Have I Gone From Lorelai to Emily?

Disclaimer: If you have never watched Gilmore Girls this post may be unrelatable.  Also, if you have never watched it, you have no idea what you are missing, especially if you are a mother...or a daughter.  Maybe this will all be relatable regardless.  Carry on!

Last night after searching the vast wasteland of viewing options on television I sought refuge on my computer and resorted to a long ago and far away happy place.  I started watching Gilmore Girls from episode 1/season 1.  I can't remember the last, or even the first, time I saw the very beginning of Gilmore Girls.  The show began in the year 2000 and I am pretty sure we did not watch it from the beginning as we were far too involved with kids, sports and keeping our heads above water.  It was way too cool for us then.  I can guess that I/we started watching during the fall of 2003, aka the fall of our discontent.  We had two children in college and the youngest just beginning high school, TJ had moved to Houston to start his new job and I stayed behind to sell the house with Kelly who was in her first semester of high school.  It was a year of transitions.  Watching a series about a single mother and a high school aged daughter was right up our alley.  Kelly and I started a tradition that lasted all through her high school years, much to TJ's dismay, of watching Gilmore Girls together.  

While Kelly and I have nowhere near the rapid fire witty speech patterns that Lorelai and Rory shared we, or at least I hoped we, had a relationship that was similarly as close as theirs.  Even though at the time, I was a few years older than Lorelai, I related to her character in many ways.  I had always wanted to have that close relationship with my daughters, and still be able to parent them properly.  It is a fine balance not easily achieved or maintained.  

The relationship between Lorelai and her mother, Emily, was complicated.  I had a much better relationship with my mother, maybe because I did not have a child at 16 (as Lorelai did), or maybe because I was not as independent and rebellious as Lorelai or maybe because I just had a good mother!  I had a bit of trouble relating to Emily when we first began watching the show.  She just seemed to be so inflexible, snobby and manipulative. 

 

Fast forward 17 years.  Unfortunately, I am closer now to the age Emily was when the show filmed than to Lorelai.   Re-watching the show from the other side of 60 is a lot different than it was in my 40's.  While I still love the relationship between Rory and Lorelai, I found myself last night having a bit more of a sympathetic view of Emily.  I did not appreciate her perspective 17 years ago when I had no grandchildren.  Having grandchildren gives you one more layer of perspective in this world.  As a child you can only see through a child's eyes.  As a parent you have a parent's perspective and can also hopefully remember what it was like to be a child.  As a grandparent you get one more layer having parented people who are now parenting.  

No doubt when I was a child I said things like, "When I have kid I will never make them __________."  Inevitably I had to eat some of those words when I had my own children.  There are also things I said as a parent or parent-to-be to the tune of, "My kids will never do that!"  and as we all know those are some of the most frequently eaten words of parents!  Parenting is a humbling job.  I just never gave Emily Gilmore much love all those years ago.  Last night, after 6...episodes, I saw her in a different light.  Let me share one of the "aha" moments.

Rory has to choose a sport at her new fancy private high school.  Emily suggests she go learn to golf with her grandfather at "the club" in an effort to learn a sport and broaden her horizons a bit.  "The Club" is a place Lorelai detests and sees as a place representing her parents rich, snobby existence and a place she never fit in or wanted to fit into.  Rory is open to the activity and so she and her grandfather go on their outing.  They have meaningful conversations, she enjoys the beauty of the outdoors, she eventually manages to hit the golf ball and so begins a very nice relationship between she and her grandfather.  Lorelai just does not "get it", feels a bit left out and also hates to admit that maybe her mother was right about something.  She eventually realizes just because she hated golf and "the club" and all it represented did not mean that her daughter would feel the same way.  

The episode made me think about how when we are younger, we (maybe just me) tend to discount ideas of older people/our parents as passe' or out of step with current thinking and how maybe they knew more than we gave them credit for.  Aside from feeling a bit more sympathetic to Emily (who is still no saint, but who is?), I realized my point of reference has shifted.  Much to my dismay I am no longer the fit, cute, energetic, young, fun mother.  I am the softer, slower, older, hopefully still fun daughter, mother and grandmother with a broader perspective.  Thank you Gilmore Girls!

 

What's That Smell? Oh, It's Yellowstone!

