Spring to Summer

 It has been a month of events since I last wrote!   We attended our grandson's high school graduation in May. We celebrated our anniversary and my birthday in early June, and Father's Day and the summer solstice last weekend.   Add to this both of us finally getting to the shore for the summer and it has been a busy month!  A wonderful busy month!  

Gigi and the graduate!

The graduation, our anniversary and my birthday all made me acutely aware of ...my age.  Aware of exactly where I am on the spectrum of life, which recently is farther along on the number line chronologically than I feel mentally.  One look in a magnifying mirror quickly jolts me back to reality and I find myself wondering if I need to trade my current face cream for a jar of spackle!  Birthdays and graduating grandchildren can mess with your mind! 

There were several "moments" at our grandson's graduation that made me pause.  First, I can't say how proud we were to see him graduate from high school as the smart, athletic, kind, and social young man he is today.  It has been a few years since I attended a high school graduation.  Aside from sitting on bleachers for 2 hours, this one was very nice!  The entire weekend was one of family, friends and celebrating!  I can embrace each of these!  I had a private little pause before the graduation during the time between our arrival (early to get good seats on those bleachers) and the beginning of the ceremony.  I decided to go stand at the end of the gym. We were seated upstairs and there was an open walkway at the end with real chairs with backs, lined up for people who had mobility issues.  As the people, mostly older people, filled the seats I started thinking.  I mentally started adding up how many years it would be until my youngest grandchild (2 years old now) would graduate...and then how old I would be at that time.  Oh my!  I hoped I would be able to attend that ceremony and then stopped and thought...maybe then I will get a chair with a back.  According to my mental math, the odds are not in my favor to attend but if I play my cards right and won the gene pool, I could be there.  Such are the thoughts that run through my mind while waiting.  

Home Sweet Home for the summer

Fast forward to life at the shore which began on June 6 this year.  In Houston, summer was in full tilt!  Summer is sputtering to a start at the shore.  Cue the wet, cool, buggy weather that I usually try to avoid by taking a trip in early June.  Note to self for next year, plan a getaway in June!  Honestly, it hasn't been all bad!  We have had some perfectly lovely days sprinkled in between cool, wet stretches.  Again, in the grand scheme, all good!  Enough about the weather!  June life has been a welcome and relaxing change.  Lots of golf, or attempted golf.  Getting it in before the family arrives and I must choose between the links and the beach.  Both good choices to me!

TJ has been proving, once again, that he was born in the wrong century!  He spends his day planting and building stuff.  I get a morning report on how many seedlings have survived the night and how many of the seeds he planted have yet to pop up.  They are even wondering when the warm sunny weather will arrive.  The flowers in the yard are growing at warp speed, and I want them to slow down so I can enjoy them for the whole summer!  Those long hours of daylight provide huge results! 

Compared to home, we are both much more productive here.  It just seems to be more rewarding here for some reason.  Maybe living out in the wide-open spaces has something to do with this.  We finally (and when I say finally, I mean this has been in the works for over 8 years) finished one project.  We got a piece of wood from a friend with the intention of making a raw edge coffee table one day.  One day took a very long time!  It probably sat either in the garage or the basement most of the last 6 years. I just couldn't commit to the shape, size, legs, finish...argh!  I thought I was near completion at the end of last summer only to find out about 5 more coats of finish were necessary.  I think it was worth the wait and after trying it in 3 different rooms it landed in the sunroom and looks great!  

Not the sunroom...but a good pic of the table.

Enough dallying about.  The month is almost over, and I should get this out into the world and start searching for inspiration for a July post.  Believe me there are thoughts percolating but my professional second-guessing brain won't let me commit to sharing them yet. Insecurity breeds procrastination.  

If you don't get enough of this stuff on Insta or Facebook, here are a few more "life at the farmhouse" photos to enjoy.  Happy Summer!

Mom and Dad tree swallow guarding the nest!

One of the few lovely sunsets in June.

Sunshine brie brought over
by one of our friends for the solstice party!

The happiest plant in the garden these days!

