall of our discontent.  We had two children in college and the youngest just beginning high school, TJ had moved to Houston to start his new job and I stayed behind to sell the house with Kelly who was in her first semester of high school.  It was a year of transitions.  Watching a series about a single mother and a high school aged daughter was right up our alley.  Kelly and I started a tradition that lasted all through her high school years, much to TJ's dismay, of watching Gilmore Girls together.  

While Kelly and I have nowhere near the rapid fire witty speech patterns that Lorelai and Rory shared we, or at least I hoped we, had a relationship that was similarly as close as theirs.  Even though at the time, I was a few years older than Lorelai, I related to her character in many ways.  I had always wanted to have that close relationship with my daughters, and still be able to parent them properly.  It is a fine balance not easily achieved or maintained.  

The relationship between Lorelai and her mother, Emily, was complicated.  I had a much better relationship with my mother, maybe because I did not have a child at 16 (as Lorelai did), or maybe because I was not as independent and rebellious as Lorelai or maybe because I just had a good mother!  I had a bit of trouble relating to Emily when we first began watching the show.  She just seemed to be so inflexible, snobby and manipulative. 

 

Fast forward 17 years.  Unfortunately, I am closer now to the age Emily was when the show filmed than to Lorelai.   Re-watching the show from the other side of 60 is a lot different than it was in my 40's.  While I still love the relationship between Rory and Lorelai, I found myself last night having a bit more of a sympathetic view of Emily.  I did not appreciate her perspective 17 years ago when I had no grandchildren.  Having grandchildren gives you one more layer of perspective in this world.  As a child you can only see through a child's eyes.  As a parent you have a parent's perspective and can also hopefully remember what it was like to be a child.  As a grandparent you get one more layer having parented people who are now parenting.  

No doubt when I was a child I said things like, "When I have kid I will never make them __________."  Inevitably I had to eat some of those words when I had my own children.  There are also things I said as a parent or parent-to-be to the tune of, "My kids will never do that!"  and as we all know those are some of the most frequently eaten words of parents!  Parenting is a humbling job.  I just never gave Emily Gilmore much love all those years ago.  Last night, after 6...episodes, I saw her in a different light.  Let me share one of the "aha" moments.

Rory has to choose a sport at her new fancy private high school.  Emily suggests she go learn to golf with her grandfather at "the club" in an effort to learn a sport and broaden her horizons a bit.  "The Club" is a place Lorelai detests and sees as a place representing her parents rich, snobby existence and a place she never fit in or wanted to fit into.  Rory is open to the activity and so she and her grandfather go on their outing.  They have meaningful conversations, she enjoys the beauty of the outdoors, she eventually manages to hit the golf ball and so begins a very nice relationship between she and her grandfather.  Lorelai just does not "get it", feels a bit left out and also hates to admit that maybe her mother was right about something.  She eventually realizes just because she hated golf and "the club" and all it represented did not mean that her daughter would feel the same way.  

The episode made me think about how when we are younger, we (maybe just me) tend to discount ideas of older people/our parents as passe' or out of step with current thinking and how maybe they knew more than we gave them credit for.  Aside from feeling a bit more sympathetic to Emily (who is still no saint, but who is?), I realized my point of reference has shifted.  Much to my dismay I am no longer the fit, cute, energetic, young, fun mother.  I am the softer, slower, older, hopefully still fun daughter, mother and grandmother with a broader perspective.  Thank you Gilmore Girls!

 

What's That Smell? Oh, It's Yellowstone!

 Yellowstone was the first National Park in the United States.  That alone makes it worthy of a visit.  The fact that the north entrance is about 80 miles from Bozeman, MT and was very much on our way to Park City, UT made it a no-brainer to visit.  We could have easily spent several days exploring the park instead of one long day, I guess we will just have to go back.  Yellowstone is HUGE!  It is a daunting feeling to drive through the gate and have so much to see with so little time!  We had to pick and choose the highlights and even that was a hard job because there are so many highlights! We followed the road and stopped at every curious and beautiful spot we saw!

First stop....Mammoth Hot Springs

Limestone poetry in motion...or actually in solid form.

I read about all of this in the handy newspaper they give out at the gate but I still don't understand how they formed and find it amazing that they exist. Please do not give me a quiz about the science, I am only here to marvel!  They look like they were melting and then suddenly froze or if you are hungry it looks like caramel drizzle.  One other interesting thing about Yellowstone is the ever present smell of rotten eggs from hydrogen sulfide.  If there is steam wafting up into the air or something gurgling....it smells/stinks!  

The cool thing, one of the cool things, about Yellowstone is that you can stop and see something like the Mammoth Hot springs and then down the road you come across a lovely river surrounded by lush green grass and trees.  Unexpected!

One "must stop" was the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone. The sign said the lower falls was 1/4 mile away, I am not sure I believe them.  After viewing the canyon and the water falls from one viewpoint, TJ and I saw a path that lead to the lower viewpoint.  He decided to pass on the hike and go fetch our car, that we had to park quite a ways down the road.  I wanted to hike to the lower falls viewpoint.  We decided to meet at the upper parking lot at an appointed time.  I was about halfway down the path, enjoying my downhill hike when it occurred to me that the hike back up was going to be VERY steep!  I kept walking...and walking...and walking.  There were so many switchbacks!  The deeper I got the more I realized there was no way I was going to be back up to the top at the appointed hour.  Oh well.  The view was lovely!  I enjoyed it, took a few pictures, drank some water and prepared for the uphill climb.  I could look up to my end point and I must say it was a bit daunting!

