Rome, Ruins and Rooftops

 Time to take a little vacation!  After over 2 weeks mostly spent in my house, I need to get out...even if it is virtually!  I have been saving our trip to Italy for just this purpose and I'm going to spread it out over several posts to make it last even longer.  Come along with us if you like, the pizza and gelato were excellent.  We spent 9 days in Italy at the end of March (and it is very hard to imagine that was a month ago!) with our daughter, her husband and their three sons on their spring break.  I think I can safely say, "A good time was had by all!".

How much do I love this?
I could end the blog right here and feel like all the bases have been covered!
Being up there with Capri, David and candy is high praise!

TJ and I arrived in Rome a day earlier than my daughter's family because we have more time these days and wanted an extra day to acclimate...so we could keep up with the youngsters.  We arrived at 7 a.m. and could not check into our Airbnb until 4 p.m.  A minor inconvenience which resulted in us dragging our luggage back and forth over cobblestones for several blocks to the Luggage Storage facility.  That is one way to stay awake after 4 hours of airplane sleep, but I don't recommend it.  

Back and forth, clackety clack went the wheels.

We stayed in the Navona area, which is near Piazza Navona and the Pantheon with narrow, cobblestone streets.  It is probably considered one of the more "touristy" neighborhoods which was perfect for our multi-generational trip. Very picturesque and historic, full of small restaurants with sidewalk seating, cute shops, little food stores, near many major "thing to see and do" and peaceful enough at night to sleep well.  It was a perfect place to expose three young men to Italy.  "Cobblestones be damned!" said the lady with the torn ACL wearing the knee brace.  Our arrival day went as most arrival days go.  We just put one foot in front of the other and kept moving until we checked in, showered, went to dinner and collapsed!  

Here we sit with our cobblestone weary bags waiting to meet our host.

Dinner at Taverna Angelica
 We celebrated our 30th anniversary here, with good friends, many moons ago.

Traveling abroad after over 2 years of "lockdown" was so exciting.  We felt like our dreams for retirement actually may come true someday.  We were exhausted and giddy all at the same time.  There is something about ancient walls, beautiful historic buildings, sidewalk cafes, rooftop bars, something new around every corner and being surrounded by history that draws us in and keeps us wanting more.  It only took us a few hours and a good lunch to get our travel gears moving.  I pinched myself and smiled, because we were here!  One...or two things about dinner.  Being married to a sentimental pack-rat has its advantages at times.  TJ found the business card for Taverna Angelica, from a trip in 2008, and made reservations for arrival night.  Always good to have a plan for the first night because thinking and decision making are always compromised after a long travel day.  One advantage of being the first customers of the night (earliest available reservation in anticipation of jet lag) is that we received much personal attention from the owner.  She was super hospitable and we were treated to all the bells and whistles!  After dinner we strolled along the river and collapsed in bed when we made it back.

Amuse-bouche
the little taco looking one (duck pate) was AMAZING!!!

The walk home is always enchanting.

The rest of the crew arrived the next day and we treated them to our "first day survival system".  The day was not without dragging suitcases along cobblestones again...so glad I didn't buy a new suitcase for this trip.  There was pizza, lots of walking (10 miles), ancient ruins, great views, gelato, and a surprising dinner.  We found ourselves in the Jewish Ghetto neighborhood on our way "home" and ate dinner at a kosher...vegetarian restaurant.  Never saw that coming.  Luckily for John, Margherita pizza was on the menu.  Focaccia, artichokes, gnocchi, fish and pasta were enjoyed by all.

I must say, on this trip we lucked out on accommodations.  TJ and I stayed in a small Airbnb our first night and moved to the 4 bedroom house we rented for the entire group the next day.  They were across the street from each other...convenient, unless of course you count the 4 hours between check out and check in with no early...or late bag storage provided.  Luggage Storage and cobblestones again.  The Airbnb in Rome was large and light with its own courtyard and sauna.  Yeah...everyone needs a sauna, right?  The seven of us slept comfortably and we had 3 bathrooms...key.