 Yellowstone was the first National Park in the United States.  That alone makes it worthy of a visit.  The fact that the north entrance is about 80 miles from Bozeman, MT and was very much on our way to Park City, UT made it a no-brainer to visit.  We could have easily spent several days exploring the park instead of one long day, I guess we will just have to go back.  Yellowstone is HUGE!  It is a daunting feeling to drive through the gate and have so much to see with so little time!  We had to pick and choose the highlights and even that was a hard job because there are so many highlights! We followed the road and stopped at every curious and beautiful spot we saw!

First stop....Mammoth Hot Springs

Limestone poetry in motion...or actually in solid form.

I read about all of this in the handy newspaper they give out at the gate but I still don't understand how they formed and find it amazing that they exist. Please do not give me a quiz about the science, I am only here to marvel!  They look like they were melting and then suddenly froze or if you are hungry it looks like caramel drizzle.  One other interesting thing about Yellowstone is the ever present smell of rotten eggs from hydrogen sulfide.  If there is steam wafting up into the air or something gurgling....it smells/stinks!  

The cool thing, one of the cool things, about Yellowstone is that you can stop and see something like the Mammoth Hot springs and then down the road you come across a lovely river surrounded by lush green grass and trees.  Unexpected!

One "must stop" was the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone. The sign said the lower falls was 1/4 mile away, I am not sure I believe them.  After viewing the canyon and the water falls from one viewpoint, TJ and I saw a path that lead to the lower viewpoint.  He decided to pass on the hike and go fetch our car, that we had to park quite a ways down the road.  I wanted to hike to the lower falls viewpoint.  We decided to meet at the upper parking lot at an appointed time.  I was about halfway down the path, enjoying my downhill hike when it occurred to me that the hike back up was going to be VERY steep!  I kept walking...and walking...and walking.  There were so many switchbacks!  The deeper I got the more I realized there was no way I was going to be back up to the top at the appointed hour.  Oh well.  The view was lovely!  I enjoyed it, took a few pictures, drank some water and prepared for the uphill climb.  I could look up to my end point and I must say it was a bit daunting!

The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone

The lovely water fall and if you look at the bottom left,
you can see that boardwalk to the lower falls.
Looks easy enough!

Going down! One switchback at a time.

Still going down and realizing these stairs will be a lot harder going up!

Needless to say, TJ had to wait a bit longer for my little expedition.  By now, we were both hungry!  The National Parks were all open but all of the facilities in them were not open.  This was early in our road trip so we were still novices at the whole Covid National Park touring thing.  We did do a bit of research just to make sure there would be somewhere inside the park where we could get lunch.  Lucky for us there was.  It was EMPTY...we were also very late for lunch.  We sped through, ordered something edible and grabbed a table outside (where most of the meals on this trip were consumed).  I sat and looked around and could imagine in non-Covid times this place would have been buzzing!  There would have been people everywhere, no tables to be found and long lines to get anything!  This made me a bit happy and a lot sad.  Yes, we lucked out wherever we went as far as crowds were concerned. Yellowstone was one of the most crowded parks we visited and even it seemed to be running at 30%.   On the flip side, think about all of the families who did not take that long awaited vacation and the workers who are not working because there is no one to feed or the venders that are not selling anything because there is no one to buy their goods.  For us, this was a blessing.  We were on a trip that we had not planned to take.  We were thrilled to have this park to ourselves and to not have to stand in long lines wasting time that could be spent seeing the beauty around us.  But still, it was a bit sad.

 

The lunch break was much needed, especially since there were "real" bathrooms available.  National park bathrooms are a whole other blog post...suffice it to say indoor plumbing is a luxury.  I had seen pictures of some turquoise pools of water and really wanted to see them.  We found the Porcelain Basin!  The color of the water was unreal and yes, it smells!  This place continued to amaze me with its many colors!

I loved the boardwalks through the basins.

Some of the science if you are into that kinda thing!

Nature's thermometer up close.

Our goal was to be at Old Faithful for the 5:30 ish "show" but soon realized it may have to be the 6:30 show.  The problem getting from one place to another in Yellowstone is that no matter how you try, you cannot resist stopping to see the view or to watch the wildlife because you never know if or when you will pass this way again.  We stopped a lot!  