The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone

The lovely water fall and if you look at the bottom left,
you can see that boardwalk to the lower falls.
Looks easy enough!

Going down! One switchback at a time.

Still going down and realizing these stairs will be a lot harder going up!

Needless to say, TJ had to wait a bit longer for my little expedition.  By now, we were both hungry!  The National Parks were all open but all of the facilities in them were not open.  This was early in our road trip so we were still novices at the whole Covid National Park touring thing.  We did do a bit of research just to make sure there would be somewhere inside the park where we could get lunch.  Lucky for us there was.  It was EMPTY...we were also very late for lunch.  We sped through, ordered something edible and grabbed a table outside (where most of the meals on this trip were consumed).  I sat and looked around and could imagine in non-Covid times this place would have been buzzing!  There would have been people everywhere, no tables to be found and long lines to get anything!  This made me a bit happy and a lot sad.  Yes, we lucked out wherever we went as far as crowds were concerned. Yellowstone was one of the most crowded parks we visited and even it seemed to be running at 30%.   On the flip side, think about all of the families who did not take that long awaited vacation and the workers who are not working because there is no one to feed or the venders that are not selling anything because there is no one to buy their goods.  For us, this was a blessing.  We were on a trip that we had not planned to take.  We were thrilled to have this park to ourselves and to not have to stand in long lines wasting time that could be spent seeing the beauty around us.  But still, it was a bit sad.

 

The lunch break was much needed, especially since there were "real" bathrooms available.  National park bathrooms are a whole other blog post...suffice it to say indoor plumbing is a luxury.  I had seen pictures of some turquoise pools of water and really wanted to see them.  We found the Porcelain Basin!  The color of the water was unreal and yes, it smells!  This place continued to amaze me with its many colors!

I loved the boardwalks through the basins.

Some of the science if you are into that kinda thing!

Nature's thermometer up close.

Our goal was to be at Old Faithful for the 5:30 ish "show" but soon realized it may have to be the 6:30 show.  The problem getting from one place to another in Yellowstone is that no matter how you try, you cannot resist stopping to see the view or to watch the wildlife because you never know if or when you will pass this way again.  We stopped a lot!  

We stopped for mountains

We stopped for bison

We stopped for steamy springs

We stopped for bubbling pools of stinky mud

We watched the clock and kept driving.  One thing that TJ had considered doing was riding his bike across the continental divide and down to Old Faithful.  It was a good idea...for about a minute.  As we climbed the mountain and arrived at the Continental Divide the thermometer on our car read 48 degrees.  We were not dressed for 48 degrees!  He did insist riding across the divide anyway...even if it was just for the photo op!  So...we took the bike off the rack, he rode across, posed for a few pictures, loaded the bike back onto the rack and carried on.  He had stopped about a thousand times throughout the day for me so turnabout if fair play.  

Proof!

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Old Faithful was close to where we would be exiting the park for the day.  We did not want to miss anything before we left but we also did not want to miss the big show.  As luck would have it, our day began with sunny skies but as we approached the big show it got cloudy, cold and a bit drizzly.  

But first...let's stop and look at this lovely river!

 

Look at those antlers!!

It was time for the grand finale to our day in Yellowstone... Old Faithful.  We gathered with the other people, wearing our masks, holding our umbrella and keeping our distance.  We waited.  There were a few minor eruptions to keep us  interested and on the edge of our bench.  We put on our jackets and have found that a mask also helps keep you warm.  I am very glad we got to see Old Faithful.  I am disappointed to say it does not photograph well against a gray and cloudy sky.  The video will have to do.

As soon as "the show" was over we headed out of the park.  We were only distracted by one more sight.  The Grand Prismatic Springs was on my checklist all day.  We just happened to pass right by it on our way out.  One more stop!  One more stinky walk.  One more miracle of nature.

I only wish I had a drone to see this from above!

 

We finally decided it was time to leave.  Unfortunately, so did almost everyone else in the park.  The road through Yellowstone is a two lane road.  There had been an accident a mile or two ahead and traffic was at a standstill.  It took us an hour to drive two or three miles.  After a day of taking our time, stopping at every overlook and enjoying the leisure pace of our day we were ready to be on the road only to have to sit in traffic.  If the view had been across a field at some beautiful mountains maybe I would have been in a better mood.  Nope....just trees....on both sides of the road...for three miles.  We finally got on the road and drove to Idaho Falls, Idaho.  A quick 2 hour drive.  We totally bit off more than we could chew here.  We were beat and hungry and it was late at night.  Nothing was open!  After a day of sensory overload, our dinner consisted of the complimentary frozen Stauffer's Lasagna the hotel provided and we microwaved in the room.  It left a lovely odor in the room for the night.  The glamour of life on the road was becoming a reality.  At least the wine was good.

So, just like Yellowstone this blog post is full of scenic stops and very long.  At least you can't smell it!