A little Sunday reflection from last week for everyone.
It happened again! Last night I went to bed very tired and expected to fall right to sleep. It had been a beautiful day here at the shore. As it happens somedays, I crammed a bit too much into the day and had a moment of exhaustion made worse by hunger and this combination may or may not have resulted in a less than hospitable environment. Like I said, I went to bed expecting to fall right to sleep but my brain had too much to process and would not allow it. I ran through every possible issue, solution, situation, scenario, expectation, emotion...real and perceived and came up with no answers, only more questions. I tried everything to try to fall asleep and quiet the gerbil in my brain. I tried praying, I tried meditating, I tried tossing and turning, I tried and tried to turn it off with no success. This is not unfamiliar territory at this point in the summer at the shore. I seem to have difficulty combining the things I think I should do with the things I want to do and this results in me not sleeping because I am convinced there is a way to have my cake and eat it too, because in my mind everyone else is doing this with ease.
After my restless night we went to church this morning. As I walked into the church I suddenly thought to myself, "I bet this is the Martha and Mary Sunday". The minute the priest started talking I knew I was right. The gospel was indeed about Martha and Mary. After seriously considering not going to church and just catching up on my sleep, I knew there was a reason I was there. It was like every word spoken was an answer to my prayer. The perspective I was missing. The calm for my soul. This reading has meant different things to me at different times in my life, as I am sure it has to many people. There were times in my life that were far more carefree and there was not as much "stuff that needed to be done" to keep me from what I thought was the better part. Then there were the years when the "stuff that needed to be done" was overwhelming and I became resentful that others were not helping and were all enjoying the better part...in my mind's eye. There is a fine line between doing what needs to be done and enjoying the better part. The better part, in the reading, is quiet time spend in reflection with God. There were times I mistakenly figured the better part was just sitting around in conversation having a good time, which I am always up for! But today, it hit me that the better part may be those quiet moments that feed us and give us the bandwidth, so to speak, to find that balance between the things we ought to do and the things we want to do.
Life at the shore always perplexes me. I so much want to do it all! I want to work around the farmhouse and fix it up and enjoy the yard and share it with everyone. I also want to take walks, sit on the beach, read books, visit with every single person within a 3 mile radius, share meals with friends and family. I want quiet time to "just be"....and social time with laughter and/or thoughtful conversations. Inevitably, I struggle with finding the time to take care of the need for clean clothes, a clean house and cooked meals and the want of social time spent on the beach, the golf course or with friends and family at night. Maybe the answer is in the better part which can provide the balance and perspective I really need to enjoy all parts of life here and maybe even help me sleep at night.
And for your viewing enjoyment, a few photos from the week of trying to embrace the better part!
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What happens when you tell Augie we are going in the truck... wasting no time! |
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Paella by chef Chris! |
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Morning quiet time and sunlit tomatoes |
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One super happy mom with her water baby! |
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Augie really loves his storage tub bathtub! Necessity is the mother of invention! |
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Sheer joy! |
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Picked some lettuce!!! Yes, it is delicious! |
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Built a rocking chair and have enjoyed several evenings rocking on the deck. |
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Just love the clothes on the line after a day on the beach! |
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Farmer's Market side trip bonus! |
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More grandchildren arrive and the water games continue. |
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Picking berries in the yard. |
Lisa, I really identify with this post. I think most women our age have struggled with this our whole lives. Is it the time in which we grew up? Did we try to be Supermoms? I have finally begun to really enjoy myself and learn to prioritize my To Do lists. I have moved the things I want to do - like enjoy my family, garden, home further up the list! I realize I deserve it! I am much happier now and see now, things I thought were so important (like cleaning, cooking and laundry) can wait. So much less stress! In the end those tasks get done.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great reminder from you! I am so glad you are enjoying your summer there and your family is absolutely beautiful! I can’t get over Angie’s smiles and laughing face! What a beauty!
For ever, your friend Linda
Mindful obersvation. Life’s secret sauce. Love this. 😘
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