The Next Stage

 Celebrating a significant (at least to me) birthday recently, plus my mother moving to an assisted living home, has really thrown me for a loop.  Most of the time it is easy for me to ignore my age, I am only as old as I feel and most days, until recently, I feel pretty good=young.  I didn't have to deal with daily reminders of my numeric age until I had to sign up for Medicare and renew my 10 year old driver's license in June.  Now, every time I open my wallet I see 65 year old Lisa staring back at me instead of 55 year old Lisa, who was very tan, a bit thinner with fewer "experience" lines and chins.  My new photo, thanks to the new technology, is many shades of gray and makes me look like a faded version of myself which only serves to remind me that maybe I am becoming a faded version of myself.  "Damn, I hate you, new driver's license!"  Add to this the almost daily mail I now receive from Social Security and I am finding it harder and harder to deny my age, try as I may.

All of my peers have either lost their parents or if they are still alive, are now dealing with care for them in one sense or another.  As our parents get closer to the end of life it makes us also come face to face with our own mortality.  Not trying to be morbid here, it is a fact of life.  For so much of our lives, if  we are healthy and barring any tragedies, the natural end of life seems in the distant future.  For me, I never gave it too much consideration until recently.  A few things have moved it forward in my consciousness.  First, the death of my father, second my mother's health and her recent move and lastly, coming to the shore this year and realizing my generation has moved up in the pecking order of the circle of life.  

One of the blessings of the shore is the presence of several generations every summer.  Currently, I can count 4, maybe more, generations being represented here.  We grew up spending our summers surrounded by people of all ages.  It is part of what makes this place so special.  Our lives back home are not usually spent with such a broad spectrum of people.  We tend to spend most of our time with people in our same stage of life with the occasional visit from a grandparent or an aunt or uncle.  This summer, I am noticing there are fewer and fewer of my parent's generation showing up at the shore and it is eye opening.  For the last 20 years those aunts and uncles have been staples here at the shore.  They were our foundation in this place, the reason we all love this place and return year after year is because they loved this place and brought us year after year.  They started some of the very traditions that we love so much!  We have passed this down to our children and now some of them are passing it along to their children.  Suddenly, we have become the older aunts and uncles....YIKES!  

Being one of the "older" aunts and uncles is a blessing and a curse.  A curse...because obviously we are the next to "age out"....but not for a long time!  The good news is that currently, the blessings outweigh the curses.  The blessings are that we now have the freedom to spend months at a time here and don't have to rely on a few vacation weeks.  Every week is suddenly a vacation!  Being at the younger end of the older generation gives us many years to enjoy our new role.  I consider that my parents enjoyed 20 years of summers with their siblings and cousins at the shore after my dad retired.  If I think about how long 20 years really is, I have a long time to enjoy this phase of life! Another blessing is being able to watch as the next generations pass through some of the next phases.  

Rainy days at the shore mean different things to different ages!

There is lot of perspective that can be gained as we get older.  For example, rainy days.  As a child, rainy days up here were spent playing countless card games, tromping around in the rain wearing our boots and raincoats, driving our parents crazy because we were bored.  As young adults and teenagers we spent many a rainy day sleeping in, playing cards or games, and socializing, eating plenty of junk food.  As a young parent of children, rainy days felt endless.  Stuck in the small cottage, feeling alone and isolated with restless children thinking of ways to keep them entertained and not go nuts in the process.  Dealing with wet clothes and enduring a noise level that would have benefitted by the invention of noise cancelling headphones!   Add to the mix the teenagers who seemed to consume all of the food in the building and rainy days were never my favorite.  But I was a lot younger...so there was that!  As the nest emptied rainy days provided me with a much needed "day off".  A day off from the sun on the beach, a day off to read, a day off to do things around the house and catch up.  A day to sit and visit people one on one.  A good rainy day has also resulted in the writing of more than one memorable skits over the years. Retirement rainy days mean a restless husband instead of restless children! (almost the same thing, only slightly quieter). 

