Finding the Middle of Nowhere, Part 1

It took us ten days on the road to find the middle of nowhere!  There were many times on the journey I thought we found it but it wasn't until Saturday that I concluded we really were...finally... in the middle of nowhere.  The trip this summer was planned to avoid the crowds and see some of America's less frequented National Parks.  We read and heard that many of the parks are very crowded now that people feel a bit more free to roam the planet.  Except to Canada, which we are still not free to roam into.  No hard feelings...well...almost none.  I miss it, but instead of sitting around missing it, we are enjoying the middle of nowhere, avoiding the crowds and giving some of the other parks a little love.

Sunset on the first night of the road trip, in Fredericksburg, TX.
Not the middle of nowhere yet!

Our first park was Big Bend National Park.  You may have heard, Texas is very large!  We feel like we drove through most of it to get to Big Bend!  After driving many miles on the flat west Texas highways the flat rocky desert gradually changes to a hilly desert with mountains in the distance.  It is like you are in a different state!  We enjoyed getting to know the small town of Alpine which was where we stayed.  Alpine is full of murals!  They are little surprises around every corner.

The murals of Alpine!  
Worth checking out, even if it is almost 100 degrees.
Yes, that is Hoss from Bonanza who is from Alpine.

We explored Big Bend and just had to do the most iconic hike to see one of the most recognized scenes in the park.  TJ rode his bike up and down the steep hills while the rest of us drove to the canyon and hiked to the Rio Grande River.  We saw Mexico, across the water, several different places in the park.  After driving to the three main areas closest to us, we decided we should definitely come back, when it is cooler outside!  The crowds were...minimal.  Nobody else is crazy enough to visit a park in south Texas in the summer.

At least it is a dry heat....🥵

Just a short hike from here....

To here!  Mexico on the left, USA on the right.

After a few very warm days in south Texas we headed north, expecting to escape the heat.  The best way to escape the heat is to go deep into a cave!  Carlsbad Caverns National Park is another, out of the way, park.  We saw that reservations were required to enter the caverns and they were sold out online for the day we were there.  TJ, being TJ, decided to just go get in the very short line with his Senior park pass and try his luck.  Lucky for me...he is a lucky guy!  We were given a ticket to enter and in a matter of minutes we were taking the elevator down 750 feet to the caverns.  No hiking down for us, we were on a schedule and only had a short time to explore.   Ahhh, nice and cool down there.  I am so glad we took a chance, it was amazing!  I wondered if I would feel claustrophobic in the caves but upon entry I realized there was no way it would be a problem.  It was like entering a gigantic cathedral that went on for a mile!  The lighting inside was perfect and highlighted the formations beautifully.  I was surprised how much I enjoyed this place.

I love how the two on the right side are just about touching, after hundreds of years!

Photos will never do this place justice, just go and see it for yourself!

 

After five days on the road and some pretty impressive parks it was time for a break from the trails and the oppressive heat.  Time to join civilization for a couple of days.  Santa Fe is a perfect mix of civilization and still a bit wild.  We enjoyed eating out at nice restaurants, walking the streets and looking at the galleries, visiting a church or two and playing a round of golf.  Playing golf on a road trip feels like a touch of home, since I spend at least two to three days a week on the golf course at home.  It is a familiar environment and an exercise my muscles are familiar with as opposed to hiking on steep trails.  We enjoyed our little civilized break.

To quote on of my sisters-in-law....
"I feel like letting my arms go!"

I had the same feeling here.
Gotta love air conditioned golf!

After a short break in Santa Fe, we headed north to find The Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park.  Sorry to admit, a park I had not heard of until a few weeks ago.  Our original plan was to spend the next three days in Moab exploring Arches and Canyonlands.  After hearing how overcrowded the parks were this summer and how Arches closed for part of each day due to capacity crowds, our friend Roberto, refigured the route.  Sticking with our "less visited parks" theme we diverted to Montrose, Colorado and Black Canyon.  