"I didn't sleep much on the plane...you?"
"Nope"

Our days in Rome consisted of Arrival Days one and two, spent putting one foot in front of the other.  Day 3 was Ancient Rome Day when we visited the Coliseum, the Forum and the Trevi Fountain to name a few.  Day 4 was Vatican Day when we toured the Vatican gardens, the Vatican Museum, the Sistine Chapel and St. Peter's Basilica.  The adults in the group had seen some of these and so we geared activities towards the boys and their Roman education.  We all saw and learned new things in the process too!  They really liked Ancient Rome day, no surprise.  

Roman Holiday!

We really enjoyed the food in Rome!  Seriously, who doesn't love the food in Italy?  One entertaining lunch happened after our Coliseum visit.  We sought out a Rick Steves recommendation for lunch.  All the outside tables were occupied, so we sat inside.  The place was small and intimate...and the waiter unamused.  I felt like he belonged in NYC (no offense to anyone in NYC) but he had this "I don't have time for you people" attitude.  The place has been in business since 1945!  We managed to order lunch and drinks quick enough for our surly waiter, who little by little warmed up to us.  He was, after all, the only waiter working the tables, so I'll give him a little latitude.  The beer was cold, the food was authentic, the patrons were Italian, and the place did Rick proud.  One patron stopped and chatted with us as he paid his bill and said he lived right across the street and had been coming here for over 20 years.  Gotta love surly waiters, good food and local patrons.

4e 4'Otto
That's our table on the right!

TJ and I have now visited Rome three times.  Each time I like it more.  The first time was in 2008 with a large group of friends from Georgia.  We had a guide and our pastor, who was very familiar with Rome.  I remember being overwhelmed and awed at the same time with Rome on that trip.  We saw all of the "must-see" places, but it was such a short stop it left me feeling like we had only scratched the surface.  Our next trip was in 2018, with our "anniversary friends".  This time I felt like we really got to know Rome on our own terms.  We planned it ourselves and followed our noses where they led us and were rewarded.  After that trip, I felt like I finally experienced Rome.  This time we wanted to see Rome for the first time again, through our grandsons' eyes.  

Everyone knows how much I love a good sunset so it will come as no surprise that the place we went not once but twice for late afternoon cocktails was on the rooftop of the Hotel Atlante Star near the Vatican.  Roof Garden Les Etoiles is worth two visits!  We were not exactly blessed with the perfect sunset but the 360 view from the top and the amazing flowers are worth a repeat visit in my book.  We went on our first night, alone and had to share the experience with the rest of the family.  The boys really appreciated the "free" snacks provided with drinks on the terrace.

The entire terrace is surrounded by this amazingness!

It was very chilly up top....somebody had to borrow my sweater!

Worth a repeat visit!

The view is always the best at the top!

I could post hundreds of photos from our time in Rome, and probably did on FB and Instagram, so no need here.  Suffice it to say, the time in Rome was well spent and after the first three days, the boys are embracing their Italian Spring Break.  Arrivederci Roma.

Week 1 ACL Surgery Recovery

Prepare yourself for some oversharing.... because, I'm not going anywhere, and I have plenty of time to think and write.  Plus, before my surgery, I searched and searched for any firsthand information from a woman over 50 having this experience.  Seems all the blogs and vlogs I found were by 20-year-old, super athletic, influencer Wanna-Be types...not exactly my demographic.  After starting this post, and adding to it little by little, I would say my "carpe diem" approach to life before surgery may have backfired on me.  Going from golf 3 days a week, a trip to Italy, and walking over 60,000 steps a week to staying home an entire week and moving from one room to another and walking about 2,000 steps in a week, is an abrupt change!  Things can only go up.

4:30 a.m.
April 6, 2022
How long until I stand, unassisted, on both legs?
Also, very glad I wore the jacket!  It was cold!

April 6

Up at 4:15 a.m. after sleeping pretty well...all things considered.

We were at the surgery center at 5 a.m. along with the first employees who opened the doors for us. I will say, being the only patient at "dark-o'clock" was a luxury.  I had well rested nurses in the quiet of early morning and it made for a very gentle experience.  The staff was wonderful, and I felt very cared for.

I received a nerve block in my right leg.  That may have been the most painful part of the day.  Getting the injections for the nerve block in the crease of my upper thigh was painful...and ticklish!  It was also the only place I felt pain, post-surgery.  But...the nerve block was luxurious!  For any women who have had an epidural, it was that kind of localized relief for at least 24 hours.