We stopped for mountains

We stopped for bison

We stopped for steamy springs

We stopped for bubbling pools of stinky mud

We watched the clock and kept driving.  One thing that TJ had considered doing was riding his bike across the continental divide and down to Old Faithful.  It was a good idea...for about a minute.  As we climbed the mountain and arrived at the Continental Divide the thermometer on our car read 48 degrees.  We were not dressed for 48 degrees!  He did insist riding across the divide anyway...even if it was just for the photo op!  So...we took the bike off the rack, he rode across, posed for a few pictures, loaded the bike back onto the rack and carried on.  He had stopped about a thousand times throughout the day for me so turnabout if fair play.  

Proof!

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Old Faithful was close to where we would be exiting the park for the day.  We did not want to miss anything before we left but we also did not want to miss the big show.  As luck would have it, our day began with sunny skies but as we approached the big show it got cloudy, cold and a bit drizzly.  

But first...let's stop and look at this lovely river!

 

Look at those antlers!!

It was time for the grand finale to our day in Yellowstone... Old Faithful.  We gathered with the other people, wearing our masks, holding our umbrella and keeping our distance.  We waited.  There were a few minor eruptions to keep us  interested and on the edge of our bench.  We put on our jackets and have found that a mask also helps keep you warm.  I am very glad we got to see Old Faithful.  I am disappointed to say it does not photograph well against a gray and cloudy sky.  The video will have to do.

As soon as "the show" was over we headed out of the park.  We were only distracted by one more sight.  The Grand Prismatic Springs was on my checklist all day.  We just happened to pass right by it on our way out.  One more stop!  One more stinky walk.  One more miracle of nature.

I only wish I had a drone to see this from above!

 

We finally decided it was time to leave.  Unfortunately, so did almost everyone else in the park.  The road through Yellowstone is a two lane road.  There had been an accident a mile or two ahead and traffic was at a standstill.  It took us an hour to drive two or three miles.  After a day of taking our time, stopping at every overlook and enjoying the leisure pace of our day we were ready to be on the road only to have to sit in traffic.  If the view had been across a field at some beautiful mountains maybe I would have been in a better mood.  Nope....just trees....on both sides of the road...for three miles.  We finally got on the road and drove to Idaho Falls, Idaho.  A quick 2 hour drive.  We totally bit off more than we could chew here.  We were beat and hungry and it was late at night.  Nothing was open!  After a day of sensory overload, our dinner consisted of the complimentary frozen Stauffer's Lasagna the hotel provided and we microwaved in the room.  It left a lovely odor in the room for the night.  The glamour of life on the road was becoming a reality.  At least the wine was good.

So, just like Yellowstone this blog post is full of scenic stops and very long.  At least you can't smell it!

Long Lost Friends under the Big Sky

Until July, I had never been to Montana.  We have friends, Hilarie and Craig, who have lived there for at least 22 years and every year in their annual Christmas card they have invited us to visit, and every year we have said, "some day".  Well, that day came!  We knew once we began this road trip that Montana had to be on the list!  We contacted our friends, whom we have not seen in over 25 years, and said, "remember that invitation to visit?  Is it still open?"  and they replied with an emphatic, "yes!".  We were going to Montana!

Montana is beautiful and the Big Sky moniker is appropriate!  Driving from South Dakota into Montana and all the way to Bozeman is a mesmerizing drive along I-90.  It still amuses me that after spending most of my life living along the I-10 corridor that I am seeing its northern, less populated, more beautiful (in my opinion) equivalent up close and personal.  I continue to be amazed at the vast amount of land in our country and its varied landscapes.  We have also been blessed with abundant blue skies as a backdrop.  As a person who would rather sit in a crowded, germ infested airplane than take a long road trip, this venture has certainly surprised me.  Yes, there have been days that I feel road weary and my backside is numb from all of the sitting but on a whole the beauty outside the windshield has completely distracted me!

Beautiful windshield time

I can't tell you how many times we have said, "how far do you think that is?"
Heading to the mountains!

If you have not seen someone in over 20 years there is bound to be a bit of  uncertainty heading into a visit.  How have they changed...how have we changed, will this be awkward...will we still like each other?  Hilarie and I met back in college before we even knew our current spouses.  We worked together at a department store in Baton Rouge.  When we met our husbands-to-be, they also became friends and the rest is history.  You know those cute quotes that say a real friend is one you can go ages without seeing and pick up like it was yesterday?  It is true!  We were all back in our 20's, fresh out of college and newly married again!  I sat in amazement, they had not changed and I am sure neither have we.  I thought to myself, " Wow!  Our 20 year old selves sure did have good taste when it came to making friends".  After the obligatory catching up on our kids, careers, moves, parents, and siblings we relived old memories and made a few new ones.  We have promised not to wait another 20 years before we see each other again.