To get to Black Canyon from Santa Fe, we passed through Durango, Co. and had lunch with a good friend of our son.  We had to stop!  What are the chances we will pass this way again?  After lunch, we drove The Million Dollar Highway to Montrose, Co.  There are many legends as to why it is called the Million Dollar Highway ranging from one vertigo challenged man saying he would not travel that road again for a million dollars to the legend that when it was built in the 1930's they used gravel left over from nearby gold and silver mines only to discover later that it was rich in ore and very valuable.  TJ agrees with the first legend wholeheartedly!  He drove the first five miles and I had to pry his clenched fists off the steering wheel and guide him safely to the passenger seat while I drove the remaining 80 miles of switchbacks up and down the peaks of the San Juan mountains through the San Juan National Forest.  It is a stunning drive but not for the faint of heart!

Not for the vertigo challenged!

Turns out Black Canyon of the Gunnison is one beautiful park!  TJ, again, decided it would be best explored riding his bike.  For whatever reason, cliffs and switchbacks do not bother him as much on the bike as they do in the car.  The rest of us, again, drove to the end of the park, hiked up and down the trail to get the big view and then pulled over at every lookout on our way down.  I had no idea what to expect from this park and am so glad we put it on our itinerary!  The canyon is deep and dark and surrounded by mesas and mountains.  

We also stayed in one of the most unique accommodations of the trip while in Montrose.  We had 2 rooms in the Old School House Lodge in Montrose.  An  interesting communal experience.  We joked that it had the makings of one of those novels like, "Nine Perfect Strangers" or "The Woman in Cabin 10".  There were the two couples traveling together (us), the guy riding a dirt bike from coast to coast, the young couple who had been in town for a month and were heading back to real life the next day, the mother and her twenty-something son who was taking a break from work, the couple no one ever saw and the woman who lived downstairs.  All the makings of a good novel!  The place is amazing and we loved meeting the other travelers!

Breakfast on the porch in the cool, fresh air!
Perfect!

Glad I have these groovy hiking shoes!
Painted Wall

We enjoyed our time in Montrose very much!  A two night stay makes a big difference when you are on the road for over a week.  We also opted to do take-out while there.  After a year and a half of not eating out, we ate out most nights on the trip up to this point and believe it or not, it felt so good to just stay in.  We played cards after dinner and one night we played dominoes with our new friends, the young couple who had been in town for a month.  We all commented on the fact that last year we would not have sat together at a table with 4 other people we did not live with and play dominoes together.  We all happily thanked our vaccinations for giving us the freedom to really enjoy playing a game together with new friends.  Travel is much different this year than it was last year, and it is a good thing!

Stay tuned for Part 2 when we reach the middle of nowhere.

If I Were a Bird

Here in Houston, the hot, humid weather has my migratory instincts in high gear.  If I were a bird I would be leaving this nest for cooler, less humid environs.  And...if I were a bird, I could just flap my wings and be on my way, no reservations or passports required, no Covid restrictions and no bags to pack.  Alas, I am not a bird so in order to address those migratory instincts, I have to make a plan, make some reservations, pack my bags, and organize my house before I can leave the nest. 

The pull of the red sand is very strong!

Normally, you know...pre 2020, my migration would be to Nova Scotia.  I had the drill down to a science.  I had a good idea of what to pack, what to do with the house, what flights to book, what awaited me once I arrived and what to look forward to for another summer, just like the past 50...or so...summers.  That all changed last year.  A giant wrench had been thrown into my migratory pattern in the form of a pandemic.  Much has changed in our world since last summer but in at least one respect things are just the same.  Unless I am a bird...I am not getting to Nova Scotia as things stand today.  This sad reality has forced me to commit to Plan B...again.  Plan B is getting a lot of play time and I sincerely hope it does not become Plan A in my life because I really, really liked Plan A.

I have spent many hours contemplating this summer's plans.  Do we stay home and hope and pray that the Canadian border opens sooner rather than later or do we go ahead and make plans based on the current data?  Currently, it does not look like the border will be open to us (fully vaccinated Americans who own property in Canada) any time soon.  Soon being by July 1 in my book.  I could stay home and sweat it out, literally, if I knew with confidence that on July 1 I could fly up to Nova Scotia.  Some things are worth the sweat.  But...I don't have much confidence that this will happen.  So rather than hang around, sweating it out and waiting for news that may never come, we have made plans to migrate elsewhere again this summer.