7 a.m. surgery- no idea how long it was or what happened!  I hear it went well and the doctor showed TJ pictures of his work and said my knee looks great!  The meniscal tears were very small and he cleaned them up as well as grafting my new ACL.

9:40 a.m.- I woke up in recovery.  I was shivering like I was in a blizzard!  Full teeth-chattering, shaking, shivering.  Thankfully, the lovely nurse administered some Demerol and some other IV drug to stop the shivering and calm me down.  Ahhh

My leg was in what will from here on out be referred to the "big black brace of torture".  A long, black, brace, locked in the straight position, very rigid and digs into my leg in awkward places.  It is heavy (2 lbs.) and I do not like it at all!  As much as I hate it, I must admit, I have had no trouble at all sleeping in the contraption.  Which is a miracle!  

Yup, that is me, now I am a "fall risk"  whoo hoo!

Day 1 

flew by since we got home at 11, ate something for lunch after fasting from the night before. Then someone came over with a CPM (Continuous Passive Motion) machine and set it up on the sofa, so I can watch TV during the countless hours I will be spending having my leg moved back and forth.  I am supposed to do the machine 6 hours a day for 2 hours at a time.  I assume my heart is supposed to be below my knee for this, which makes reclining for that long every day, uncomfortable.  The motion does not hurt at all and mentally, I find myself feeling like it is helping.  To quote the fellow who delivered it, "motion is lotion".  I'm going with that!

So between my 6 hours in the CPM, followed by 30 minutes to an hour strapped to the ice machine, my day if done!

By the end of day 1, I did find I was suffering from all kinds of stomach distress.  Thank to anesthesia, pain pills and antibiotics.  Ugh!  This is the part no one tells you about!  Meanwhile, the knee is still enjoying the nerve block. 

Day2

Woke up, after a medium night of sleep.  

Started with the CPM, ice, rest.  

Pain level- still not feeling too much pain, unless you count stomach cramps and gas pain.

Mood- not too bad, looking forward to spending my day watching the Masters and very happy for the lovely spring weather and the open windows.

This may have been the easiest day in hindsight.

Day 3

Slept like a baby.  I think I figured out how the sleep solidly with the brace on and when to take that nighttime pain medicine.

The nerve block has definitely worn off.  I am not feeling any knee pain aside from feeling a few stitches which I assume is where the incisions are pulling.  I was surprised by this.  I expected much more pain.

Again, what I did not expect was the stomach distress (constipation).  

By the end of this day, I was done.  I was getting grumpy and my armpits were sore from using the crutches.  I think this is the day reality set in.  Yes, it was beautiful outside.  Yes, my husband is working overtime and doing his best to do it all. Yes, the Masters is on...ALL day long.  But man, I feel like crap...or just wish I could.  hahaha!

Day 4

Slept fine until 5:30 a.m. when severe stomach cramps woke me up.  Back to sleep and then...sweet relief.

Decided to give up the pain meds in hopes of some intestinal relief.  Transitioned to ibuprofen.  The knee pain is still minimal so I don't really need heavy duty pain meds.

Things are feeling a bit Groundhog Day-ish.  6 hours in the CPM, several hours in the ice machine, and golf on the TV all day long.  I guess it could be worse, but at this point I am wondering how.

By the end of the day, my stomach had calmed down but I was pretty grumpy.  I do think it was my lowest day.  I was just over it.  I guess you have to hit rock bottom to turn around and come back.  

Day 5

Still sleeping well and thankful.  Extra thankful for the calm stomach. 

Final day of the Masters, which I can thank for taking my mind mostly off my first week of recovery.  It was great to have hours upon hours of golf to vicariously experience.  Congratulations to my new hero, Scottie Scheffler!  And did you see that bunker shot Rory McIlroy made...followed by the one his playing partner, Colin Morikawa, made?  Watch here.  Amazing!  Made me love and miss golf even more!

The knee feels a bit battered from the "big black brace of torture".  After 3 years of never being sick, I have found sitting in the same room for 5 days a real challenge!  Other than the day after my Covid shots, I have been super healthy...except that day I tore my ACL.  Even then, the pain was very localized, and I didn't feel sick or helpless.  This being on crutches is for the birds!  I have had to devise all kinds of methods of carrying things from here to there.  I am not used to being waited on and he is not used to waiting on me.  Talk about a role change.