Summer in Four Part Harmony

It has been a challenge to write the last two months because I'm not sure how or even what to say.  I have thought about it, I have journaled about it and yet I still don't have the right words.  I have considered several short posts, but who am I kidding?  I don't write short posts anymore.  I have started and even titled a couple of posts only to leave them neglected...for weeks.  Labor Day, the unofficial end to what has been an interesting summer, is now behind us.  One I will remember forever, for many different reasons and forget much of for the same reasons.  Maybe it can be explained in four sections.

Part 1

After our return from Spain, we entered what I will refer to as the Roseanne Roseannadanna part of the summer, because "It just goes to show ya, it's always something!".  Either it was the lawnmower that we had to repair not once but at least 3 times this summer for one reason or another, or you discover one missing shingle on your roof can cause a major flooding event in your attic that leaks down to the second floor through the doorways. Or you walk into your kitchen and discover your very old, very lame dishwasher is flowing all over the floor.  So, like Roseanne Roseannadanna says, "It just goes to show ya, it's always something!".  Life at the farmhouse is not all sunny skies, beautiful flowers and sunsets.

Super fun times in the attic catching rain.

How to get saturated insulation out of the attic and to the ground,
use a tarp and some creativity!

Once we said goodbye to Roseanne, we said hello to a short visit from a few rays of sunshine in the form of our daughter and her son and some actual sunshine!  This may have been the beginning of the very short "real summer" when it was hot, humid and sunny.  With my brand-new dishwasher, patched roof and operating lawnmower it felt like the tide had turned.  There were beach days, grandson smiles, lots of playing and seeing life through the eyes of a sweet two-year-old.  Little did I know these days would become the calm before the storm.  

Sweet memories!

He was "all in" on the beach!

Part 2

The day before they left, I got a phone call.  It was that phone call we all knew was coming...someday... but never want to answer.  "Mom is dying."  A few phone calls later and one frantically packed bag in hand, I was on my way to Baton Rouge.  When I arrived, Mom was being made comfortable in a hospice care facility and nearing the end of her life.  My sister, my brother and I (My other 2 sisters had seen mom the previous weekend and said what they thought might be their goodbye then.) spent time with her holding her hand, talking to her, reading to her, praying, and just being with her for the next week until she finally passed on July 26, 2023.  It was a privilege to be there with her for her final days. 

Watching someone in their final days, especially your mother, is profound.  I will venture to say, you never really know...until it is your mom.  Many of you have lost your mothers, and I sympathized with you, but I never understood so deeply what that experience was like...until it was my mom.  Knowing that there was a person in my life who loved me unconditionally was subconsciously comforting, something I knew deep down and probably took for granted many times.  Being a mother myself, I know that unconditional love because I feel it for my own children.  It is a love like no other.  Knowing she is gone brings it to light and leaves me feeling a bit lost or empty at times. She lived a good life, not without its challenges.  She believed in God, the value of hard work, marriage, family, a well-coordinated wardrobe, and dessert.  She always saw the best in us, even when we were not our best.  Her face lit up when her family visited, especially in her later years.  She was sweet and ever appreciative of the good things in her life.  

Surrounded by her wardrobe and smiling at her cottage.

She loved living in Louisiana.

In her happy place!

When I returned to the shore, I was different.  I was in the same place, with the same people I am with every summer, doing the same things, but I was not quite all here.  I am sure this is a normal experience.  Grief or some form of it?  I felt slightly detached.  Maybe due to my own exclusion or to the fact that when someone dies, other people don't always know what to say around the ones who are grieving.  I felt the same, or at least longed to feel the same, but I'm not the same.  I just muddled through this part of the summer.  

Part 3

There was then the part of the summer that was busy, active, full of family and provided me with ways to focus on other things.  I tried my best to enjoy where I was.  I have trouble doing this because I always know there is something happening somewhere else that I am missing during this part of the summer.  Yes, I am still 16 years old in some ways.  I really need to accept that when at the shore, there is always something else happening somewhere and currently we are unable to be two places at once.  My mantra has been, "enjoy where you are."  The only problem is, I was never completely where I was.  A little bit of me was missing.  

Here is a video of this wonderful, full time at the shore!

