Movies, Mother's Day and Mom

I went to a theater and saw a movie yesterday!  It's been a while!  One unfortunate (in my opinion) result of Covid was the decline in attendance at movie theaters, the increase in streaming services has only added to the decline.  I love seeing movies in theaters!  I wanted to grow up to be Siskel or Ebert. 

(Highlighted for any younger readers who never heard of these guys...boy am I dating myself here!) I am sure part of the reason I have such a love for movies in theaters is tied to my mother.  As I watched The Devil Wears Prada 2 yesterday my mother was right there with me. She would have loved the movie, with the gorgeous clothes worn by beautiful women in scenic settings, storyline ups and downs and finally a satisfying ending!  With this being Mother's Day weekend, mom has been on my mind.  Motherhood in general, so Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Looking like a movie star here!

 Mom loved the movies.  I have so many fond... and some embarrassing memories of going to see movies together.  Anything starring Julie Andrews or Barbara Streisand and she was all in!  It seemed like there was always something out starring one of them.  Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, Thoroughly Modern Millie, A Star is Born, and Funny Girl were some of the classics we saw in the theater.  We would go on Sunday afternoons and it was a huge treat for me!  We saw Gone with the Wind together and loved it...even though it was so long.  In hindsight, as a mother myself, I can only imagine how getting out of the house on a Sunday and leaving behind one or two children with Dad would have been a huge break for Mom!  I probably wasn't the only one who thought going to the movies was great.  

Seeing a Comedy with my mother deserves its own paragraph or therapy session!  That woman loved to laugh, and her laugh was enthusiastic to say the least! Seeing a comedy with mom, my siblings and I experienced many moments that made us want to crawl under our seats or become invisible.  None of us will ever forget seeing The Love Bug with mom.  She howled, she screamed, she snorted, she guffawed, she probably laughed until she cried and I'm pretty sure one or more of us moved seats, which resulted in even more laughter.  It may have been the funniest movie she ever saw.  She loved that slapstick comedy.  Any of the Pink Panther movies, The Odd Couple, or almost anything with Tony Curtis or Jack Lemon and you could possibly hear her laughter out in the concession stand!  As a self-conscious pre-teen or young teenager, I would be mortified by her loud and enthusiastic laughter.  I was sure everyone in the theater was looking at us.  At least it was dark!

I was reminded, fondly, of my mom a couple of weeks ago when I saw Phil Rosenthal of Somebody Feed Phil with a friend.  It turns out my friend has the same first name as my mother and apparently the laugh is part of the namesake!  Since I was desensitized to embarrassment by hearty laughter as a child, all I felt was nostalgia when she laughed heartily at some of the things Phil shared.  That night was the spark that started my walk down "memories of mom lane".  

Mother's Day flowers?  

Anyone, and the older we get the more there are of us, who finds themself celebrating their mother spiritually this weekend can relate to having mixed feelings on Mother's Day.  It has been almost 4 years since Mom passed and each Mother's Day, I find myself feeling a bit lost.  No one to send a card or flowers to or call on the phone.  While I celebrate my daughters who are now mothers and all the other mothers out there, I only had one Mom.  It's nice to have those sweet memories that float to the top on occasion and make me smile. And maybe laugh. 

Here are a few pics of Mom through the years that she may or may not have approved of me sharing.

Happy heavenly Mother's Day Mom 💕

Married at a young age!

I remember when she got that dress...it was amazing!
Mom and her two best friends from her home town.

Mom and her sister, brother and mother
in front of Grandma's house in Ohio.

Mom in a relaxing moment at the shore!

Mom, doing Mom things. We were a motley crew!  
My brother...one of the times he broke his collarbone.

She was maybe 14 or 15 here...and already a glamour queen.

Summer in Four Part Harmony

It has been a challenge to write the last two months because I'm not sure how or even what to say.  I have thought about it, I have journaled about it and yet I still don't have the right words.  I have considered several short posts, but who am I kidding?  I don't write short posts anymore.  I have started and even titled a couple of posts only to leave them neglected...for weeks.  Labor Day, the unofficial end to what has been an interesting summer, is now behind us.  One I will remember forever, for many different reasons and forget much of for the same reasons.  Maybe it can be explained in four sections.

Part 1

After our return from Spain, we entered what I will refer to as the Roseanne Roseannadanna part of the summer, because "It just goes to show ya, it's always something!".  Either it was the lawnmower that we had to repair not once but at least 3 times this summer for one reason or another, or you discover one missing shingle on your roof can cause a major flooding event in your attic that leaks down to the second floor through the doorways. Or you walk into your kitchen and discover your very old, very lame dishwasher is flowing all over the floor.  So, like Roseanne Roseannadanna says, "It just goes to show ya, it's always something!".  Life at the farmhouse is not all sunny skies, beautiful flowers and sunsets.