Pockets double as drink holders now.

He is doing his best.  I am finding out just how particular I am about so many things.  Having to "let it go" is humbling.

Day 6

I took a shower!!! Best feeling all week, by far!  Washed my hair, shaved one leg...it was awesome.  It took both of us and some creativity, but it was totally worth it.  Never underestimate the power of a shower!  I am already building up strength for the next shower!

Day 7

Today is TJ's birthday.  Probably not going down as one of his favorites.  It just is what it is.  He did get to play golf, although poorly.  I am cooking tonight...with my credit card.  I had a very nice friend come over for lunch and had the house cleaning people clean the house today.  Pretty banner day so far.

Had to go in to the dr. office to have them adjust the "big black brace of torture".  I saw stars this morning after my "treadmill" time on the CPM when I put the thing back on.  They adjusted it and it didn't hurt as much, but when I got home, I realized one of the locks was unlocked and flexing therefore forcing the brace to dig in on one side.  So much better, if there is such a thing with the BBBT.  Bonus...getting out of the house.

End of week stats:

Pain level- minimal, managed with ibuprofen

Weight loss/gain- minus 2 pounds   (sadly, probably all in my right leg!)

Mood- hanging in there and anxious to get out...to real physical therapy.  (yeah, I know, be careful what you wish for)  Very thankful for everyone who has reached out by calling or texting or sending care packages, it really means a lot!  Makes me want to be a better friend to those in need!

Accomplishments- took a shower!  Off the pain meds!  Figuring out how to get myself and some stuff from here to there.  Consistently doing CPM machine and increasing flexion, currently at 75 degrees.  Doing leg lifts and quad isolations daily.  Have not killed my husband yet.  Have not sunk into deep depression yet.  Zero wine or other alcoholic beverages for 8 days...but who is counting?  

So there it is, everything you never wanted to know about week 1, post ACL surgery.  Congratulations for getting to the end of this, it is a bit long, but I have nothing else to do! Working on staying positive and engaged, even though it is a challenge.  Looking forward, more and more, to being able to use both legs unassisted.  That will be a banner day!

I think for my next post I will have to go back and live in the past...as in Italy!

Oh....and HAPPY EASTER!!!

A Note to Myself in April 2023

 

April 2022

Today is the "day before".  I thought I would document this day and make a note on my April 6, 2023 calendar to re-read this post to see just how far I have come.  I am doing this with hopes that a year from now I will be in a better place than I am today or have been since February 2nd.  If that is not the case, then darn!  I am also doing this to have some measurable progress reports and maybe some other 60-something year old woman can read this and know what she is facing as far as ACL surgery goes, because frankly there is not a lot of information out there for women "our age".  Apparently, this is a young person's injury and a young person's recovery story.  People our age should be sitting on the sofa, eating ice cream and watching television.  Things are definitely changing.  Although, there may be a day (or two) in the next few months that I am definitely sitting on the sofa eating ice cream and watching television. 

Knowing that tomorrow I will feel a lot worse than I do at this moment is unsettling.  To think I am doing this voluntarily may indicate insanity to some.  I wonder myself.  Planning for the future has never been my strong suit and this is definitely in the "planning for the future" category.  If I want to do all I want to do in the future, then under the knife I go.  

Current status:

Mood- anxious, nervous, hesitant

Pain level- minimal

Swelling- some, but not a ton

It is the one on the right.  I was even starting 
to get a knee brace tan to match my sock tan!

Activity level-

I played golf twice this week and took my usual walk today.  

I have done my pre-hab exercises "almost" every day.  

I decided to log my walk as a goal for the future.  I found myself wondering how long it will be before I can walk as far and at a similar pace again.  Hoping this does more to motivate me rather than depress me.  

My last walk with my torn ACL
and damaged meniscus.
Goal for the future!

Weight- hahaha!  None of your business!

Height- 2 inches too short for my weight!

Range of Motion- I can straighten my leg completely and bend it more than 90 degrees but not quite as far as the other leg.  Straightening does not hurt at all; bending is a lot harder and hurts past maybe 110 degrees.  