We figured our trip out west last year was a once in a lifetime adventure.  Who knew we would be doing a similar road trip again this year?  I still think last year was a once in a lifetime!  Already, I am treasuring the memories of that trip.  I remember the tentative feelings we had when we left home in a pandemic.  We were diligent in our safety protocols while we were on the road.  There were adrenalin rushes to invigorate us when we entered  a state we had never visited before and saw things we had only read about in history books and seen in photographs. All of those emotions paired with a constant need to be on our guard against an invisible virus made us feel very alive and aware.  We will never forget to appreciate the lack of traffic last year, the empty parking lots, the ease with which we came and went in and out of our national parks, or the creativity it took to eat, drink, travel and exist safely on the road during a pandemic.  For some reason, I don't think we are going to have the parks to ourselves this year.  We also won't live in constant fear of an invisible virus either, assuming vaccines indeed do what they are meant to do.  Win some...lose some.

Pretty sure things will not look like this again this summer.

This parking lot scene will be fondly remembered this summer.  I will try to channel this vision when we find ourselves circling a parking lot in one of our National Parks hoping to find a parking place.  Seems we were really onto something last year!  Who knew?  Hindsight...once again 20/20 or in this case 2020.

Our plans this summer started with our anniversary friends asking if they could stop by and visit us on their way up to Montana.  They were taking a road trip through several National Parks on their way up to Montana to visit their daughter, Marathon Girl.  They were going to see Big Bend National Park, which we missed last year and vowed to go back and visit someday.  We got to thinking, talked to our friends, and decided we would join them on their National Park visits.  They would continue to Montana and we would drop off in Park City where we have some amazingly generous friends.  

One night, TJ and I were sitting around and I had a thought.  It happens occasionally!  "If we can't go to Canada...or really anywhere other than the U.S., where would we like to go that we haven't been yet?".  The answer was, Alaska!  I proceeded to take a virtual trip to Alaska and saw many of the same summer flowers that grow in Nova Scotia, read about the similar summer weather and oohed and aahed at the photos and suggested we go to Alaska.  He was all in!  I love that guy!  He took the ball and ran with it!  

It has been nice dreaming about and planning another summer on the road.  I do think we may not be the only ones with this idea this summer.  I just hope Alaska isn't on everyone else's summer itinerary.  It would be nice to have that special feeling of seeing the beauty of our National Parks without having to stand in long lines or dodge and weave our way around hundreds of other well intended visitors.  We were so spoiled last year!

I have also upgraded my outdoor gear.  If we are going to do this, let's do it right this time.  I am now the proud owner of real hiking shoes.  My Brooks running shoes took a real beating last year.  I also think we will be doing some more serious hiking this year and need all the help I can get...sturdy shoes to the rescue.  TJ also decided I needed better biking equipment.  His decision...not mine.  The only way I am ever going to keep up with him on a bike is if my bike has super powers.  After witnessing several people cruising up the mountains in Zion last summer on their e-bikes, TJ decided I needed one.  Happy birthday to me.  

This is me after my first organized ride last weekend.
17 miles...uphill all the way 😂
and I have the tee shirt to prove it!

He has big plans for me to accompany him on some of those hilly bike rides on the road.  Not sure who this gift is for....him or me?!  At least this year I will be able to keep up with him and breathe at the same time.  I think it's time I sign him up for some yoga classes just to make it even!

Stay tuned for tales of life on the road.  We may not be escaping the heat for a week or two but we will certainly escape the humidity. "It will be a dry heat"...like that matters!  Say a prayer that the Edge Café (our car) continues to be trusty and road worthy and that we are able to keep our sense of humor and wonder during our hundreds of miles on the road!  One...or both of us does not do traffic very well.  Also, after a year and a half of social distancing...we really like our space!  And...believe me...if I were a bird...I would be on my way to Nova Scotia!  If the border opens...we will turn around (after Alaska) and make a beeline home and head to our farmhouse!

