Hindsight is 20/20

I remember back in 1985 when my husband bought our (his) first VHS! video camera.  It was about the size of a current microwave oven and probably heavier!  It was not coincidental that this purchase was made the same year our only son was born.  His birth was the main impetus for this purchase but also playing into the decision were the "advancement" of the technology and the balance in our checkbook.  Suffice it to say, once TJ had the video camera, all we saw for what seemed to be years was him following us around with a small microwave oven on his shoulder pointed in our general direction.  We enjoyed watching the videos over the years and the kids loved laughing at themselves on TV.

 We recorded many special family moments along with some regular days and then the random "black screen with sound" that happened when TJ would forget to take the lens cap off and leave the camera on....those are particularly exciting.  Technology has come a long way and at some point we no longer had the ability to view our old VHS tapes so we tediously converted some of them to DVDs.  This conversion process provided us with hours of entertainment combined with a few moments of 20/20 hindsight.

One of the most glaring moments was the day after our youngest child was born.  We have a video of me and the new baby just home from the hospital when the older three children are meeting their new sister.  Daddy is recording the whole thing.  New mommy is gently sitting on the sofa while daughter number two is holding the baby and daughter number one is petting the baby's head.  Both girls are looking sweetly at their new sister and new mommy is watching attentively to make sure the baby is held properly.  In the background the only sound that can be heard is the voice of a little 3 1/2 year old boy saying, "Hey Dad....look at me, look at me!"....over and over and over!  I'll let you process this scene.

I am sure in the "moment"  I had no idea how displaced that little 3 1/2 year old boy was feeling.  Think about it...I just had a baby the day before!  What the heck was I doing home so soon anyway???  Secondly, I was coming home to three other children and a husband who relied heavily on me.  I was probably thinking, "Can I just go to bed for a while and rest?" or "HELP!" or " can you get him off the arm of the sofa and tell him to be quiet?".   

In hindsight, that little boy had been the focus...along with his sisters, of that video camera for the last three years.  He was used to doing flips on the sofa and having them be video worthy.  He could do almost anything and it would have been video worthy.  Suddenly this little baby comes in and steals his limelight.  It took me a while to catch on to this at the time, but boy it was glaringly obvious watching the video.  Hindsight...

There are several more videos in the following weeks that are focused on the newborn baby and they all include shots of a little boy balancing on the sofa arm, rocking on a bar stool, standing on one leg, jumping on the little trampoline or just running around in circles and always in the background you can hear, "Hey Dad....look at me!".   

I watch these videos now and wonder what other things did I miss because I was either not paying attention, busy putting out another fire, totally unaware of, or just too exhausted to notice?  My kids can probably shed more light than I'd like on this.  They can write about it in their books!

One more funny video I'll have to share, because it really gives some perspective on how crazy a house is with four children at times and how it can lead to bad decisions.  Picture this....Dad is taking a video of little baby girl who is lying on the kitchen counter.  The baby is crying.  The 3 1/2 year old brother is kneeling on a chair next to the counter in front of the crying baby with one arm on either side of the baby...I assume to keep her from falling to the ground when she rolls over for the first time!  Dad pans over to the kitchen sink and a pile of clean dishes and says "my accomplishment for the night". I think to myself ... "Wait!  You aren't watching the baby!  Go back to the baby!"  He goes back to the baby who is still crying and the little boy has a very worried look on his face...because the baby is lying on the counter and she's crying!  Dad tells him to talk to the baby.  Dad then pans the video to one of the older sisters who walks into the room.  Again I think...."THE BABY!!"  Whew, back to the crying baby still safe on the kitchen counter!  Sometime during the video Dad reveals that Mom is out taking a walk.  I think to myself, "I would have never left the house if I knew what was happening while I was out."  I guess what I never knew.. never hurt me...or the children apparently.   

I'm glad we took all those videos.  I hope my children can look back fondly on their childhoods and know that even though we may not have had 20/20 vision back then, we had 20/20 intentions.

Finding My Voice

Today as I read my favorite blogs I experienced a little blog envy. I only read a couple of other blogs regularly.  They are both moms and are younger than I.  They both have a sharp wit and  I love that about them!   I was wishing I had their voice.  This lead me to wonder... what is my voice?  Finding a voice was actually one of the key points made in the writing class I took last year.  I think I am sometimes serious, sometimes funny, sometimes reflective and sometimes spiritual, often sarcastic. I've been told I remind people of Erma Bombeck....a huge compliment in my book.  I loved her!  She had a way of saying things that were so true in a way that was humorous. For instance, one of her quotes on raising children, " I take a very practical view of raising children.  I put a sign in each of their rooms 'check out time is 18 years' "....gotta love that woman!  Another gem, " God created man, but I could do better.".  Alas, I am not Erma!