Part 4

The shore has slowed down now to a much smaller and quieter group.  The families with children have gone home for school and work and the seasonal vacationers have gone back to their "real" lives.  The colorful potted plants have been retired for the summer and the decks along the lane look starkly naked, the toys in the yards and on the beach are stored away until next year, the number of beach chairs on the beach has dwindled and the pull to sit on the beach is weakening.  We are here for a few more weeks and I have mixed feelings about this time.  Part of me embraces this time because I get to do the things I want to do and have put aside all summer.  This time is a quiet, slower paced, and less scheduled.  The weather this summer has been less than perfect...seemingly all over the continent!  We were the ones who got the very wet, cooler than normal summer weather.  As a result, I am embracing every sunny and remotely warm day like it was a newborn baby.  

Hoping there are more days like this left in our summer.

And hope to watch this show on repeat a few times!

I am taking this time to let it all sink in, all of the challenges and anxiety at the beginning of summer, the sorrow in the middle, the love of family and friends that followed and the peace and solitude of the end summer.  Will I remember everything that happened this summer?  Nope.  Will I remember one thing and how it was a turning point, yes.  Everything will go back to July 26, 2023, the day I joined so many in the world who have said that permanent earthly goodbye to both of their parents.  Now I understand.

  

The Last Week...Already!

 There are things we do up here that we never do at home!  There are things we can't do, things we don't have to do, things we don't have the opportunity to do, things we don't need to do and things we wish we could do.  Last week, as we moved probably the 12th and 13th mattresses of the summer I just had to laugh!  There would never be a 3 month period in my "real" life that I would have moved 13 mattresses!  It just happens to be the summer of the mattress!  In the farmhouse alone we have moved 6 mattresses this summer.  We have a lot of mattresses...plus the new one, which meant a bit of shuffling.  In the cottage we moved in a new one, moved the old one to another bed and moved that one to the curb.  We also helped friend(s) move 4 mattresses.  It was a 13 mattress summer!  We are all sleeping very soundly now...from moving so many mattresses!  Unfortunately, my back is paying for moving so many mattresses.  If it's not one thing, it's another!

One of many this summer.

Back home, at night, we have dinner and then usually watch tv.  We used to go out occasionally...pre 2020, then we just stayed home and watched tv or stared at some other screen.  Up here, we don't watch tv.  We go out!  We go out to other cottages and play games or just chat.  If we stay home we are busy watching the sunset, which for most of the summer comes late and lasts a long time.  Then we sit in the sunroom and talk.  Sometimes we play cribbage while watching the sunset.  Other nights, I catch up on my social media...because I don't do much of that during the day.  I have not watched a show in months!  Not complaining either, but don't ask me about anything on Netflix!  I don't know.  

Netflix North

At home, we go out to dinner at least once a week and sometimes more often.  In the two and a half months I have been up here, I have eaten dinner at a restaurant three times and had lunch out once.  I have however,  cooked A LOT!  I might cook more at home if I had a huge garden out of my backdoor that produced mass quantities of food.  Having so much produce is daunting at times.  Dinner usually consists of whatever was picked that day or whatever is giving us an over abundance.  Tonight we had stuffed peppers, because we had a lot of peppers!  I must say the garden really spoils us, when we go home and bite into produce from the store that is weeks old instead of minutes old we can't help but be very disappointed.  We also have dinner at other cottages.  Communal eating is very common up here!  When our extended families are here, in the busy part of the summer, we ate dinner with our kids and their families every night, as do many other extended families.  Once our kids and their kids leave, the cousins pass the baton for cooking and cleaning until everyone has had their turn.  This is one of the many things I love this about this place.  Maybe I should have lived in a commune.  

TJ, the great provider, in his happy place!

When was the last time you had dinner at home and then decided to just drop in on a friend or a neighbor?  At 8:30 at night.  It happens all the time up here.  I love it when people just show up to visit after dinner and I love it when we are welcomed to do the same!  I am starting to realize this is mostly a summer phenomena, as the days get shorter and the crowd is dwindling, drop-ins and drop-byes are less frequent.  The darkness seems to already be keeping us inside.  

Darkness...let's just consider darkness.  Our dark sky allows us to see so many more stars than ever possible at home.  Again, instead of tv, the night sky provides me with visual entertainment.  I have had a good time experimenting with night photography.  Although for every 10 photos I have taken, I have about one keeper, thank goodness for digital photography!  

Billions and billions of stars!

And that one in a thousand photo!