Finally, if I were a bird I would be a bluebird.  They winter down here and summer as far north as Canada.  Sounds good to me!  They are also beautiful...even the females.  Then there is this:

The bluebird is a symbol of hope, love, and renewal and is also a part of many Native American legends. The Bluebird is actually a bird that symbolizes the essence of life and beauty. Dreaming of bluebirds often represents happiness, joy, fulfillment, hope, prosperity, and good luck.

Wishing all of you a bluebird kind of summer!

Two Years is Too Long!

I told myself last year I would not complain if and when the roads were full and people were out living their lives again...even if I did have to sit in traffic and wait in a line here or there.  I spent too much time sitting around my house and in my backyard last year to get upset about traffic or waiting.  And yet, last week, I let the traffic get the best of me.  I am taking this as a sign that the rusty cogs of our world are beginning to turn.  This also means that the rusty cogs of my social life are beginning to turn and I gotta say... it feels so good!

Last week was a milestone in our family.  It marked the first time since June of 2019 (Kelly and Chris' wedding) that all four of my kids were together with us.  Two years is too long!  Through the pandemic we have missed all of the holidays together and countless random family gatherings.  We are all now proudly vaccinated and more than happy that we feel safe being together again.  Kelly, Chris and August made the big trip from California to Houston for the week.  They were coming just for a visit but when we realized Michael's birthday was the day after their arrival Kelly asked if we could save news of their arrival as a surprise for Michael. 

When I realized that 3/4 of the kids would be in town I just had to let the oldest know and give her the option of joining us...if it could work out.  It worked out!  She made the trip too...and we didn't tell Michael about her visit either.  Houston decided to treat us all to torrential rain for the entire weekend...we hardly noticed.  Michael was endearingly surprised when he saw his sisters for the first time in two years.  We pulled it off and it was priceless and a bit teary!

Reunited...and  emotional

Two years is too long!

The next day was birthday celebration day.  We had 2 birthday boys...Michael and Logan.  We also had 14 people plus 3 children (not that they are not people but they did not count for the food order) for dinner.  Definitely the most people I've had in my house at one time since before the pandemic began. It was amazing!  We were all so happy to be together.  Cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings and friends together for the first time in a long time.  Brought to you by vaccinations, air travel and a love for each other that we have missed sharing in person for much too long.

Happy Birthday to our guys!
Thanks for giving us a perfect reason to get together!

As if flying across the country with a baby were not enough, I "made" my daughter and her little guy get in a car and drive 5 hours to Baton Rouge, which turned into 6 due to traveling with a baby and ...traffic.  The baby stops were excpected, I have taken many car trips with babies and am very familiar with the drill, but the traffic almost made me lose my religion.  The trip was WELL worth it in the end!  We introduced my mother to her youngest great grandchild.  It was love at first sight!

She has always loved babies...and they love her too!

My mother had not seen Kelly in over 2 years and in those years, she got married and had this sweet little boy.  It was a much overdue reunion made even sweeter by one smiling baby boy.  Augie was born one week after my Dad passed away and I could not help but think at the time that the circle of life just goes on and on.  We enjoyed a couple of great afternoons with my Mom on her living room floor, baby talking with Augie and letting every one of his many smiles melt our hearts.  Turns out, he is a good little traveler....takes after his parents.  We both fought back tears when we left Mom's house the last time.  Who knows when they will see each other again?  Totally worth sitting in traffic.

Where I almost lost my religion and had to remind myself 
not to complain...for over an hour!

After a week of family celebrations, visits, dinners, outings and late nights the house was back to just the two of us.  I cooked more food and for more people than I have in a very long time!  When the week was over TJ promised to do the cooking (with his credit card) for the next week.  He did a great job and we agreed that we just lived two weeks that felt as close to life "before " than any since March 2020...and it felt so good!

4 generations!

Because I can't resist....highlights from the week that felt "normal"!

Are they here yet?

Let's just call this one precious angel!