I have no idea how long it will be until I get back to where I came from in this process.  I do know I am going to have painful days, less painful days, boring days and days I feel isolated.  Days I feel like I have taken two steps forward and ones I feel like I am going backwards.  I am hoping that maybe part of the last 2 years has set me up for the isolation, thanks Covid lockdown for something.  Maybe I need to break out the puzzles again or the coloring books.  Hoping to update my progress weekly and looking forward to sharing some of our trip to Italy once I am awake and alert long enough to string together cohesive sentences!  It will be something to look forward to, at least for me!

I have no expectations for the first week except to get through it!  I plan to follow the doctor's instructions, do as prescribed, hope for the best and try to stay positive.  I did meet a woman yesterday who has become my inspiration.  She is 69 years old, in great shape and has a decent golf game.  She said she had the same surgery when she was in her 50's and said she was out and about in 6 weeks.  She said it was not nearly as bad as she expected and judging by her mobility level at 69, she is a success story!  She gave me some very encouraging words and they were just what I needed.  

I do think it is a cruel joke that I have to arrive at the surgery center at 5 a.m.!  (I am such a morning person😂) At least I will be my doctor's first surgery of the day!  I have big plans to catch up on my sleep when I get home!

The Last Hurrah....For a While

At this time tomorrow I should be sitting in the Newark airport anxiously awaiting the boarding call for our first flight across the pond in over 2 years.  Maybe I won't be as anxious as I am right now...but I might.  International travel is so different these days!  To say we have had to jump through a few hoops is an understatement.  Add to the forms we have had to fill out and papers we need to be sure we have access to at all times, the ever-changing rules and regulations for travel in the times of Covid and you find yourself questioning everything.  Plus, there is the added uncertainty as to whether in 10 days when we have to fill out more forms and jump through more hoops to come home, if the rules will have changed again.  No reason for anxiety at all.  Not to mention the more serious stuff like, "what clothes do I pack for temperatures from 30-60 F?"  "What pants can I pack that go with my knee brace?"  "How many pairs of shoes do I need? Can't they see I am wearing a knee brace?  Cute boots or flats are just not working for me right now."  Yes, we are looking forward to the trip and I am hoping as soon as my feet walk out of the airport on the other side, I will breathe a deep sigh of relief and it will all be worth it!

Looking forward to strolling over these bridges again!

Let's just say, I am trying to make the most of the days I have left before my post-surgery recovery begins.  With each passing day, since February 2nd, my knee has felt better.  There was that one day...after the time I walked "as far as I could" just to see how far my limit was, that I "felt it"...a lot!  Some rest, elevation and ice were on the menu the next day.  At least now I know my limit.  To say my knee is on my mind for much of each day is an understatement, although thankfully, I am not in constant pain.  I really look forward to the day it never even enters my mind!  For now, I am diligently doing my exercises, icing and elevating when possible, and paying attention to my body.  I figure, the stronger I am going into surgery, the stronger I will be coming out.  

Speaking of surgery, the date has been set for April 6.  I plan to live it up until then...relatively speaking!  Sadly, I know I am going to feel a lot better going in than I will coming out.  I am trying to mentally prepare myself for this smack down, but can one really prepare to be smacked into 6 months of rehab?  I just keep telling myself I am going to take it one day at a time.  Talk about a drastic way to make a person focus on the present.

Before I get smacked down though...we are heading to the land of pasta and gelato.  We had lots of other plans for the spring, and it took a few weeks to rearrange those plans.  We now have a very busy Fall to provide rehab motivation!  One thing that did not get cancelled was a trip to Italy with our oldest daughter, her husband and their 3 sons.  When my doctor said, " Take your trip to Italy, we will do surgery when you get back." it was music to my ears.  It also motivated me even more to do those exercises every day!  Italy has been a giant carrot dangling in front of me.  I am looking at it as my last hurrah before the giant smack down and the long road home.  I plan to savor every minute.  Even the minutes spent lost, tired, arguing, cold, wet and hungry in a foreign country...because they will inevitably be part of the experience too.  Arrivederci!

Gutted

It was all sunshine and blue skies the first two and a half days!