Another voice I enjoy, and don't groan when you read this, is Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and The City.  I could not watch the show when it first came out.  I wasn't old enough...I was only in my early 40's,  and we did not have HBO.  I only started watching it when the watered down version showed up on TBS.  I was actually somewhat shocked when I saw an uncensored version, especially when I realized my daughters had been watching it for years.  Carrie's life was light years away from mine.  My 20's and 30's were not spent in New York City, wearing designer clothes, working on my career and sleeping around looking for love in all the wrong places.  Nope, I was firmly planted in suburbia raising children, making a career as a room parent- carpool expert-high school sports fan, and believe me... there was nothing designer in my life!  At least I had found love!  Even though we had (and still have) nothing in common, I always enjoyed Carrie's narration of each episode.  I liked her "voice".

This is what Erma would have to say about the fashions in Sex and the City!

I guess this puts me somewhere between Erma Bombeck and Carrie Bradshaw.  Sex and the Suburbs?
No one is buying that one!

Back to School

Have you been to any of your high school reunions?  I went to my 10th and 15th reunions and enjoyed both.  I seem to remember my 10th was a bit of a challenge for me because I had just given birth to my 3rd child...and I mean "just" as in he was a month to six weeks old.  I lasted about an hour or two at the reunion and let my husband (who knew as many people at my reunion as I did) stay while I went home to my new baby.  Yup, I sported that awesome post baby belly to my 10th reunion...not the impression every girl wants to make to the classmates she hasn't seen in years.   The 15th was a lot more fun...no newborn baby to distract me from all the reuniting.  It's been a long time since those reunions!

Last weekend, we attended my husband's 40th! class reunion in White Plains, NY.  Where did the time go?  He was intent on attending and since it was October in the northeast I was happy to leave the land of no fall  for a place bound to have a little fall color and friendlier temperatures.  I'll admit it....I was not totally psyched about the reunion part.  He went to an all boys Catholic high school.  I know about 3 of the guys he went to school with and two of them were not even going to be there.  I'm a good team player though so I went to the reunion.

the hallowed halls.....

After going to his reunion, I really hope my class has a 40th reunion!  I never expected to see so many men so happy to see each other!  The weekend was filled with honest enthusiasm and a true appreciation to see so many of their classmates and to visit the hallowed halls of their high school.  There was the usual catching up and more than one walk down memory lane. It made me think this is probably the best time in life to reunite with high school friends.  The way I see it is, we are old enough to have a real perspective on this life and still young enough to enjoy a weekend of partying.  Most of us have raised our families and are comfortable in our careers and some of us are even retired.  We are able to look past all the stereotypes we held onto in high school and just be who we are and appreciate others for who they are.  I think after living in our own skin for 50+ years most of us are finally comfortable being ourselves.  We have lived through being teenagers and raising teenagers!  Life looks a lot different from this side doesn't it?

So...if you have a chance to go to your high school reunion...or your loved one's reunion, go!  You will feel young....and old all at the same time.

Hello? Fall?

Hello? Fall... it's me, Lisa.  Remember me?  We've met before.  There were a few years when we were really good friends, back when I lived in Toronto. Where are you?  The calendar says you should have arrived by now.  I left you in Nova Scotia a couple of weeks ago and I thought you would be on your way down here by now.  I know it takes you a little longer to get down here but what is taking so long?  Your stubborn sister season, Summer, is wearing out her welcome.  She is still really hot, I thought she'd let up on us by now....but noooo. She decided she would add a lot of humidity because heat feels so much more miserable with a lot of humidity. I am beginning to think she is never going to leave. I need your help!

I promise to plant your favorite flowers when you get here.  You know...the cute purple and yellow ones?  I know they are your favorite colors. The leaves on some of the trees think you are here already because they are starting to drop their leaves.  The squirrels are getting ready for your arrival, they are hunting and gathering like you are right around the corner.  I have to believe they know what they are doing. The stores in town are ready for you too!  There are boots in the shoe stores and sweaters in the clothing stores.  The only problem is that we still need to wear tank tops and flip flops.  I love Fall clothes and I can't wait to comfortably wear my jeans and boots.  Send me some cool days and nights so I can finally put away my tired summer wardrobe.

Fall, I'll bet you are economically minded aren't you?  Just think of all the electricity you can save us by cooling off the south.  Being green is very important, help us be green by letting us open our windows and turn off our air conditioners.  The world will be a better place if you just get a little more aggressive and blow through sister Summer.  You can do it!  Stop being such a wimp!  Don't let that huge body of water, the Gulf of Mexico, keep bullying you back up north.  Push your way down here....for the environment!

I am looking forward to visiting you this weekend in New York state.  I sure would love it if you would jump into my suitcase and come home with me!  Think about it.

