Condolences and Congratulations

 Hello 2021!

Last year was one for the history books.  To think that turning one digit on the calendar would magically change our world may be wishful thinking, but maybe we could all use some wishful thinking right now.  At least I feel like there is a glimmer of hope that this year will be better than last year.  Wishful thinking?

We spent the last 5 weeks with our daughter, her husband and occasionally his parents, in California waiting for the arrival of their first child, due the first week of January.  Our pod of six felt luxurious to TJ and I after our ten days of "quarantine" and the previous several months spent alone...together.  Living with other people felt so decadent!  Not sure how the other people felt but we kinda liked it!

I did not mind the views on my daily walks at all!

Meanwhile, back home, my Dad's health took a turn for the worse, he was back in the hospital and entering his last days in this world.  He did get his final wish, which was to go home.  After being out of his comfortable home for almost two months, he was taken back for his final days.  He passed, on December 31, 2020, with my mother and one of my sisters by his side.  I hear it was peaceful.  He lived 90 years and had the love of my Mother for the last 64 of them.  If you are interested in reading his obituary you can go here.  It truly captures my Dad and my sister did a great job of writing it in all of our voices.  New Year's Eve will forever be changed.  What a way to end the year that was 2020. 

The emotions of the first week of the year ran the gambit of sorrow, sadness, anticipation, happiness, confusion, indecision, decision, guilt, gratitude, pride, sheer joy, love and everything in between.  To miss my father's last days was heartbreaking.  Time missed being with my siblings and my mother during that week can never be replaced.  I felt like I was in an alternate universe of suspended animation.  It is hard to feel what I know I should be feeling without the company of my siblings and my mother.  My mourning seems incomplete until I can be with them.

Meanwhile, we were able to experience one of life's most miraculous events.  The birth of a baby and the immediate love that is poured out when they enter this world is one of life's greatest gifts. Being able to cradle that sweet boy and just look at him for hours was perfection.  Being there to help my daughter and her husband through those emotional and exhausting first days home together was a priviledge.  My Dad knew that I would be in California for the birth.  We already had our last moments and words even though we may not have known it for sure.  He was very excited about the new baby on the way, he loved family.  He would have beamed seeing that sweet little face.  I am sure he is looking down and beaming now.  

August Mott Owen
born January 6, 2021

Making the choice of staying in California or going to Baton Rouge for the funeral Mass was gut wrenching.  If we were not in a pandemic with so many health risks involved, I would have bought a round trip ticket in a flash.  Life is not that simple these days.  We put in the time and effort to be virus free for the birth of the baby and the weeks to follow, the decision had been made.  It was not an easy one.  I had my Mother's blessing to stay in California and so we did.   

Baby August was one week old when we watched his great grandfather's funeral Mass on the television.  It was a beautiful ceremony, even on the live stream.  Funerals are very different in a pandemic.  There is no hugging, very few people can or do even attend, and everyone is sitting far apart mourning in their own space.  I was very thankful for the live stream option!  I am also glad I was able to watch with my daughter, her husband and baby August, free to hug each other and cry together.  What an emotional roller coaster!  To say goodbye to someone who raised me and made me the person I am while holding an innocent, perfect little boy who is his great grandson and was loved by him even before he was born was profound and poetic.

The circle of life

I am back home now, biding my time for a bit after flying, before I finally go to Baton Rouge to see my family.  I went through my 5 weeks of mail when I got home.  I loved reading all of the Christmas cards and letters I missed while I was gone.  I also came home to sympathy cards full of kind words from friends and family.  There you have it.  January 2021... a month of mixed emotions full of condolences and congratulations.