While there is so much I love about this place there is a lot I love and miss back home.  About this time every year, I watch the sun set farther and farther to the south and my inner migratory soul tells me it is time to go "home".  TJ does not have as strong a pull to home as I do and so he will continue to live his retirement dream and stay a little bit longer.  I will enjoy everything I love about this place for one more week and then this bird will fly south.  The summer was a real treat!  It was full of exactly what we love about summer up here.  We were back...and it felt right!  There were children who experienced the shore for the first time ever and I think they loved it!  To see the love of the shore passed on the yet another generation is heartwarming!  Our grandparents passed the love of this place on to our parents and them to us and we have continued the tradition and I sincerely hope some of them are the ones to pass it all on again!  

I will miss this serene view on my daily walk!

With only 3 more days up here and countless tasks to check off the "to do" list before I go, I decided to mindfully enjoy the day as much as possible.  I won't be walking along this country road with a view of the water for 9 more months, so I took an extra long walk today and soaked it all in.  I won't have those super fresh vegetables for much longer so tonight we had squash, potatoes, peas and tomatoes, all from the garden.  I won't have my favorite room in the world, my sunroom, for much longer so every time I sat down today I made sure to do it in here.  I wonder if everyone experiences this last melancholy week.  My head says to enjoy it for as long as I can but my heart already aches.  "Parting is such sweet sorrow", said some famous British chap.  How can one enjoy what they have and still feel a bit of sadness?  We say goodbye to another summer at the shore.  A summer that is now a unique part of history.  While it did feel "normal", it wasn't quite there yet.  There were still people we missed who couldn't make it up this year for one reason or another.  Seems there is always a slightly different crowd every year.  This isn't the easiest place to get to, which means everyone can't come every year.  Each year is unique in some ways and the same in many ways, which is part of its allure.  Au revoir, arrivederci, adios, so long, farewell...until we meet again.

These are a few of my favorite things....

Goodbye fresh bounty!

Goodbye beautiful flower boxes

Goodbye scenic drive from Pugwash

Goodbye cousins!

 

Goodbye sandbar walks

Goodbye perfect beach days

Goodbye farmhouse

Goodbye Canada

And Just Like That

 The last time I slept in my house alone was on June 17th.  Since then my life, and house, have been filled with one and then 3 more and then 3 more and then one more and then 3 more, until dinner on August 2nd, when we had all four kids and 5/6 grandchildren at the dinner table!  The hoops that had to be jumped through for this happen were not insignificant.  Turns out this is not an easy place to get to, especially this summer.  Beginning on August 3rd, the house started to empty slowly and steadily until a couple of weeks ago, when TJ headed to Cape Breton and I was alone in my own house for the first time in 7 1/2 weeks.  This may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but as one tired but happy Gigi, Mom and wife...I embraced this time.  My battery needed some serious recharging. 

The first time in 5 years all 4 kids have been at the shore...at the same time.
It was a brief overlap, but it happened!

Seems a theme of the summer, for my peer group, has been living life as a member of the "sandwich generation".  Many of us still have living parents, some were here this summer, but lately fewer and fewer are able to make the trip.  While I am not the caretaker of my mother, I do think about her daily and there is that constant concern...albeit from afar.  Many of my peer group have much closer and "hands on" experiences with their parents.  We also have grown kids who are married and now have families of their own.  One of the reasons we shared this special place with our families is that we hoped some day they too would share it with their children.  And now they have!  What this translates into as far as shore life is we find ourselves being pulled in many directions.  As if shore life didn't offer enough directions to be pulled in already!

One of the results of having our families here though is that for part of the summer, we are busier than a person should be...on vacation.  Of course, at this point, those of us who spend months up here can hardly be considered "on vacation".  We are just living life in a different location. (more on that subject in a later post) In the early weeks, we spend time with our friends and relatives for dinner and sit on the beach or porches at night and enjoy the quiet easy life.  Once our families arrive, we all retreat to our own family vortexes.  Our time is spent enjoying the days and nights with our kids and grandchildren.  There just aren't enough hours in the day or energy to venture too far from the immediate family, especially when you only get to be with your immediate family two or three times a year!  These are precious moments!  Still, I can't help but want to hang out with everyone on the beach!  We do have fleeting moments spent catching up with various people along the beach, but really when family is here, we are doing family time, as are all the other families.