Super fun times in the attic catching rain.

How to get saturated insulation out of the attic and to the ground,
use a tarp and some creativity!

Once we said goodbye to Roseanne, we said hello to a short visit from a few rays of sunshine in the form of our daughter and her son and some actual sunshine!  This may have been the beginning of the very short "real summer" when it was hot, humid and sunny.  With my brand-new dishwasher, patched roof and operating lawnmower it felt like the tide had turned.  There were beach days, grandson smiles, lots of playing and seeing life through the eyes of a sweet two-year-old.  Little did I know these days would become the calm before the storm.  

Sweet memories!

He was "all in" on the beach!

Part 2

The day before they left, I got a phone call.  It was that phone call we all knew was coming...someday... but never want to answer.  "Mom is dying."  A few phone calls later and one frantically packed bag in hand, I was on my way to Baton Rouge.  When I arrived, Mom was being made comfortable in a hospice care facility and nearing the end of her life.  My sister, my brother and I (My other 2 sisters had seen mom the previous weekend and said what they thought might be their goodbye then.) spent time with her holding her hand, talking to her, reading to her, praying, and just being with her for the next week until she finally passed on July 26, 2023.  It was a privilege to be there with her for her final days. 

Watching someone in their final days, especially your mother, is profound.  I will venture to say, you never really know...until it is your mom.  Many of you have lost your mothers, and I sympathized with you, but I never understood so deeply what that experience was like...until it was my mom.  Knowing that there was a person in my life who loved me unconditionally was subconsciously comforting, something I knew deep down and probably took for granted many times.  Being a mother myself, I know that unconditional love because I feel it for my own children.  It is a love like no other.  Knowing she is gone brings it to light and leaves me feeling a bit lost or empty at times. She lived a good life, not without its challenges.  She believed in God, the value of hard work, marriage, family, a well-coordinated wardrobe, and dessert.  She always saw the best in us, even when we were not our best.  Her face lit up when her family visited, especially in her later years.  She was sweet and ever appreciative of the good things in her life.  

Surrounded by her wardrobe and smiling at her cottage.

She loved living in Louisiana.

In her happy place!

When I returned to the shore, I was different.  I was in the same place, with the same people I am with every summer, doing the same things, but I was not quite all here.  I am sure this is a normal experience.  Grief or some form of it?  I felt slightly detached.  Maybe due to my own exclusion or to the fact that when someone dies, other people don't always know what to say around the ones who are grieving.  I felt the same, or at least longed to feel the same, but I'm not the same.  I just muddled through this part of the summer.  

Part 3

There was then the part of the summer that was busy, active, full of family and provided me with ways to focus on other things.  I tried my best to enjoy where I was.  I have trouble doing this because I always know there is something happening somewhere else that I am missing during this part of the summer.  Yes, I am still 16 years old in some ways.  I really need to accept that when at the shore, there is always something else happening somewhere and currently we are unable to be two places at once.  My mantra has been, "enjoy where you are."  The only problem is, I was never completely where I was.  A little bit of me was missing.  

Here is a video of this wonderful, full time at the shore!

Part 4

The shore has slowed down now to a much smaller and quieter group.  The families with children have gone home for school and work and the seasonal vacationers have gone back to their "real" lives.  The colorful potted plants have been retired for the summer and the decks along the lane look starkly naked, the toys in the yards and on the beach are stored away until next year, the number of beach chairs on the beach has dwindled and the pull to sit on the beach is weakening.  We are here for a few more weeks and I have mixed feelings about this time.  Part of me embraces this time because I get to do the things I want to do and have put aside all summer.  This time is a quiet, slower paced, and less scheduled.  The weather this summer has been less than perfect...seemingly all over the continent!  We were the ones who got the very wet, cooler than normal summer weather.  As a result, I am embracing every sunny and remotely warm day like it was a newborn baby.  

Hoping there are more days like this left in our summer.

And hope to watch this show on repeat a few times!

I am taking this time to let it all sink in, all of the challenges and anxiety at the beginning of summer, the sorrow in the middle, the love of family and friends that followed and the peace and solitude of the end summer.  Will I remember everything that happened this summer?  Nope.  Will I remember one thing and how it was a turning point, yes.  Everything will go back to July 26, 2023, the day I joined so many in the world who have said that permanent earthly goodbye to both of their parents.  Now I understand.