As luck would have it Bozeman, MT also happens to be the home of Marathon Girl and her family.  She recently had her 3rd child and her parents, our very good friends, Bob and Donna, of anniversary trip fame, were there to help with the growing family.  We were able to meet the new little baby boy, share some delicious pizza (outside and from a "safe" distance) and see where the Marathon family lives.  They have a great house with that big Montana sky as a backdrop.  

Getting 5 people to look in one direction and smile at the same time
proved to be a challenge but still pretty cute with a little help!

One special night in Bozeman was spent having dinner at Hilarie and Craig's house with Bob and Donna as special guests.  The night proved that we definitely have great taste in friends!  Aside from the good food and the stunning big sky, the company was the best!  We sat outside, ate, drank, shared stories of times spent together, marveled at the sky and laughed until it was too late.  It turns out all three couples were married in 1978 within 7 weeks of each other.  We are all still married!  The summer of '78 was a good year for marriage.  I hope you too are able to make lasting friendships like these, they are priceless.  

And be careful about inviting us to visit....we may just take you up on it!

Some of the many colors of the Big Sky 
taken in our friend's back yard!

Socially distant photo

Not so distant photo...we held our breath!

We watched a storm come and go!

I think we found the pot of gold here.

Rushmore and Custer

 Way back in July, I left you in Rapid City, South Dakota.  Another place that pleasantly surprised me.  We drove in very late to a historic hotel in the middle of town.  What a cute, quaint downtown.  The hotel was the Alex Johnson and it was old, classic, historic and therefore also had small, old rooms with lots of charm.  We managed 2 nights there.  We "stored" our bikes with the desk and hoped they would still be there upon checkout and they were.  The other highlight, while I'm apparently doing a hotel review, was the rooftop restaurant and bar.  I had told TJ that one place we would not be going on this Covid trip was to any bar.  I was lured by sunset and the fact that it was a rooftop bar...outdoors.  We claimed our table in the corner of the patio and stayed for a drink and the sunset and it was lovely.  If you ever find yourself in Rapid City, SD, stay at the Alex Johnson.

Goodnight Rapid City

Rapid City is the launching grounds for what was an iconic American West day.  We began with Mount Rushmore....something I have always wanted to see.  It was as awesome as I expected!  What a marvel.  We counted our blessings as we drove right into the parking lot and walked a short distance right up to the main entrance stopping at the state flags of Louisiana, Wisconsin and Texas for our family members.  It is bigger and brighter than I even dreamed it would be.  So impressive!  We were able to sit and just look for a while and then we followed a path around the base which gave us views of each face from its best angle.  I am sure my photos do not do it justice but never the less, I took about a hundred.  What a huge endeavor!

"I see it!"  Getting closer!

Up close and personal with Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln.

And from the other side.

A little background information for those who are interested, like me.

We came, we saw, and we continued on to Custer State Park.  Back and forth, up and down through one of the most lovely state parks I've seen.  Custer was steep, full of switchbacks, one lane tunnels and a few bison.  Custer State Park was like the icing on the cake.  It was beautiful and full of adventure!  I knew nothing of it before our trip but we visited at the recommendation of our daughter, Rachel who said it was one of her favorites.  I must agree!

Driving through one of the natural bridges this was the view!

Wildlife traffic jam

Yes, that is my inspection sticker on my windshield looking at that beast!

The wonders of Custer State Park

I love this park!

Drive through, Custer State Park style

Waiting in line for the drive through

It even has a water feature!

Back in Rapid City, we had dinner with President Reagan, none of us wore a mask 
but we are pretty sure we didn't infect each other.

One other cool feature in Rapid City is they have a statue for each president in their own unique poses, just like the one above, all through the downtown area.  It is definitely a presidential hot spot!  We sure have seen a lot of presidents on this trip so far!  Love 'em or hate 'em, there have only been 45 of them in over 230 years.  It seems a perfect year to visit some of them and put history in perspective in this election year.  