Your Sweaty friend,
Lisa

Retail Therapy?!

Yesterday I found myself with a few hours to spare and in the general vicinity of the Houston Galleria.  I decided to treat myself to a little retail therapy after my long hiatus from shopping.  I don't get to the Galleria very often, it is not near my house and the traffic surrounding the mall is insane!  Anyway, I braved the traffic and the snooty people and tourists who usually shop there and headed into the retail mecca.

Since my daughter is getting married in seven months I figured I would start the job of finding that elusive mother-of-the-bride dress.  You know the one.... not too matronly, not too risque, not too big, not too small, not too bright, not too drab, not too cheap, not too expensive, the dress that makes you look like a million bucks but doesn't cost a million bucks....you know...the perfect dress!   They should have dresses I would not normally find in suburbia, right?  I ended up at one of the high end department stores that begins with "N" in their bridal/formal department.  I am sure I looked a bit like a deer in the headlights.  So many pretty dresses!  I began my search and noticed when I picked up my normal size dress they looked a bit small.  I would hold the dress up to my body and think, "there is now way this is going to fit!".  I chose about 20 dresses in "my" size and the next size up, because they really did look a bit small to me. Apparently in the designer section, size 6 is the new size 2 and size 12 is the new size 6!  Who are these dresses made for?!  When I say they were small I mean...tiny!  I am not a tiny person but I am not a Neanderthal either!  Keep your opinions to yourself here.

I know we are not supposed to worry about the number, just the fit.  But seriously?  I was forced into choosing sizes I have never brought into a dressing room before. I don't remember gaining ten pounds over the summer. I want to see the skeleton who fits into their size 0....of which there were at least four on the rack in each dress style...because 8 year olds do not shop in this department!  There were very few Neanderthal size dresses available...possibly because they had all been bought up by all the normal size women.

I left my retail therapy session needing some serious mental therapy, my ego had taken a huge blow. At this rate it will take me every one of the seven months between now and the wedding to find a dress.  I'm going on a diet....tomorrow!

Here and There

I'm finally home.  The home that I live in for 9 months a year.  I got my welcome home gift when my 3 month old computer sat on my kitchen table, started clicking like a cricket and then rolled over and died.  Just died, "no operating system found".  The great Geek Squad diagnosed a dead hard drive, so she has been sent away for warranty repairs.  Along with her went lots of pictures and my ability to surf and write with ease.  I am now using a rejected work computer of TJ's.  I can totally see why it was rejected.  Like using an iPhone 2 instead of the new iPhone 5c, not that I'd know anything about iPhones, but apparently lots of people out there are addicted.  I'm so uncool!  So, I'll have to rely on my wit and writing skills to bring this post to life, no pictures.

It's time for a few here and there comparisons, because who doesn't get home from any trip and compare life at home to life....away?

Here, I can drive 2 miles and play golf with any number of friends...or my husband, in the comfort of a golf cart in the sweltering heat.
There, I drive 25 miles to play golf with some good friends...and my husband, walking and pushing my golf bag on a cart in the velvet air while I'm sure I must be burning hundreds of ill gotten calories.

Here, I have an awesome bathroom.  It is very large with walk-in closets and a shower that has amazing water pressure and a floor big enough to do those morning or evening exercises that keep old people in shape, or at least able to move the next day.
There, I have an awesome bathroom...by farmhouse/cottage standards.  I have an awesome shower with slightly more than a trickle of water pressure.  Washing this mop of hair is a challenge unless you have fire hose pressure coming out of the shower head.  I do have a view out of my bathroom window that is unmatched!

Here, I can get a pedicure any time I want at any number of salons for cheap!
There, I go 3 months without a pedicure....my poor feet!

Here, I have to buy my vegetables at the grocery store...and they taste like nothing.  I hope they have some nutritional value.
There, all I have to do is walk outside and I have my choice of delicious, nutritious vegetables in mass quantities.

Here, I drive on the roads with thousands of other people, all in a hurry to get somewhere important.
There, I drive with a few other people on the road in no big hurry to get anywhere.

Here, I have to walk my dog on a leash if I want her to get any exercise and not get run over by a car.
There, all I have to do is open the back door if I want my dog to get exercise.

Here, I can watch any of over 600 channels of television....and still sometimes there is nothing to watch.
There, if I want to watch a TV program I have to wait until the next day and watch it on my computer with variable feed success.

Here, I walk the same roads day after day and no one talks to me...some people wave which is nice.  I've been walking the same roads for over 3 years now and know a handful of people on my path.
There, I walk the same road day after day and can barely go 5 minutes without seeing someone I know or stopping for a visit.

Here, I sometimes find myself getting bored and have to figure out ways to fill time.
There, I don't think I've ever been bored...maybe once...why is that?