Lego building

Who knew balloons could provide so much fun?!

I think all of us felt the same way at one point or another that week!
ZZZZ

Augie loved his new toy!

BBQ and crawfish...
teach your children well.

Hiking Instead of Biking

I was going to post a ton of pictures of our adventure today on Facebook and Instagram but decided to just write about the day on the blog instead.  This way I can share more pictures and say more about them. Lucky you.  Plus, I can tick that "pay attention to the blog" box in my life.  Lucky me.

Preface:

TJ had carpal tunnel surgery 8 days ago on his right hand.  

TJ usually rides his bike about 50+ miles on Saturday mornings and probably 50 more during the week.  This means that TJ burns a lot of calories and uses up a lot of energy during the week.  It also means that he is gone for many hours which leaves me alone for many hours....and I enjoy that time.  

TJ realized the day after his surgery that he is conditioned, after 10 years, to wake up early on Saturday morning, get in the car and drive somewhere, get on a bike and ride, have lunch, come home and spend the rest of the day knowing that he has done something and burned a million calories doing it.

TJ also realized that he needs to do something to burn the million calories, other than ride his bike for the next few weeks.  So now he is hiking instead of biking...and apparently so am I.

And now, the adventure. 

The realization that TJ needs to drive and exercise on Saturdays lead to a wild goose chase last weekend.  We drove out to nearby Brazos Bend State Park last Saturday for a hike.  Sadly, the park was full and we did not have the foresight to make a reservation.  We left the park, disappointed, and still with no foot miles under our ever tighter belts.  On the way home we visited a new park near our house and finally walked a few miles.  TJ was extremely disappointed to find out he would have to walk for the rest of the day to burn the same number of calories he burns on his 50+ mile bike rides. 

Not exactly the most lovely of walking venues!  
But if you want to stop by later I think there is a movie showing.

Not to be turned away again, this weekend TJ made reservations at the State Park and we drove back out there this morning for a hike.  We were treated to a nice spring cool front which made our walk very enjoyable.  Judging by the welcome sign and all of the literature, there are alligators in the park.  We had a lovely walk around the lakes and kept our eyes open for wildlife.  We were not disappointed!

Queue the Jaws soundtrack...

Incoming

Gator!

We were very excited to see not one but two alligators which guarantees I would never camp here...if I camped.  The area was lovely and of course I really enjoyed the trees, the flowers and the water.  We did not however burn a million calories on our meandering hike.

Fill me up buttercup!

We kept our distance!

Not sure what these are, but they sure are cute!

Gotta love Spanish moss in the breeze!

Since we had not driven quite enough on a Saturday morning for TJ, we got back in the car and headed north.  After all, it is wildflower season in Texas!  Last year, our first time out of our immediate neighborhood after life shut down for Covid, was a drive out to look at the bluebonnets.  There was no traffic, there were no people, nothing was open and I remember thinking we were being so risky driving around looking at flowers.  It was very early Covid and none of us knew what we were dealing with...and maybe we still don't.  Today felt much different, in a good way...except for the traffic.  I miss those days without traffic.

We ate lunch outside, at a restaurant!  We then found a nice back road with plentiful bluebonnet fields.  I really can't get enough of them.  They were at their peak today!  We soaked in the green and purple fields, the blue skies, the light traffic and the fresh pollen-filled air (we were both very allergic!).  

He was just posing for me!

Perfection

Behind...or in front of...the scenes

On the other side of the fence!

I love these pink ones as much as the bluebonnets!

We were very lucky to find so many fields just full of flowers!  We had heard there was a Bluebonnet Festival nearby and thought we would check it out.  When we got to the main road we were very surprised!  We had no idea that everyone in Houston had driven out to Bluebonnet country for the festival, or at least for some bluebonnet family photos.  We looked at each other, we looked at the traffic and decided neither of us needed anything they were selling at the festival that badly!  We turned around and happily headed back on our backroad.

"Hey...you guys...get off the main road...the best flowers are over here!"

Smile kids!