So, when I found myself in my house, alone, with all the time I needed or wanted to go and make those outside connections, I retreated inside for a day or two instead.  I just needed to let the dust settle (sweep it all up) and first connect with myself before I connected with anyone else.  Transitions.  Sometimes they take a day or two.  Now we are back to the slower, steadier, part of the summer where hanging out with my cousins and our shore friends is routine.  The summer definitely has several stages, as I have said before.

Lately, with the sun moving slowly across the horizon and the days getting noticeably shorter I find myself wondering how it all went by so fast!  I am overwhelmingly thankful for the gift of being able to spend months up here again after one year away and last year only being here for a comparatively short time.  It feels like "normal"!  I have been able to see the many colors of the wildflowers from the purples and pinks of the lupins in June, to the hot pink flames of the fireweed in July to the white Queen Anne's Lace and now the yellow ragweed and gold wheat fields.  Summer is brief and glorious up here!  

June

July into August

July

August

August...a hint of fall is in the air by now.

The pattern of life at the shore follows the seasons.  Early summer when nature is still waking up, the population gradually grows as well.  Once July hits and summer is in full bloom, the sun shines from 5 a.m. until 10 p.m. the shore crowd grows to maximum capacity and life is crammed full.  In August, as the sun moves slowly across the horizon and daylight hours begin to shorten, people start to go back home to their real lives and the beach crowd gets older...because all the families with kids have to leave for school.  I have missed this visible transition over the last couple of years.  Seasons don't change as dramatically in the south.  Life mimicking nature makes me feel very connected...possibly one of the things I love the most about this place. 

I still have high hopes of writing more, once I find myself with hours of time to spare.  Fat chance!  The ideas are there, plenty of photos to back up those ideas too.  Inevitably doing other things and actually living the life I write about takes priority.  There will be time...someday.   For now I will just keep enjoying nature and watching the colors change.

June 2022
About as far over the water as we get to see.

July 2022, the sun is making its move to the left over the land.

August 2022
Moving farther and farther along the horizon....

One more sign of time marching on.....the garden!

June 2022 garden of possibilities

July garden is starting to pop

August garden!  We need more people to help eat!

I just love this!

And just like that, only 3 more weeks left up here.  It happens every time!  Enjoy these final few days of summer, we certainly will!

Soaking It All Up!

Oh, how I missed this!

Four short weeks ago we made it to the farmhouse in Nova Scotia.  After spending 2 summers on the road trying to avoid the heat and humidity in Houston and one hell of a pandemic, we were able to cross the Canadian border and return to our home away from home.  The second summer is almost over but the pandemic seems to live on...ugh!  After a long and slightly stressful day of travel we landed in Halifax and I could have kissed the ground.  How is it possible that after being away for 2 years, everything feels...ohhh...so familiar?!  It was like a part of me had been missing for 2 years and I am finally whole again.  This has always been my happy, peaceful, "put things in perspective for the year" place and I really need to put things in perspective.  

We were home for one week between Park City and our great Alaskan adventure before we flew to Nova Scotia.  We unpacked, did the laundry, repacked and caught up with our family at home.  We had to take our Covid test within 72 hours of our departure to Canada.  Negative results in hand, we boarded the plane for Toronto.  I told myself that I would not get excited until I was through customs and on a plane to Halifax.  We had dotted all of our i's and crossed all of our t's and made it through with the proper documentation!  Once we landed in Halifax and stepped outside I smelled the air and knew it had all been worth it!  It was a long day and it was late when we arrived at the farmhouse, but I could have stayed up all night.  We opened the door and it still smelled like the farmhouse!  Everything was exactly as I left it 2 years ago!  It felt like the earth was back on its axis.  All was right with the world.  Unbelievable!  

It was not lit up the night we arrived but it looked just as good to us!