Plan B is Pretty Good so Far

When it became very obvious that summer in Nova Scotia was not going to happen this year, TJ and I began making Plan B.  There have always been parts of the U.S. we have wanted to see but never put forth the effort to see.  If I think about it carefully, I have been to all but 7 states.  Those states, other than Alaska, are concentrated in the north central west part of the states.  There are places we needed/wanted to experience.  Also, thanks to some friends, or friends of my kids, the National Parks suddenly seem like places I need to see before it gets too late, if you know what I mean.  Plan B was shaping up nicely.  We figured since we were so far north visiting our kids and grand kids in Wisconsin, why not continue the road trip and visit a few new states, national parks and long lost friends while avoiding summer in Houston.  All plans, of course, with appropriate care and caution to keep our social distance and stay healthy.  Never in our wildest dreams did we expect to visit these places for the reasons we ended up visiting them.  Thank you Covid for making us think outside of the box and allowing us to experience some of the most breathtaking spaces in our country.

Badlands National Park

We left Madison, Wisconsin and the grand kids and headed west on July 20th.  We drove to Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  To get to Sioux Falls we had to drive through Minnesota which checked off a new state for me.  We crossed the Mississippi River up north which I found interesting having been raised only miles from it in the state of Louisiana.  It is a mighty river for sure. 

The mighty Mississippi, welcome to Minnesota

We continued on to Sioux Falls and were pleasantly surprised.  It was only an overnight stop but we managed a lovely dinner and a post dinner walk to see "the falls".  South Dakota so far is winning me over with its beauty.  Driving long distances lost its allure to me many moons ago after 40 something drives to and from Nova Scotia.  I am totally over long distance driving, so the fact that I was more than willing to take on this adventure was proof enough that desperate times require desperate measures.  Funny thing though, driving through new places that just happen to be beautiful did not feel as mind numbing as the 40 something drives over the same highways through the same states year after year.  Thank you Covid.

Downtown Sioux Falls

"The" Falls

Our minds are not numb yet!

 The next morning we headed to a rest stop of all places!  I had read about this sculpture of a Native American woman and just had to see it for myself.  The name of the sculpture is Dignity.  It is magnificent!  She stands 50 feet tall and is framed by the Missouri River in the background.  The rest stop is also one of the stops for Lewis and Clark on their westward expedition.  I felt like I was walking on history.  Best rest stop EVER!

She is magnificant!

A sacred stop and well worth the trip.

This was not mind numbing at all!  Look at how blue the sky is....
how green the grass is....
how straight the road is....you can see forever!

Our goal for the day was Badlands National Park.  We/I wanted to arrive with plenty of time to see the park and then take a break for dinner and go back for sunset.  I am very lucky to have a willing co-pilot!  He is the best partner a wanna-be photographer could have on a road trip.  If I want to stop for a photo, he pulls over and off we go.  If I want to break for dinner and go back to the park and sit and wait for sunset, he is more than willing.  There are not many people who would do that.  We stopped a lot of times in the Badlands!  The park was surreal!  What an amazing geologic phenomena.  I could sit and look in wonder for hours.  How does a place like this just pop up after miles of green grass and flat land?  We stopped, we hiked, I took lots of photos and we sat with our mouths wide open in awe.  South Dakota for the win!

I go out on the edge and he documents it.

Lifetime Senior National Park pass.
Totally worth admitting I am 63.

Yellow Mounds

Everywhere you look the colors and formations amaze.

Jagged and smooth

Wall Drug...the "See Rock City" of the west!

I wish I knew this family so I could send them this great 
photo of their picnic dinner.  I love it!

Thank you TJ for partaking of the golden hour with me!

Not spectacular but still memorable.

We left after sunset and drove another hour to Rapid City, South Dakota.  Yes, we were tired.  It was a day full of visual delight.  If you ever think of going to see the Badlands, do not hesitate.  I still look back and thank God for the opportunity to see such an incredible place.  I can only imagine what the native Americans thought when they came upon that "land bad".  What do you do with such a place but sit in awe?  It was the first time we got to use my National Park lifetime pass and I already felt like I got my money's worth.  

Last night, coincidentally, we watched a PBS show about the National Parks narrated by Ken Burns.  I highly recommend it.  I had tears in my eyes by the end because the beauty that has been preserved by the National Park system is a national treasure worth saving.  Having only seen a small portion of the parks I look forward to another and another.  After only two days of our westward adventure, I can say I am so glad we took a leap and did this.  I will take a break here in Rapid City, South Dakota because it deserves its own post to be written on another day.  Stay tuned.