This is another side of bluebonnet season.  Everyone goes out and finds a field to take a great family photo.  We do it too, so I can't judge!  I really enjoy driving to the opposite side of the field to see it from a different angle.  This particular field was amazing and went on forever!  It really is a good season!

The other side of the hill

The surprise at the top of the hill.

Here's looking at spring in Texas!

P.S.

We did not burn a million calories today.  Guess we will be back at it tomorrow.

A Shot In the Arm

I played golf last week with a man, who after he introduced himself, added, "I would just like you to know that I have had both of my vaccines.".   I was very happy to add to his introduction that I have had one of mine.  Vaccination status is becoming the new ice breaker.  We played a very enjoyable round of golf and it almost felt like the old days...you know...2019.  We were almost instantly more comfortable being around each other knowing that the chances of either of us getting sick enough to go to the hospital or die was now significantly limited.  Liberating.

Today, I went to my local mailing center to mail the dreaded tax return.  When I entered I overheard the owner chatting with a customer who was telling him about the "day after" affects of the vaccine and what to expect.  We know each other, so I asked when he got his vaccination and he said it was earlier that day.  He was smiling and proudly shared that his wife would be getting hers on Sunday.  We looked at each other over our masks with shared hope and slight relief.  

The only kind of shot I enjoy!
Birdie cheers!

I have never in my life looked forward to getting a shot... unless it is in a glass (or paper cup) and contains Fireball.  And maybe the morphine when I broke my arm was a welcome shot in the arm but I am pretty sure I was delusional with pain at the time.  I got my first ever flu shot last year and only because my pregnant daughter asked me to get it before we visited.  I try my best to avoid needles of any kind...until now.  I signed up on every waiting list I could get my name on for any Covid vaccine within a 50 mile radius.  I checked almost every day for new locations giving vaccines.  I was on a mission!  TJ got both of his earlier because he is over 65.  I am not...can you see me smiling?  I had to work a little harder to get on a list...any list.  A couple of weeks ago I finally made my way through and go an appointment for my first vaccine!  I have never been so glad to have high blood pressure, apparently a health risk for Covid.  I bravely showed up two weeks ago for my first Covid vaccine.  A few waves of chills that night and a very sore arm for a day and I am one shot closer to being fully vaccinated.

Thank you Walmart! 
Cold shoulder shirt resurrected for the occasion.

Coincidentally or ironically, a couple of days after my shot in the arm,  I received a text message from one of the waitlists with a link to get an appointment if I still needed a vaccine.  Later the same week I was contacted by my doctor's office, whom I had contacted very early on to let them know if and when vaccines were available for my group that I wanted one, they were now giving vaccines if I still needed one.  I guess it was finally my turn on several fronts.  Moral of the story, register on any list you can!  

Every day more and more people are being vaccinated!  On the one year anniversary of the day the world changed due to the Covid pandemic I find myself one step closer to hopefully not getting or giving Covid.  I also find myself voluntarily wearing a mask...come on admit it...on March 11, 2020 were you wearing a mask everywhere?   Did you have an extensive mask wardrobe?  A favorite mask?  For me this role has evolved.  Some of my early Covid favorites are no longer in the rotation. I now have a mask in the car, the golf bag, my purse and the pockets of many jackets.  There are a couple masks I will always associate with our summer of National Parks...fond memories.  I have the ones that my glasses don't fog up with, the ones that don't make my nose itch, the ones that don't wear out my ears when I wear them for a long time and the cute ones that can only be worn for a short time and then the "go to" masks which change places weekly.  

The biggest vaccine benefit has been freely reuniting with my daughter and her family here in town.  She and her husband are fully vaccinated, along with TJ and now that I have one shot down we have been able to be together with them and our two grandchildren.  We missed them so much and are beside ourselves with joy every time they come over and run into our arms!  It sure has been a long year!  