The familiar smells, the angle of the sunlight, the colors that are so brilliant, the stars in the night sky, the sand on the beach, the smiling faces, the food, and the history all came together to form a perfect "welcome back" within days of our arrival!  I find it very interesting that after only a few days it felt just like any other summer with a slightly later start.  Life up here is so easy to slip into, even after being away for 2 years.  The routines come naturally.  I know this place like I know myself.  This year the only things missing were the garden, a few family members and maybe June and July.  We were able to reconnect with so many people we missed over the last 2 years.  It probably comes as no surprise that none of us skipped a beat.  We all have our own personal "Covid life" stories and our own experiences to share but we also have our shared love of this place and are each genuinely happy to finally be in this place together.  It really helps that the Americans who traveled here are all fully vaccinated and all tested negative before arrival and most Canadians here are also fully vaccinated.  We are living in a unique bubble and it feels so nice.  We are all counting our blessings and none of us are looking forward to returning to the real world.

Beach bbq...a new tradition?!
It was the perfect opportunity to reconnect with friends and family.

Last night I had one of "those" moments.  There are things we do here that we never do at home...in addition to walking on the beach, swimming and eating lobster.  It was after dinner, around 8 or so, and we got in the car and drove to a friend's house to visit...spontaneously and unannounced.  We were met with a welcome and had a lovely evening.  At home, I would never just drop in on a friend after 8 p.m. unannounced.  Let's just add Covid life to that equation and it makes that event even more meaningful.  We were together with friends, in their house, with other friends...spontaneously.  We had not done such a thing for way too long and it felt so normal.  The world was back on its axis.

Before getting here, I wondered how we would be received.  The U.S. is not faring too well with virus and Canada is extremely conservative in their approach, would we be welcomed?  My concerns were quickly put to rest.  We felt very welcomed and comfortable.  Whew!  It would have been very awkward to dial back my need for socializing!

We were blessed, early on, with some classic perfect shore weather.  The days were warm...even hot (totally surprising) and sunny and we followed our usual daily flow of morning exercise, take care of any chores, have lunch and make our way down to the beach until time to head home for dinner.  After dinner, enjoy sunset and visit friends and family until you can't keep your eyes open any longer, sleep and repeat.  It is a great way to spend a day week...or two!  I remember the first rainy day came after about 10 days and it was a blessing.  Today, the fifth icky day in a row, I am much less enamored of the rain. 

At least even the icky days have some bright spots.

I really missed the sky up here.  I could fill several photo albums with the pictures of the sky I have taken.  As I sit here in my sunroom, I  notice I have about a 140 degree view of the sky, no wonder it is my favorite room!  It occurs to me that our 2 summers of roaming the USA consisted of a lot of sky time, and that was just fine with me!  At home we do not see the horizon very often and I really like seeing the horizon.  Maybe I should file that information away for our "retirement" location!  Always looking for suggestions on that front!  

Love this even on a rainy day.

Turns out when you arrive late you stay late.  I am not sure we have ever had more Americans on the beach in September than Canadians.  Usually I am hunting for someone to chat with by this time of the summer but thankfully many of my cousins are staying into mid September.  With the border only opening on August 9 many of us are taking advantage of late summer here.  We are all enjoying the more intimate visits and time spent together.  I, for one, am looking at this as a preview of years to come when many of them retire and have more free time to spend here.  We all love the busy times in July and August with siblings, kids, grandkids and cousins... but as expected, those times often feel frenzied.  It has been a real treat to spend quality time together with a smaller group.  Don't get me wrong, next year I will be very ready for any and all visitors throughout several months up here!  I better be careful what I wish for!

Oddly, I expected to be inspired to write once we were here.  Usually this place inspires me and brings out some of my best stuff.  I have found myself struggling with just what to write since I arrived.  Either I have not been listening or I have been too busy soaking up my 5 weeks of fresh air, sea breezes, sandy toes, delicious local food, easy conversations, colorful sunsets, familiar relationships and peace enough to last me until we return next year.  This place has served as my giant RESET button for most of my life.  If ever there was a need to reset, it was the past 2 years.  Maybe this is an escape but maybe it is a return to a more simple life where the biggest problem is wondering how long the rain will last or how you repair old screens or what bin does aluminum foil go in...trash or recycling, and what time is low tide today?  So, instead of writing I have been doing...and enjoying every minute.  Even more thankful for this place this year than many other years.  Taking nothing for granted!

I waited 2 years for this glass of wine!

And for this sunset!

Garden renovation...getting ready for a banner year in 2022!

Fall colors in the roadside ditches...

Turtle head!

The simple pleasure of an afternoon spent
power washing.

No words can express how thankful we are to be here!