The point is, as I sit here on this rainy day, I think back to the many stages of my life up here and realize maybe the grass wasn't greener on the other side, maybe it was all green...just different shades of green that I  didn't see yet.  So, I will try to embrace this new stage of life at the shore and make the very most of the next 20 years, even if my driver's license does look like some old lady with a double chin.

The End of the World, As I Know It

Four days ago I was ready to leave!  I think it had something to do with the skunking incident, plus the rain plus the fact I was just plain tired.  I wanted to go "home".  There comes a time in every summer when I am ready to go home.  It usually happens when I am tired and usually on a rainy day.  I think to myself, "I'm ready to leave, I'm ready for air conditioning, eating out at restaurants, retail stores within two miles, mindless television, city water and sewage, and last but certainly not least, college football."  Usually I get over this phase on the next sunny day when I am reminded how beautiful it is up here at this time of year and I remember how hot and humid it still is back home.

Serenity next door at the pond 

Last night I had a dream, more accurately... a nightmare.  I am not a psychiatrist nor do I play one on television but if I were one who analysed dreams this one would be a doozy!  In my dream I was outside chatting with friends in a driveway of one of our former residences and I noticed an interesting cloud formation.  That cloud formation turned out to be a mushroom cloud!

An image that might just wake you up from a sound sleep too!

In my dream I remember thinking, "Cool clouds....wait, that looks like an explosion!  Oh SH*#, what do I do now?"  I woke up immediately  from my dream and drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the night.  All night I thought about what I should do or would do in the case of a nuclear explosion.  These are not sleep inducing thoughts.  I also had the song by R.E.M., "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" running through my mind all night long.  Not much sleep happened! Do you know how hard it is to sleep when you are thinking about why you dreamed up a nuclear explosion and what you would do if there were one?  Do I run to my family, do I drop to my knees and start praying and ask for forgiveness for all the wrongs I've done, do I run and help those who need it, do I just run for cover and hide?  These are the thoughts that ran through my all too awake head last night.

This morning in the light of day, whew, I figured out what this dream must mean, because even though I don't play a psychiatrist on TV, I will stay at a Holiday Inn this week.  On the eve of my two day marathon of packing and closing up the house for the season, I am looking at the end of my life as I've known it for the last three months.  Eureka!

Sadly, my summer of sandbar walks, large quantities of fresh garden produce right outside my back door, simple living among family and friends is coming to it's inevitable end.  POW!  Just like that it will be all over on Wednesday, until next year.

no more sandbar sunsets

no more garden fresh veggies

no more fresh cut flowers all over the house

no more beautiful peaceful commute

So....it's the end of the world as we know it..........and I feel fine.   I guess.

The Party Is Over

And so it begins....another year.
I usually don't "love" New Year's Eve.  I find it never quite lives up to the hype and as much as it pains me to admit, I have a hard time staying up past midnight these days.  This year was different!  Is this a sign?

We were still in Nova Scotia on New Year's Eve and went right across the street to a party.  No need to worry about which one of us would have to be the designated driver, we were free to drink... responsibly.  We bundled up, it was -20C, and walked to the party.  (Yes, we take on polar bear qualities when we are immersed in snowy wintry conditions)  We knew every single person at the party!  That is my kind of party!

The party itself was attended by young, old and all ages in between.  One of the many blessings of life at the shore are the multi-generational get togethers.  We had tons of delicious food, signature drinks, and on top of it all there was hockey and curling on the pond next door.  I can't say I actually witnessed the curling, I stayed inside and "made sure the fire did not go out"....I have my limits people and -20C is one of them!

This young man ?  braved the cold and participated in the curling,
 he also tried some creative ways to stay warm.
His glasses immediately fogged up when he came inside!