Hope Springs Eternal

This post is dedicated to my family and friends who find themselves longing for "the shore" these days.  For over 10 years I have written at least five posts a year about the shore.  It is one of my favorite things to write about!   Last year, there were no posts about the shore and that makes me sad so I decided if I can't be there I will just write about it.  During the off season, "the shore" is either a fresh memory that gives our life perspective and energy, a sometimes forgotten memory because we are so busy in our "real" lives, or a highly anticipated summer event that gets us through the last month (or months, for those of you who live in the north) of winter and to the end of the school year.  This is often the time of year we look at our calendars and plan our summer migration.  Some of you are knee deep in snow and the thought of walking the warm, sunny, sandy beach is enough to get you through another freezing winter day.  Some of us are tired of looking out at the brown grass and the brown trees and are ready for some bright green grass, blue skies and salty breezes.  Most of us, this year especially, are tired of being in our own homes and would do anything to sit on the sandbars with the usual suspects and talk about everything and nothing all day long.

Blue skies, green grass and salty air
May 2019

Last year at this time we were just beginning life with Covid.  We were all going to stay home for 2 weeks and it was going to stop the spread.  We all know how that worked out.  We continued to have some hope through the spring that things would get under control by the summer and we would still be able to visit our beloved shore.  One year later, here I sit still wondering if we will be able to visit our beloved shore and I am not alone in this wondering.  The mental motivation that is provided every year by merely anticipating our summer migration is enough to keep me going and bring a smile to my face.  I must admit, this year my smile is guarded and a bit tense....not really a smile at all, more of a sigh hidden behind a mask.  

The last blog post I wrote about the shore was on September 19, 2019 after Hurricane Dorian blew through and left a mess in her wake.  It was also right before we left the shore for what we expected to be 8 or 9 months...not 2 years!  I think about this and wonder, "What condition did we leave our cottage and the farmhouse in under those extreme circumstances?".  We left with our yard full of giant fallen trees.  We left with roofs that needed patching.  We left after a week of dealing with my parents and expediting their departure after the storm.  We closed their cottage...did we do a good enough job to last 2 years?  Are there several families of rodents living comfortably in my basement or shed?  Will I need boots and a snow shovel to get through the dead fly corpses in my house?  What "non perishable" food items did I leave behind that have perished in scary ways over the last 2 years?  My hope is that we can find out the answers to these questions this summer.  Hope springs eternal.

The past year has been heavy.  First a pandemic began.  Then the pandemic got worse.  Then there was a summer without our beloved shore.  Then...the pandemic got worse.  There was a whole lot of hate flying around before, during and after the election and that hate is toxic for everyone regardless of your political affiliation. Then my Dad passed away.  The pandemic continued and we all continue to miss our friends, our neighbors, our families, our freedom to go out (choose your "out"...shopping, sporting events, the gym, work, school, dinner, movie, wedding, funeral, inside a friend's house...the list goes on!) without risk of getting sick or getting someone else sick. We kept going through life though, because that is what we do!  With the vaccine rollout there is a glimmer of hope.  

Reading about the last month at the shore in 2019 I found exactly what I needed today. I encourage you to read it, right here...right now, and come back after you read it.  It is that fresh breeze I wanted to store away for just the right time and that time is now.  I really miss the epic sunsets, the people, bonfires, the beach, fried clams and coconut cream pie, driving along the shore road and the inexplicable feelings stirred in my heart whenever I am there.

I read my Mixed Emotions post (just in case you didn't already read it) and got to the part about cutting my Dad's hair and it stopped me in my tracks.  I had cut his hair and beard a few more times over the past year and every time made me pause and feel the intimacy of the moment.  I would cut it again today if I could!  We all thought 2019 may have been his last summer at the shore.  He will make one final trip to the shore where he will rest forever in his favorite place on earth.  It might be this year...and then again...it might not.

It is very strange to have "going to the shore" a certainty for so many summers of my life to it being such an uncertainty.   My spring time longings for the shore have a caveat again this year.  Will the border open to us or won't it?  The million dollar question.  We have a bit of hope but unlike last year, we are under no delusions that our hopes will become reality. So...this spring I will make a solid Plan B and hope I need to cancel those National Park reservations!  One of us is fully vaccinated and the other is on every waiting list she can manage to get her name on!  One step closer to the end and the beginning.