And just like that...everything changed. At 12:30 on 02/02/22 I was flying down a mountain, well maybe not flying...but exceeding my internal speed limit, when I decided to slow down and turn.  Not exactly sure what came first the pop of my knee or the fall, but I was down, and I knew I wasn't going to be skiing much more that day.  With the help of two kind men, I was able to get my skis off, get up, put my skis back on and ski, ever so slowly and carefully, down to a lift and ask for them to call ski patrol.  Funny how life can change in a moment.

You can't see it, but I am giving the camera a very "mean" face. 
Not the way I was hoping to get to the bottom of a ski hill...ever again!

As we stood there waiting for the ski patrol to arrive so many thoughts went through my head.  How bad is this?  So much for skiing this week... or this year! Is this going to require surgery?  Will I ever ski again...and if I can, do I dare?  What are we going to do about all of those plans we made for the spring?  Am I going to have to ride down the mountain in the "sled of shame" again?  Maybe they will just let me sit on the back of the snowmobile?  Wishful thinking.  It was back in the "sled of shame" for me.  At least this time I was feeling a lot better than the last time I got a free ride to the bottom.  Luckily this time, the first place I went to was not the hospital, it was to the mountain clinic.  X-rays were done, nothing was broken.

When you fall skiing, there is a risk of a head injury.  Yes, I was wearing a helmet and "no" I did not hit my head.  The medical staff asked me many times, my birthdate and what happened, presumably to check for any head injury.  I passed.  Unfortunately, I also had to tell rooms full of people how old I was, my height and ....my weight.  No problems with that one, right ladies?  Yeah, so far...not one of my favorite days.

If I heard it once, I heard it several times...."at your age, blah blah blah".  You would think I was 90 years old!  I don't even qualify for Medicare yet, (thank you very much) which turns out to be a big problem when your husband is retired and on Medicare and you are not.  Things are a lot more complicated in healthcare limbo.  No worries, just a temporary pain in the ass.  The clinic gave me a nice, hinged brace, which has become my new best friend, and told me to be sure to see an orthopedic doctor when I got home. The rest of the ski week was spent resting, icing, compressing and elevating (RICE) on the couch in the condo.

Experiencing some serious FOMO perched on the sofa.

The next morning, I woke up, in pain.  After TJ served me breakfast, made tea for me and I was safely perched on the sofa for the day, he went skiing.  Before he left, he dutifully turned on the dishwasher.  I sat and looked out of the window and tried not to cry.  After about an hour I hobbled my way to the bathroom and noticed I could still hear the water running, which I had assumed was the dishwasher...which should have been done by then.  I had a sinking feeling I might look into the kitchen and see water coming out from under the dishwasher all over the kitchen floor, but there wasn't.  I could still hear water though.  I went back into the bathroom and then I realized it... the giant-jetted-hot-tub in the bedroom had water running into it.  A litany of swear words flew out of my mouth when I went in and saw 2 ski boots and 3 suitcases floating in a hot tub with the water level almost to the top!  Just what me and my injured knee needed today!  Apparently, when TJ sat on the edge of the tub to put on his socks, he accidentally turned the faucet on and did not hear the water running over the dishwasher.  I didn't hear it either... because the dishwasher was running.  A comedy of errors.  All I can say is boy am I glad I had to go to the bathroom!

And why, you may ask, do we store our bags in the tub?
Because, it is huge, we never use it, and there is no other storage for this stuff in the condo.

If I was worried about getting any exercise that day, I had no worries now.  Suitcases full of water are VERY heavy!  The water was HOT so plunging my arm in to pull up the drain was exciting.  Thankfully, during my panic, a friend called to see how my knee was doing and managed to talk me through the clean-up.  Fireplace to the rescue!  After I emptied the tub, then the water out of the suitcases and the boots, I wiped everything off and lined it up in front of the fire.  The rest of the afternoon was spent on the couch rotating suitcases and boots in front of the fireplace.  Can't make this stuff up!

This is how you dry your suitcases
when they finish relaxing in the hot tub.

The rest of my ski week was spent running one scenario after another through my head.  I decided not to get too upset just yet because we did not know exactly what was wrong with my knee.  It could be a minor injury, or it could be a bigger issue.  Judging by the pop and the pain, I had a sneaking suspicion it was more than a minor issue.  The waiting game begins.