Here, I can go shopping any time I want!
There, not so much.

Here, we eat out at restaurants two or three times a week.
There, we have people over to eat two or three times a week and go to someone else's house to eat two or three times a week.  No restaurants!

Here, I sweat more than humanly possible between June and October.
There, I sweat a little in July.

Here, I love my house.
There, I love my house.

Here, I am close to some family and very far from other family.
There, I am close to some family and very far from other family.

Here, I feel like I belong.
There, I feel like I belong.

I could go on for much longer but you get the picture.  There is something to love about both places, the things are just different.  I enjoy being here or there!

We Bought A Farm....house

Seven years ago we bought a dream or a nightmare depending on your perspective.  We were younger then and we both had plenty of energy.  Many said it was a foolish purchase.  Some said we should tear it down and start fresh.  They may have been right...but we did not listen.  We thought we had found a diamond in the rough... it was definitely rough!

Our dream house!  Circa 2007

I had always wanted to buy an old fixer upper and fix it up.  I had no idea what renovating involved but in my mind it was going to be a creative, fun process.  That would be the upside... watching the bank balance constantly spiral downward would be one of the downsides.  All the job would take was a good imagination, time, money, energy, patience and a few good men.  Not to mention a strong back and good knees, which we both had seven years ago....not so much these days!

One of the first things on the list was to properly insulate the house, put in new windows and put up vinyl siding  (there is no way we were ever going to paint this place!).  We have met many people who lived in this house throughout the years and their one consistent comment was that the house was always freezing.  The lack of insulation and good windows may explain.  Who insulated 150 years ago?  We are such wimps!

The same dream house, circa 2013!

We took on the project with the understanding that we would take as long as we needed in order to be able to afford to do the job right.  We figured we were somewhere between a five and ten year plan.  This is where the patience comes into play.  Imagination came into play way back in 2007 when we walked into the house for the first time.  It was nothing short of a total disaster!  The kitchen alone would have sent weaker souls running for the hills!

A stove and some firewood, that's it!  No sink, no counters or cabinets!

After completely gutting the house, the kitchen was one of the first projects along with the upstairs bathroom.  They were also two of the most dramatic changes.  We have our priorities....we wanted to be able to cook and use the bathroom!   After the kitchen, the bathroom was probably the ugliest room in the house.  It was a mish-mash of colors and textures!  I am sure every part of it was bought "on the cheap".  You be the judge.

Gotta love pink and green!

Maybe we could have kept the pink tub and toilet but instead we went with neutral colors.  The pink toilet still  lives though, next to our back porch as a flower pot!  We will never forget where we started!

The best view in the house is out of this window!

Hard to believe this is the same room!  We love our kitchen!

Renovations are such a leap of faith!  Choosing cabinet color, counter top, flooring, and paint color are somewhat daunting choices.  There are so many choices and then will they look good together?  Sometimes you just have to make your best decision and then throw it out there and take that leap of faith.  There are detail decisions too, drawer pulls, light fixtures, and molding.  They say the devil is in the details...they could be right!

Once the bathroom and kitchen were finished or at least well under way, we needed someplace to sleep!  The walls in the entire house had been torn down and we were down to the bare studs.  Turns out walls are easier than kitchens and bathrooms!  Our awesome contractor put up the walls and the ceilings all we had to do was paint them...all of them!

Wearing these clothes....

either standing on these lovely retro chairs or between them on a very long and heavy piece of wood...
my homemade scaffolding!

May 2009!  I also wore these yesterday....
 September 2013, they have served me well!

This summer I have been very motivated to "finish" the farmhouse.  The main motivator is that our family, all 12 of us, will be spending Christmas here this year.  I want the place to be as livable as it possibly can by then.  So, instead of packing and cleaning today, I am working on this post.  (I'll  do anything to avoid packing and cleaning!)  This is mostly for me to prove to myself how far we have come and that it will be very livable in December.  Looking back through the years, we have come a long way!

So....a little tour of before and after!  Finally!

Dining room and den....before

After.... still need to get those beams covered.

Master bedroom- before

After

Another view

Guest room-  before

Guest room-same wall-after

Retro room - before

Retro room - after

Another bedroom - before

And after

The floors....before!

And after!!!

Last, but not least.....the stairs...before

And after!!!

Yes, it was a happy day when these were finished!

And so on my last night here for the summer, I leave the farmhouse in a much better state than when we arrived back in June.  The big difference this year is that when I leave I don't expect to come back to any major changes or any massive dust producing renovations that require me to clean up after and then paint.  I finally feel like we are almost....almost....there.  The big question is, " whatever will I do next summer when I get here?".   Hahahaha!  I just crack myself up sometimes!