Winter up north has a few unique necessities aside from the obvious good boots, warm coats, hats and gloves.   A large mudroom is a must in any northern home.  The mudroom is the staging area for putting on and taking off all the winter gear.  We don't really have a need for mudrooms down here, except for mud...and really...how much mud do flip flops drag in anyways?

A nice self respecting mudroom...in full use!

We brought in the new year with cheers and hugs and kisses all around.  I loved being up there and bringing in the year with my summer friends and relatives.  Since the party was attended by many children things broke up soon after midnight....perfect!  We bundled back up and walked home, I'm sure we were stone sober by the time we got there.....-20C can do that!

So, here we are in 2014 and it's time to get back to work.  The holidays are officially over...or they will be tonight after the BCS Championship game...for me at least.  I guess it's that dreaded time of year when I am supposed to resolve to get healthier, organize my life, write at least once a week on the blog,  and be a better person.  Since we have a big wedding coming up in May, I will join the resolutionists this year and try to fight the flab in order to fit into that elusive-perfect-mother-of-the-bride dress.  The party is over......but it sure was fun!

There's No Place Like Home, There's No Place Like Home, There's No Place Like Home

I kind of feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz  after she woke up from that crazy dream only to find that she was happy just being home in Kansas.   I'm not sure if after my summer away I have more courage, brains or heart...but I do have over 500 pictures and some great memories.  When it is all said and done though, it sure is nice to be home for a while!  Even though the the thermometer says 102 degrees and it still has not rained for months and I had to BUY lettuce at the grocery store instead of  pick it out of the garden.... on the bright side, I have twice weekly garbage pick up, a garbage disposal (curb your enthusiasm!), air conditioning, my car, my regular Tuesday golf game, my book club, and a life.   A life that has been somewhat neglected over the last few months....at least when Dorothy woke up she had only missed a day or two!

When I last left you I was lamenting the beauties of the shore and trying to hold on to that last bit of summer.  It was not the perfect summer but it had some very special times and was my first to "stay on".  I could definitely get used to "staying on".  Last year, re-entry was postponed with a trip to New York.  This year I managed to postpone real life another week by accompanying TJ on a business trip to the UK and Europe. 

London Bridge is not falling down!  It was quite lovely.

I sure hope there is enough paella for me to have some too!  Covent Garden...food court?

This is the train station in Antwerp where I walked from end to end pulling my bag and looking for my platform, or at least the platform I thought I was supposed to catch my train at, with no luck.  I started to feel like Harry Potter and expected to be sucked into the  train to Hogwarts at any minute!  I did eventually ask someone for directions and it turns out the train to Brussels is labeled.... Paris!?  Duh!

Hogwarts....I mean Brussels.  Where I walked approximately 20 miles and got to see a lot of beautiful buildings and gardens. 

When TJ was finally finished with his work obligations we were lucky enough to go to France and stay at his sister's house.  I know...can you believe she has a house in France?!  It is in an ancient town near Dijon.  If I thought being without TV at the shore was an adjustment, going to a remote French village with no TV, no clock, no phone and no internet was another thing altogether.  This would be a perfect place for a quiet retreat.  It took a bit to shift gears from London to remote ancient village in France!  It was beautiful!  We really enjoyed the surroundings and being transported to a different time. 

A long way from the farmhouse....in time and space.

A place where you drive down the road and see things like this!

In addition to ancient castles, we also came across a horse parade.  I guess these guys needed a drink at the cafe before the parade!

One way to make sure you do not miss the shore so much when you eventually get home is to go to a foreign country, live out of a suitcase for a week, have some gray gloomy weather, catch a miserable cold, spend a lot of time alone walking through large cities and find out that your French is only minorly passable as a means of communication.  It puts everything in perspective!

 Summer at the shore is over, everyone has gone back to their real lives, it is time to go "home".   A place somewhere in between the laid back, fresh shore air place where everyone knows your name to the crowded, busy, urban city where you are anonymous to the quiet, remote, ancient village....."home" is somewhere that has a little part of each.