Once we got home, I went to see an orthopedic surgeon on a Wednesday.  He sent me in for an MRI on Thursday.  Finally, on Tuesday the doctor called with the results.  The minute I heard the word ACL I knew it was bad news.  Full ACL tear and partial medial meniscal tear.  He suggests surgery, especially if I want to lead an active life.  Plus, he did not say, "At your age..."   he said, "You are too young not to do this."   Can he turn back the hands of time on the rest of my body when he goes in?  To quote a Great British Baking Show contestant when they get eliminated, I was "gutted" after the phone call.  

When do I have time to go in and have a surgery that will take 8-12-24 weeks to recover and rehab from?  Before TJ retired, he made sure he scheduled a trip or activity every month from February through September.  Something is going to have to give.  Choices are going to have to be made and sacrifices will happen.  I am pretty sure that the top thing on his retirement "things to do" list was not "take care of your wife after she has knee surgery".  I feel terrible!  And I'm not just talking about my knee.

If you know anything about me, you know I am busy trying to figure out how to have my cake and eat it too.  How can I go on "some" of the scheduled trips, have surgery, rehab, and move on with life?  Retirement was supposed to be so much better!  After 2 years of a pandemic, putting big plans on hold, now we have the time, only to be put on hold once again.  I am sure there is some deeper cosmic meaning and lesson to be learned from all of this, but I am currently not in the right mind to see it.  Maybe my perspective will all be in hindsight.

Deciding whether to run...or hobble in and have surgery now or postpone it until after at least one of our "already planned and scheduled" events is my current dilemma.  I know...first world problems.

I am also acutely aware that 6 months is a proportionately larger part of the life I have left to live than it used to be.  Not to be morbid, just being real. Time and days are suddenly at a premium. Why waste a few months being in pain and postponing the inevitable?  Regardless, ACL reconstruction and meniscal repair surgery is in my near future.  Yipee!  

If any of you out there have experience with this surgery, I am all ears.  How long did it take you to feel even close to normal?  What should I expect?  Putting my life on hold for at least 3 months is slightly overwhelming right now.  So... I am gutted.  Stay tuned for a better attitude.  

A Tale of Two Seasons

It occurred to me tonight as we were on a shuttle from Main Street in Park City to our hotel, that I do have to thank the pandemic for one thing.  Because, really, what is a pandemic if nothing good can come of it?  We are here on at least our 20th ski trip to the area, yes, we are thankful!  We have been coming here since either 1996 or 97, in ski season.  Until the year 2020, I only knew this place as a ski destination. A place covered in snow with trees all lit up with white lights at night and people bundled up, full of life, after a day of fresh air on the ski slopes.  I had friends who spent their summers here and raved about what a great place it was in the summer and told us we should visit sometime in the summer... but we spend our summers in Nova Scotia.  That is...until 2020.  

The Park City I knew and loved!

In the year 2020, we were unable to go to Nova Scotia for the summer and we came here instead.  We did the same thing in 2021, until we could finally get into Canada. They were all correct!  This is a great place to be in the summer.  Being able to experience both summer and winter in Park City has been a real treat.  Tonight, we were remembering riding our bikes to town for a 4th of July parade.  We ate dinner very close to where we parked our bikes, it brought back fond memories.  I like the fact that I now know what those golf courses look like when they are green...and white!  I like that I know what the ski slopes look like in the off season. 

The view from my bike last summer. 
 I'll be skiing those mountains this week!

  

Having come here for several weeks, two summers in a row, I feel differently towards Park City.  She has so many different dimensions now.  I know what the views out of the church windows look like in two seasons.  Believe me, those windows are inspirational in either season!  I know the buzz in town at night after a great day on the ski slopes in addition to the buzz on the streets in the summer on the weekend during Park Silly Market.  I have now played golf on those courses that I look down on from the ski slopes.  I rode my bike on those now icy, snowy streets last summer and ate meals at the same places under fans and now heat lamps. 

I know this may not be news to some of you who live in places with distinctly different seasons, but for this Texas girl, it is a big deal.  Tonight, I was very happy to feel a kinship with my 2nd or 3rd "home"...at least for the last 2 years.  Thank you, pandemic.

2021...The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat

Welcome 2022...if you are nice to us, you can become our favorite year of the '20's so far!  Competition is not that tough though.  I have heard so many people say that 2021 was a bad year for them and they are looking forward to 2022 being a lot better. I sure hope they all get their wish! January is when many of us review the past year and consider what we hope the new year will bring.  To me, last year flew by on first reflection, but upon closer examination, it was a long year!  Think of where we started, where we have been and where we finally ended up.  Last year began with the death of my father and the birth of a grandson.  I am pretty sure those two events set the stage for what would be a year not unlike the old catch phrase from the Wide World of Sports opening.  "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat"  only in reverse.

Last year it seemed every dark moment was followed by a moment of hope and optimism which in turn was followed by darkness and the cycle repeated itself over and over.  I find myself not even knowing how to feel sometimes.  Consider last January.  Aside from the personal emotional rollercoaster of that month, the world was reeling from a spike in Covid cases, thanks to the holidays.  And who can blame us?  After almost a year of "flattening the curve" people just needed to be with their families.  Anyhow...January was when the first doses of the vaccine were being distributed and with them came some hope.  The next few months were spent trying to get as many of us vaccinated with the hope of making Covid go away.  Hope.  Those dark days of January were followed by the spring, and we all were feeling "protected" and finally comfortable to go out to dinner, get together with friends, shop, maybe even travel.  By May we were practically giddy.  And by June our new friend Delta entered the picture.  You see where I am going with this as far as Covid is concerned.  Every time we felt like we had this thing under control, felt free to live our lives and did, something changed, and we ended up at what keeps feeling like Groundhog Day.  The thrill of victory followed by the agony of defeat.

2021 seemed like a pretty good year to me, all things considered. After spending so much time alone together in 2020, we enjoyed the relative freedom of being with friends and family in 2021.  In 2021 we traveled around the states again but this year, we felt so much safer...until we didn't.  In 2021 we began the summer still wondering if and when we would be able to visit Nova Scotia, a bit defeating.  Then we found out we could visit in August, thrill of victory!  

There was that family vacation we planned in Park City at the beginning of August that completely fell apart due to Covid complications.  Thrill of victory followed by agony of defeat, followed by me unexpectedly able to fly to San Francisco to help my daughter and her family move into their new home.  Our year was spent making plans, adjusting our plans, cancelling our plans and making new plans.  Through it all, we did try our best to make the most of our days.  

We finally made it to Nova Scotia again in 2021 and any year we make it to the shore is a good year.  Thrill of victory.  We also had to jump through a few hoops to get there and back but they were worth it.  

After a Thanksgiving for 2 in 2020, we celebrated with 7 other people in 2021.  It was luxurious!  We were definitely thankful for the blessing of being together and being healthy.  Christmas 2021 was full of family...thrill of victory, but not unaffected by Covid cancellations...agony of defeat.  While we certainly missed the ones who could not travel, we were thankful for the ones who could.  I still find myself wondering what we are supposed to all learn and take away from the last 2 years.  Count the blessings in front of us?  Be flexible?  Don't worry or celebrate too much because it is all going to change soon? 

 I am not sure how this year is going to stack up.  One thing for sure, it will be a year like no other for us.  Today marks the last day of work for TJ.  After a career covering 44 years, 5 relocations, 15 different bosses, 6 different companies, thousands of miles flown and driven, hundreds of sales calls made as well as conferences attended and a few "side deals", he is retiring.  This uncharted territory has us feeling both excited and terrified.  I am sure that TJ being TJ, will figure out a way to fill his days over capacity with many legitimate and/or outlandish activities.  A few years ago, BC (before Covid), we looked forward to TJ's retirement and had big plans to travel around the world, or at least part of it, for an extended time.  We saved for this.  We dreamed about it.  It was a giant carrot dangling in front of us at the end of his career.  Those plans were put on the back burner sometime in 2020 just waiting for a bright green light to motivate us to start planning again.  My hope is that we are able to finally take this trip before we are too old and decrepit.  A friend shared a funny thought in her Christmas letter this year.  She said we are in the Go-Go years which will be followed by the Go-Slow years and end with our No-Go years.  We just want to Go while we still have it!

I for one, am hoping 2022 is less of a roller coaster and more of a monorail ride.  High in the air, moving forward at a steady pace. Cheers to 2022!  May you be the year we all want and need!